Damn my weak, stubborn heart. This could only lead to trouble.
Chapter 4
Nathan
I white-knuckledthe steering wheel as I pulled out of the school parking lot after the morning drop-off. My mind was a mess of scattered thoughts swirling in a chaotic maelstrom. I should be thinking about pack business, about anything other than how good Rissa looked this morning when I dropped Elle off. I kept replaying moments I shouldn't care about. The way she laughed when she teased me. The bright, easy confidence with which she carried herself.
A flash of movement caught my eye. The car in front of me had stopped. "Shit!" I slammed on the brakes, barely avoiding a collision. The other driver honked, cursing out the window. I could barely hear it over the pounding of my pulse.
What the hell was wrong with me? She was Gavin's little sister. Fifteen years younger than me. She was closer to Elle's age than mine. The realization landed like a punch to the gut. A fifteen-year gap. Damn it.
I forced myself to focus on the road. I couldn't let thoughts of Rissa distract me like this. I had to get my head straight and be the alpha my pack needed me to be.
Even as I tried to push her from my mind, I could still picture Rissa's playful smile and teasing tone as she called me a "grumpy dad" yesterday afternoon. It stirred something in me I hadn't felt in a long time. Something I thought died with Mira.
I shook my head, exhaling heavily through my nose. No. I refused to go down that road. Rissa was off limits in every possible way. I had to remember that no matter how damn good she looked or how her presence made me feel.
I pulled into the police station parking lot and shut off the engine. I sat there for a long moment, hands still tight on the wheel as I tried to force Rissa out of my head. Pack business. That's what mattered now. Everything else couldwait.
I strode into the police station gym, the familiar smells of sweat, rubber mats, and iron enveloping me. This was my haven. A place of focus and control where I could always count on pushing my body to its limits and burning away any unwanted thoughts or frustrations.
Except today, apparently, because as soon as I entered, I immediately regretted it. Gavin was already there, in the middle of a set of pull-ups. He dropped down when he saw me, a wide grin splitting his face.
The punching bag swayed and rattled on its chain as I pummeled it, grunting with each impact. Sweat trickled down my face, stinging my eyes. My muscles burned, but I welcomed the pain. Anything to distract me from thoughts of Rissa that I shouldn't be having.
"Finally decided to show up, old man?" Gavin's voice echoed across the police station gym. Damn it. The last person I wanted to see right now.
I shot him a scowl over my shoulder. "I can still put you on your ass, pup."
Gavin chuckled as he wrapped his hands. But then his gaze sharpened, beta instincts kicking in. "You look tense, Nate. Something on your mind?"
Mentally cursing, I stalked over to the free weights and started curling, putting my back to him. "Just pack business. The usual."
"Uh-huh." I could practically hear Gavin's smirk. "You know, you've been acting differently ever since the pack run the other night."
The weight nearly slipped from my grip. I tightened my hold at the last second. Shit. Was I that obvious? I needed to pull it together.
I forced a shrug, not meeting his eyes in the mirror. "Don't know what you're talking about."
Gavin snorted. "Right. Well, when you're ready to talk about whatever's got you so wound up, you know where to find me."
Relief coursed through me as I heard him head for the door. That was too damn close. I couldn't risk him putting the pieces together about Rissa.
Gritting my teeth, I reached for a heavier dumbbell. I channeled all my roiling emotions into each curl—my frustration, my guilt, my unwanted desire. I lost myself in the familiar burn and stretch of muscle.
This gym had always been my refuge—a place of discipline and control when my thoughts ran wild. Aplace for the alpha to find balance. And it had never been more needed than right now.
Because no matter how hard I tried to banish Rissa from my mind, she stubbornly crept back in. Her smile, her scent, the sound of her laugh... Damn it! I was the alpha—I should have better control than this.
Setting down the weights with more force than necessary, I braced my hands on my knees and just tried to breathe. To clear my head of inappropriate thoughts about a certain Pre-K teacher who was off limits.
After leaving the gym at the police station, I headed to the pack house located on my property. It was a two-story house that the pack used as a community center. We held events, like the monthly pack runs, mating ceremonies, and other celebrations. There was an activity center for the kids. Upstairs had six bedrooms, each with their own bathroom. The bedrooms were for visiting guests and other shifters who needed a place to stay for a little while. I also had my office on the first floor of the pack house as well as a conference room.
I settled in at my desk and focused on paperwork andadmin duties for the pack until it was time to pick up Elle from school.
As I drove to the school to pick up Elle, my mind circled back to Rissa. To the way she'd looked at me that morning, her gaze warm and inviting. To the way her scent had wrapped around me, intoxicating and alluring.
I pulled up to the school, scanning the crowd of students for Elle's familiar face. But even as I looked for my daughter, I found myself searching for a glimpse of Rissa, too.
