Nathan grimaced. "Yeah, no. I'm not sure what her deal is. She's seemed moodier than usual in general."
"Ah, to be thirteen again," I said wryly. "All those hormones." Then something occurred to me, and I glanced at him. "Hey, I just realized. Earlier, in the woods? That was the first time I've been with anyone since Henry."
Nathan's steps faltered. "Really?"
Heat crawled up my neck. "Yep. Guess you popped my dry spell. Congrats."
He huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. "Well, that makes two of us then." His eyes met mine, dark with promise. "And I plan to make up for lost time."
Before I could formulate a response to that, we stepped onto his back porch.
Swallowing hard, I dropped Nathan's hand and stepped away, putting some much-needed distance between us. "I should get going."
Disappointment flickered across his face, but he nodded. "Okay. I'll see you later?"
"Yeah. Later." I tried for a smile, but it felt stiff. Wrong.
As I walked to my car, every fiber of my being wanted to run to him, bury myself in his arms, and shut out the world, but I couldn't. We couldn't. Not now. Not yet. Maybe not ever, a cynical voice whispered.
Tears blurred my vision as I fumbled with my keys, my heart cracking under the strain of all I felt. All I feared.
Finally succeeding in unlocking the door, I slid behind the wheel and gripped it tight, my forehead falling against my white-knuckled hands.
What the hell were we going to do?
Nathan's words echoed in my mind as I drove away from his house. His confusion mirrored my own inner turmoil. Opening up after Henry, being vulnerable again, was terrifying.
Ipulled into Gavin’s driveway, my thoughts still swirling. My phone buzzed as I walked up the path to the front door. It was a text from Nathan.
We need to reconsider telling Gavin.
My heart sank. Gavin. He would never understand this, whatever it was between Nathan and me.
I typed back with shaking fingers.
I know. But not yet. Please.
The response came quickly.
He's my beta. It's not right to keep this from him, fated or not.
Tears stung my eyes as I replied.
I get it, but we don't even know what we want yet. Just give me some time. Please.
The typing bubble appeared, disappeared, and then reappeared. Finally, his message popped up.
Okay. For now. But we can't hide this forever.
I let out a shaky breath, equal parts relieved and terrified. Nathan was right. We couldn't keep this a secret indefinitely. But the thought of telling Gavin, of seeing the betrayal on his face, made me sick to my stomach.
Chapter 17
Nathan
I walkedinto Stock Creek Elementary with two coffees in one hand, my steps slow and deliberate. Every muscle in my body tensed, the wolf within me clawing at my insides, urging me to close the distance between Rissa and me. I shook my head, trying to dismiss it as a routine check on the pack's newest teacher.
"Morning, Nathan. What brings you here? Elle okay?" The front office receptionist greeted me with a smile.
