‘Like the greatest of?—’
‘No,’ Cal cut him off. ‘Just a goat.’ And Niall laughed. Maybe this was all he would get from his brothers in terms of insight. Should he take that as a sign, that there was nothing to say because he wasn’t like Archie. Yes, Mr McInally had instilled that in him at school and it hadstayed with him, but it was established that Mr McInally was dead and his opinion dead with him.
‘Listen,’ Cal said, as they walked back to reception after solving the escape room. ‘Don’t let Archie Butler fuck with your life or get in the way of you being happy with Carli, okay? If you need to talk about it, we can chat later, and there’s always the phone.’
‘What? How?’ How did Cal know? Him and Jamie with their insight. He wasn’t possessed with the same skills, and it was no wonder he felt like the odd one out.
‘I might not have seen you in years, but you’re my brother,’ Cal said. ‘We’re blood. She makes you stupidly happy. I remember how fucked-up things were when she left last time, and I can see – not to mention I heard last night – how much you like her. And she likes you. So don’t let that bit of your head, that may or may not have a little bit of Archie Butler’s DNA in it, take over. You’re not him. You decide how you live your life. Not some dead guy that never put an ounce of anything into raising you. You didn’t get more of his DNA than me or Jamie. You just worry that you did. Having a few problems at school and driving a car half a mile down the road with a bit of whisky in your system was stupid, but it’s not the same as being an abusive husband or sabotaging your brother’s life. You know that, right?’
‘Aye, aye, I do.’ Niall did. Everything Cal said made sense. Being here with his brother and hearing it said straight to his face made such a difference. In Australia all he had to go on were memories and maybe he’d been stewing on things for far too long. Being removed from his homeland he was detached from reality and all the memories became bigger and warped. But he was here now and talking to his down to earth brother made things so much clearer.
‘Good,’ said Cal. ‘You’re Jimmy Butler’s son, not Archie’s. You’re a good person who works hard and has achieved things. And Dad is hugely proud of you, by the way.’
‘What?’ This got Niall’s attention because it shot straight to the core of the problem. How his dad saw him was the foundation that underpinned it all.
‘You think he isn’t, but he is. I know for a fact that Dad doesn’t see Archie in you. He sees you. Your success, your hard work, your dedication to surfing, those kids you teach, and to making something of your life. If there’s anyone he sees in you, it’s himself. And if you want proof, I’ll tell you exactly where to find it.’
Niall was about to ask Cal to please continue, to tell him where this proof was, but the ring of a phone interrupted proceedings.
‘It’s Mum. Hang on.’ Cal lifted his phone to his ears.
Seconds later, Cal’s face turned ashen, and he was gripping onto a nearby table whilst listening intently to his mum talk.
‘Shit,’ he said when he ended the call. ‘Dad’s taken a turn for the worse and he’s in hospital.’
Chapter 26
Niall
Niall had never especially hated the smell of hospitals, but he was starting to understand why people did. He was building a bank of bad times – after Rafe and now this to see his dad. The pungent tang of disinfectant, that smelled an awful lot like the stuff the janitor used at school when someone was sick, tore at his nostrils.
‘I’ll wait outside,’ Carli said, when they reached his father’s room.
‘No, come in with me.’ Niall took her hand, it might be soft and small, but it made him stronger, somehow. ‘Please. Dad will love that you’re here.’
‘No,’ Carli insisted. ‘You have a bit of private time first and I’ll come in afterwards, okay?’
Reluctantly, without Carli, Niall pushed open the door of the room where Jamie and Nate were sitting round his dad’s bed. His father looked so pale and helpless wired up to a machine with an oxygen mask on his face. How could that be Jimmy Butler? The lifeless, grey form couldn’t be the same man who’d raised him on his shoulders as a kid.Who’d read him bedtime stories but also told him off countless times. The man who’d castigated him into next week when he’d driven that car with too much whisky in his bloodstream and his brother in the passenger seat. How could Jimmy Butler be dying? His dad. How could his dad be dying? The man who’d shown him right from wrong and what it was to be a man. To work hard and do your best and own your mistakes. And he had done those things. Sure, he chastised himself all the time, but there wasn’t a mistake Niall hadn’t owned or a lazy moment where he’d said he couldn’t be bothered any more. Yes, there were times when he struggled but he was always trying. Like Cal said, this was his father. This man. Not Archie Butler. Niall glanced at Jamie and Nate. His brothers. Jamie from the same parents, Nate adopted but blood, nonetheless. He hugged them both.
‘You okay, bro?’ Jamie asked. Nate clapped him on the back. Silent and understanding.
Niall nodded. ‘Where’s Mum?’
‘Gone home to get some things. Dad’s not getting out of hospital any time soon, but he’s stable, and she wants to sleep over here with him.’
His parents’ love for each other. There was nothing like it. If the shoe had been on the other foot and his mum was sick, his dad would have camped out by her bedside, too. If they’d been at risk of being separated by 12,000 miles, they’d have found a way to be together.
‘Where’s Carli?’ Jamie asked.
‘She’s outside. I’ll go bring her in.’
When Carli came into the room, she stalled at the sight of Jimmy in the bed.
‘I’m sorry.’ She held Niall in such a tight embrace that he wished he could stay there all day, life on pause with noneed to move forward and experience the pain of the future.
‘I’ve missed so much time with him,’ he muttered to her. ‘Why am I here only now? I should have been here all these years. What use is now when he’s out for the count?’
‘He knows you love him.’ Carli’s fingers traced and softened the line of tension down his jawline. ‘That’s what matters.’
