As she did so, Cal gripped her arm, pulling her away from the road.
‘Watch out,’ he said. ‘There’s a massive puddle. You don’t want to get soaked when the bus goes past.’
Guilt swiped at Bea as she realised what was happening. Cal thought the bus was driving by. He didn’t suspect that she was planning to get on it. Looking straight at the oncoming vehicle, she stepped to the kerb, alerting the driver to pull in.
‘Bea?’
As she found the courage to lift her eyes, Bea’s voice constricted with emotion. ‘Cal. I have had such a lovely time with you here, but I’ve overstayed my welcome and I need to go back to Edinburgh.’ She was pretty sure that sounded like the lie that it was. And Cal’s narrowed gaze told her she was on the money.
‘Are you serious?’
‘I am.’
‘But why?’ Cal asked. ‘Please be honest with me. We were having a great time. Or were you not?’
‘No, I was.’ Bea glanced at the now open bus door, and the driver who was staring expectantly to see if either of them were getting on board. There were mere seconds to decide. But she could see Cal needed her to say something. It was almost like he knew the words but needed them to come from her. Did he know she was upset about the baby? It seemed obvious, she supposed, because of the timing with Dorothy, but he wouldn’t know what had happened with Josh and how that crushing insignificance she had tried to escape was bearing down again. He couldn’t possibly understand about her insecurities around motherhood and that they were wrapped up with her burgeoning feelings for him.
‘Are youse getting on or not?’ The bus driver looked at his watch.
‘Could you give me one moment?’ Bea’s voice was trembling, her teeth were chattering. Couldn’t the driver seehow important this was? Wasn’t he used to delays because of romantic crises?
As if silently reading her mind and agreeing to meet her halfway, the man shook his head and puffed out a loud sigh, but stayed put, rapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
Bea turned to Cal. She owed him an explanation, but how to do it without revealing that she was falling for him? How could she frame it? What could she tell him? It was impossible.
‘Cal, I… Look…’
But Cal saved her from death by explanation. ‘Bea, please don’t go,’ he implored. ‘Or if you have to, for whatever reason, would you at least come back to the house, get your bag and get showered and warm. If, after that, you still want to go back to Edinburgh then I’ll drive you, no questions asked, okay?’
Well, how could she say no to that? Yes, the bus was here, and the temptation was to get away immediately, but her belongings were at Cal’s and she was freezing. And, to be fair, he was good to her. Bea sighed. She would bear the pain of being near him, caring as she did but not having it requited, for a few more hours. Tonight, she’d be back in her bed in her crummy apartment and things would be less intense.
‘Sorry,’ she mouthed to the bus driver, whom she could have sworn rolled his eyes before closing the doors and accelerating with an aggressive growl of the engine.
Thankfully, the decision had made one man happy. Cal was beaming, and Bea remarked to herself that she’d never seen such a luminescent smile on anyone’s face. Certainly not his.
‘You know, Dorothy was right,’ he said.
‘Dorothy was right about what?’
‘You. You’re stunning. And standing here soaked through with salt water in your hair, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.’
‘Dorothy said all that?’
Cal laughed. ‘Dorothy said she could tell you were beautiful inside and out.’
‘That was lovely of her to say. But I thought she couldn’t see me.’
‘She saw you from her window once she had her glasses on.’
‘Oh, okay.’
‘She’s an excellent judge of character. She also said that you were a million times nicer than Elisabetta.’
Hearing these words, warmed Bea’s heart. It was a wonderful sentiment, but how she wished that they were coming from Cal, rather than from a lady in her eighties who lived next door to him.
Chapter 39
Cal
