‘The maybe baby?’ Bea had to pretend she didn’t know because Cal didn’t know that she did.
‘My ex is pregnant,’ Cal said. ‘But she won’t confirm or deny whether it’s mine. She’s a little bit difficult. Hey, are you okay?’ He touched Bea’s shoulder and examined her with concern. ‘You’ve gone pale.’
‘I’m… um… fine,’ Bea stammered. ‘I just… I’m sorry, Cal. You know what. Maybe I shouldn’t have come here.’ Dealing with the raw reminder of Cal’s impending fatherhood was bothering her. Way more than she realised it might, but she couldn’t admit this because she would come across as jealous.
‘Oh! I thought we were having a great time. We were having a great time. It’s not the baby, is it? Believe me, Betta is a piece of work. I’ve told her I’ll support her all the way if she can say it’s mine. I’m not that other kind of a guy.’
‘I know you’re not. I’ve worked that out already.’
‘Ah, okay. So, you’re jealous cause Dorothy wants to spend some time with me?’ Cal was joking but Bea didn’t laugh, and he appeared to realise he’d overstepped the mark. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘My comic timing is woeful.’
‘Don’t worry about it,’ Bea said. ‘Look, I think I might go for a walk on the beach. I’m a bit drowsy after lunch.’
Cal furrowed his brow. ‘Okay, well, if that’s what you want to do. I’ll get showered and come with you.’
‘No, please don’t. I’d rather be alone.’
Bea went upstairs, grabbed her purse and changed back into her own clothes. She was getting out of here. There was bound to be a bus or something. There was no way she could have this out with Cal, admit to him that she was falling for him and was insecure of his baby with another woman – it sounded ridiculous – so she would have to do the cowardly thing and walk away. She’d leave her overnight bag. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was getting away from the intensity of her feelings for Cal and the fact that he was on a different chapter, never mind page. Oh, how naïve she’d been.
Chapter 38
Bea
Bea glanced toward the main road. She had seen a bus stop on the way in and it couldn’t be that far. A bus back to Edinburgh would give her the escape she needed, an escape that a walk on the beach would provide only in temporary measures.
As Bea turned right out of the front gate, she sensed someone watching her. Instinctively, she glanced towards the little cottage next to Cal’s but no one was there. She shook off the sensation and headed up the street towards the main road.
The road out of the village was longer than Bea remembered. She passed a lot of houses she hadn’t noticed on the way in, probably because she was so enthralled being with Cal. She saw a couple of people taking their dogs to the beach but dipped her head in case they knew Cal and might alert him to her whereabouts if he came looking for her.
The weather until now was clement: a light sea breeze, but also intermittent September sun to take the edge off the early autumnal chill. But the clouds that the sun was periodically disappearing behind had taken on a more sombrehue and Bea could see that the sky was shifting from blue to grey and the clouds were darkening by the second.
She shivered and hurried along the street. Where was the bus stop? Surely she hadn’t passed it already. A blob of rain dropped onto her nose. Oh no. And another, this time on her shoulder. Then, with an impatience to have their way, the raindrops tumbled down. Bea was wearing only jeans and a blouse and would get soaked. Time to jog.
By the time she reached the bus stop, Bea’s clothes were soaking wet.Please let the bus come along soon, because if I have to stand here for too long, I’ll freeze.As she was rubbing her arms to keep warm, she caught a glimpse of herself in the bus shelter. What a sight: her clothes were clinging to her in a hideous way, her hair was bedraggled from the earlier saltwater and her expression was miserable. She felt even worse. At least a bus was due soon and she could get out of here and back to some normality. That was, if they let her on, sea monster that she was.
‘Bea!’
Bea spun round to see who was calling her name. It could only be one person. Nobody else knew her round here.
And right enough, standing on the other side of the main road was Cal. He had ditched the wetsuit and apron and was now wearing jeans and a black t-shirt that were drenched and clinging to every last sculpted piece of him. Bea stared. Even from across the street, his eyes seared into her soul. He was so beautiful it made her heart ache. But how she wished he would go away, that he wasn’t heading across the road to the bus stop to stand right in front of her.
‘Bea, what are you doing here? You’re soaked through.’ Cal reached out and touched her arm. His hand was warm, and she wanted him to wrap his whole body around her andheat her to the core. ‘I thought you were going for a walk on the beach.’
Oh, why can’t he see? Why do I need to spell out what’s wrong? It’s too hard.
But Bea couldn’t lie either. Couldn’t pretend she’d come a different route for a walk, got caught in the rain and taken refuge in the bus shelter. She didn’t feel like pretending. So instead she said nothing. Stared at Cal until she couldn’t stare at him anymore because concern combined with stupendous handsomeness was too much when you couldn’t have it.
‘Are you going to say anything?’ Cal asked.
Bea found the mettle to let a few words escape her lips. ‘How did you know to find me here?’ she asked.
‘Dorothy said she saw you heading up this way when I went round to fix her tap. You said you were going to the beach, so I thought maybe you’d got lost.’
‘Yes,’ she turned back to him. ‘I got lost.’ This was true. She had got lost. Very lost, but not in the way Cal assumed. She had got lost in her emotions for him. Lost in direction. Lost in love? She glanced along the road and saw the bus approaching.
‘Well, it’s lucky I found you,’ said Cal.
For a split second, Bea allowed herself to indulge in a fantasy of those words meaning something else. Of Cal expressing how lucky they were to have met each other in this big old world. But he just meant finding her at the bus stop. And the bus was even closer now. She pressed the outside of her purse to check her wallet was inside.
