Cherry’s hot chocolate nearly became a salted one as a tear dropped from her eye.
‘I am lucky, aren’t I? I’ve spent so long hoping for someone like Sean, and I get him, and to be honest, I’ve spent a lot of time worrying that I’m not good enough for him.’
The surprise on Kirsty’s face threw things into a different perspective. For a moment, Cherry was standing outside her life staring in, seeing a woman who deserved the love of the man she’d fallen in love with at first sight. Of course, it was a little more complicated than that and she didn’t want to talk about that with Kirsty, not when she hadn’t seen her in years and Kirsty was expecting. But if you looked at it in a pure way, without all the baggage, you had two people who were besotted with one another. Plain and simple.
As Kirsty had just reiterated, some people waited a lifetime.
‘I could tell, by your wedding photo, you guys were smitten. You looked so happy.’
‘We were.’ Cherry watched Kirsty’s small daughter playing with a toy. She smiled at the little girl, who smiled back at her. ‘We are. Very happy.’
‘He sounds like a total keeper, Cherry. I hope you plan on never letting him go.’
Cherry imagined herself replying to this with:Well, I’ve been thinking about it.It sounded so ridiculous. And if she did let him go, she knew that, like Kirsty with Joe, she would never be able to erase the memory of him. Sean Butler was seared into her heart forever. If she left him, she would feel the tug of the scars every day for the rest of her life.
She was so very nearly there. But there was still a streak of fear sitting in her gut. How did she reconcile with that?
‘Are you staying the night?’ Pam asked again when Cherry returned to her mum’s caravan later that afternoon. ‘I’ll make your favourite for tea.’
‘Sure, but what is that?’ Cherry didn’t even know what her favourite meal was anymore.
‘Macaroni cheese.’
Gosh, she had forgotten about her mum’s macaroni cheese, or mac and cheese as everyone else seemed to call it. ‘Thanks, that would be really nice, Mum. Can you grill the cheese on the top so it’s kind of burnt, but only a wee bit?’
Pam smiled. ‘I’ll see what I can do.’
Cherry rubbed at her wedding ring, getting to be a force of habit now. She had left Kinshore to find her identity, and around the poker table wasn’t enough. She’d made peace with her mum and recognised that, to some extent, she had to find her own way forward. The babies thing might always trigger her. The only question remaining was where did Sean fit into the future? It would be rough at times. Could she bring him onto a ship that would potentially weather storms, knowing that there would be beautiful, placid waters too?
Pam came over to her, glanced at Cherry’s hand andlifted it to the light. ‘You know, I never said before, but this is a beautiful wedding ring. He’s spared no expense on you.’
The observation struck Cherry like the sharp glare of the evening sun on the white diamonds. Sean really had gone all in on her, taken a huge gamble, bigger than most men would have. Because he wasn’t most men. And she’d done the same for him because she’d been twenty-four-carat certain he was the one.
Still was.
A man she’d do anything for, and who would do anything for her.
‘That ring tells you a lot about the man,’ Pam added. ‘But I told you before he’s the King of Cups. A solid man. Not that you need me to tell you that. You’re the one who’s good at reading people. Tells and all that, if you’re explaining it in poker speak.’
Cherry huffed out a laugh that was nearly a sob. ‘Aye, Mum, tells.’ Jesus, was there ever more truth spoken by her mother? The tells were there, plain as day, every time she looked at Sean. Sure, marrying him was a reckless gut decision, and logic had been whispering to her ever since. But if she thought Sean played their marriage based on gut, she’d underestimated him. Repeatedly, he’d shown that his choices carried thought, weight and love. She needed to accept that he could make decisions about his own future; he knew there would be rough and smooth. It was vital she learned to trust him.
Otherwise, she might live with the regret of losing him, forever.
The decision was made, and the weight off her shoulders at that was immense. She would call him and speak to him this evening.
‘Shall I help you with tea, Mum? Peel the potatoes or something?’
‘Thanks. That would be great, love.’
Cherry was reaching for the peeler when, on the table, her phone vibrated. For a moment, she stared at the screen in puzzlement. Summer’s name lit up the screen.
Why would Summer be calling?
It could only be something to do with Sean.
Oh fuck.
‘Are you okay, love?’ Her mum’s voice filtered through from what sounded like miles away.
