He took a deep breath and pulled my leg across his lap, causing me to straddle him. Slowly sliding his hands under my shirt, he pulled it off and said, “Well, at least get that negative energy off you. I don’t mind you using me to do so.”
“I bet yo’ ass don’t,” I said as I began rolling my hips.
I lowered my face to his and kissed him. He gripped my hips and dropped his head back to the couch as he enjoyed what he was feeling. I closed my eyes and did my best to block Noni from my thoughts.
CHAPTER 2
NONI
“Why you outside?”
I turned to see Red. Taking a deep breath, I shook my head and went back inside with him on my heels. He gently grabbed my arm, causing me to stop walking. When he got in front of me, he said, “It’s something, Noni. You gon’ lie to my face?”
I slightly rolled my eyes. “Red, you know what it is. Don’t play dumb. That shit ain’t cute.”
I walked away from him and went to the kitchen to get another boudin. As I loaded my plate with nacho chips to go along with it, Maui appeared next to me. She didn’t say anything, so I didn’t either. I went to the table and sat, preparing to eat my food. Ace sat next to me as I ate a chip.
“What’s up, girl?”
“Hey.”
“You know all you gotta do is say the word if that nigga fucking up, right?”
“He’s not fucking up, Ace. Now move so I can eat.”
“Well, somebody in y’all fucking quartet is fucking up. The one person I know itain’tis Carter Legend. That nigga sofocused on bull riding, he ain’t got time for shit else. So who is it?”
“Didn’t I say for you to fucking move around, nigga?”
He smirked at me. “Uh-huh. Y’all two the muthafuckas. We gon’ talk. Where the fuck Seven went?”
“He had to take Iesha home. She had shit to do for the business.”
He nodded and stood from the table. “Yeah. I’ma get to the bottom of this shit, and when I do, both of y’all asses gon’ be in the fucking hot seat. Everybody can tell y’all ain’t getting along, so I don’t know why y’all being all hush-hush about the shit.”
I rolled my eyes, wishing everyone could stop trying to fix it. Bali was the only one who could fix this. She dictated everything we did, but because I wouldn’t allow her to dictate my love life, it was a problem. This shit was partially my fault for going along with shit all these years. It felt like I was changing up on her. I was. I explained that to her ass, but she didn’t want to hear it.
Red sat next to me with another plate of his own. I could see him glancing at me. Just as he was about to say something, Asad approached, calling him away for whatever reason. I was happy for that interference because I hated showing my sensitivity. Bali and I were more alike than we were different, especially in regard to our emotions. That was why when we bumped heads, it was intense. This time was different though.
It felt like we were no longer connected. We weren’t getting along, but I knew, eventually, we would make up. The part I was worried about was how she and Red would get along. Neither of them bit their tongues for shit. Bali was ready to fuck him up a couple of times. How would I be happy in my relationship if Bali wouldn’t come around while I was with Red Squared? I was trying not to allow her to come between him and me, but it was getting harder by the day.
I missed her so much. Although I was different in my relationship, I was still the same Noni. I wouldn’t make it without Bali, no matter how much I was trying to prove my independence. I knew she wouldn’t make it without me either. She just hated seeing me relinquish control to Red.
Red was a nigga’s nigga. His temper was off the fucking charts at times, even worse than mine. I knew if I calmed down some, he would, too. It was like he fed off whatever energy I was putting out there. Most times, whenever he was around Carter, he was laid-back. With me, he was somewhat pushy, but I knew that was because I wasn’t forthcoming about things, especially my emotions.
He'd been saying he loved me for over a year now. I didn’t concede until about five months ago and expressed how I felt for him. I loved his ass more than I’d loved anyone. His ass had to threaten to leave me to get that out of me. Bali had it right. I was changing, but I was changing for me, not just for him. I didn’t know why I was so withdrawn. It seemed all of my siblings were that way, except Maui.
Seven toned his attitude down when Iesha was around and nobody had shit to say about that, not even Bali. There were some things you naturally did when you cared deeply for somebody. I took a deep breath and ended up getting choked from the food still in my mouth. I quickly guzzled some water to calm that shit down, then stood from my seat and threw my plate in the trash.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and tried to call Bali, but she didn’t answer. We needed to squash this. I hated being at odds with her. Our workdays seemed to get longer and longer every day. We barely talked to each other. One time, I grabbed a patient chart, and there was a sticky note on it. Bali left that shit for me to see. All it read was,bitch.
I approached her after work, and we nearly came to blows. Had it not been for Uncle Kenny getting between us, it would have. She was so angry. Honestly, I was, too. I hated that we couldn’t come to an understanding aboutmylife. If I fell on my face, then I would just fall on my fucking face. Red and I were still working through some things. She and Carter had been liking one another their entire lives. They had years of experience over us, although she didn’t tell me about that shit until we were leaving for Atlanta.
Plus, Red and Carter were like night and day. I didn’t even understand how they were friends. I supposed the same way he and Bali made their relationship work. I went and sat outside, trying to calm my emotions. I’d seen Bali do the same thing, but Daddy saw her. She left because she needed time alone . . . away from me.
The tears I was desperately trying to hold in burst from my soul. I cried audibly for a moment, then stood and walked home, leaving my car in the driveway. Once inside, I went to my bedroom and collapsed in bed. I still had on my scrubs, so I knew I would be stripping my bed tonight to wash my sheets. I just didn’t have the energy or desire to right now.
I balled up in the fetal position and cried more, needing to release all these pent-up emotions. Bali and Carter got along well because they accepted each other just the way they were. That was a hard pill to swallow. I should have demanded that Red accepted me the way that I was, too, but I was starting to get to a point where I didn’t like me either.
