I nod, pulling the t-shirt over my head and finally not feeling so completely naked.
I crawl onto the bed and pull the blankets aside, and Bardil disappears.
Dammit, this is really difficult.
I don't want to need him or be attracted to him.
But his quiet, gentle nature is everything to me right now.
I sigh, closing my eyes for a moment with my head leaning against the headboard.
"Oops," I sit up, realizing how wet my hair is and how it's soaking through the pillow.
I grab the towel and start squeezing my hair. It shows how distracted I am.
But also how tired I am.
Bardil comes back carrying two boxes of pizza and more water.
He eyes the hairdryer on my dresser. Setting the pizza down, he goes to fetch it.
"Sit with your back to me while you eat," he says, coaxing me around. "I don't want you to sleep with wet hair.
If I thought washing my hair was an intimate experience, then drying it is a whole different level. I can't even try and eat with his fingers playing through my hair as he fluffs it out and patiently blow-dries it.
When he's finished, he brushes carefully, then turns me to rest against the headboard again.
"Do you feel better?" he asks, setting the pizza box on my lap again.
"So much better," I murmur sleepily.
"You're still very pale, but at least your cheeks have a little rose to them," he smiles, sitting down next to me.
I open the pizza box and lift out a slice. My stomach grumbles as I take a bite.
My body is still unsure about eating, but I chew slowly with my eyes closed.
Bardil chats while he eats.
"My sister went through a phase where she only wanted to use one hundred percent natural products. It made it impossible to buy her anything, and she became so fussy that we stopped shopping for her. I don't know if it was because of a great cause, or just some idea she had in her head, but she got so obsessed with it that she started making her own shampoo and soaps and things."
I listen to him, hearing the smile in his voice even though my eyes are closed.
"The whole house would smell of lavender or peppermint. Sometimes lemon and Ylang Ylang. I never liked the smell of Ylang Ylang."
"So, that's your secret," I giggle.
"Peppermint, on the other hand, was a scent I really enjoyed. I liked it so much she bought me one of those oil burner things. Do you know what I'm talking about?"
"I do," I say.
He pauses, peering into my pizza box. "Try and eat one more slice, little rabbit, you're doing so well."
His caring coaxes a weird sensation from me, a need to please him. I pick up another slice and bite into it. His eyes are warm as he watches me.
"My brother, Simon… gosh, he'd kill me if he knew I was telling you this," Bardil laughs, a deep heartfelt laugh that rumbles from his chest. "Talia's soap-making obsession got more and more creative, and she bought a bunch of different molds and started making soaps shaped like things. A heart. A sun. A strawberry. Our bathroom was filled with these weird, half-melted, oddly shaped things. Sometimes you had to guess what it was, and she'd get offended if you didn't know. That was… until she made a chocolate-shaped soap. Man, that soap literally looked like a bar of chocolate. It was really cool. She was proud of it, too."
"She's never told me about her soap fetish," I laugh, taking another bite.
