She laughs too and pushes me back enough to study my face. "Sorry. You just looked so anxious."
"Well, yeah," I grumble and move to the coffeepot. "You yelled."
Mom sighs, and I stiffen as I pour myself a cup. "We need to talk, Violet." Thankfully, she doesn't stop there and just barrels forward with her tough love. "I think it's time you talked to Nate and Ellis. Whether it's to find closure or find a way forward, you need to."
My irritation flares again. Spinning around to face her, I can't conceal my angry frown or the defensiveness of my words. "Why the hell do Ineedto do anything? I told Jamie last night that I want to find a way to heal on my own. Not that we aren't together, but not everything can be fucking fixed by a man, Ma. You know that."
"Shit, I'm so glad you feel that way. You don't need a man to heal, you're right. A man does not define you, V." She looks so darn proud of me, I feel myself relax a little again.
"So why are you pushing me to talk to them?" I'm confused and taken aback by her fierce stance on Nate and Ellis.
Her temper flares as she tosses her hands in the air with a huff. The whiplash from this conversation is grating on my nerves.What the hell is going on?
"I can't have beaten and bruised men in my driveway every morning, Violet!"
Following her line of sight, I choke a little on my saliva. "What? Oh my God, what happened?" Ellis looks like he got runover, and Nate looks ready to barrel past Levi and bust the front door down.
"Why don't you go out there and ask for yourself?" Mom pushes, watching Levi reprimand my three guys.
Not mine.
With a heavy dose of sass, I lean against the counter and squint my eyes to get a better look at the bruising on Ellis' jawline. "Seems Uncle Levi has it under control."
My words may conceal the guilt and worry churning in my tummy, but Istillfeelit. I hate seeing Ellis hurt. Maybe more so than Jamie because I know Jamie can deal with it. Ellis just looks like a kicked fucking puppy with Nate hovering protectively behind him.
"Violet." Mom sighs. At least she sounds resigned this time.
My shoulders slump, and I acknowledge her concern. The three of them will continue their trajectory into Levi's fists if I don't do something. No, I'm not going to just forgive and forget, but I'm not running either. I need answers. If it only leads to closure and we move on, then fine.I hope. I hope I can be fine again someday.
"I know, Mama," I murmur, battling the urge to cry. Then the heavens open up and drop my saving grace at the right moment. Cassidy pulls into the driveway. My mood immediately lifts as she joins the crowd outside. She pats Jamie on the shoulder and brushes past the other two on her way up to the front door.
"I want a girl’s night first. Then I'll figure everything out," I assure Mom, who watches me with so much love that my next breath shudders. "Party then plan."
"Honey, I'm home!!" Cassidy yells from the entryway, drawing much-needed smiles from us. "I have weed and booze! Oh—Hi, Blue." Cass stumbles over her words as she rounds the corner into the kitchen.
Mom rolls her eyes and descends on my friend with a big hug and laughter. "Calm down, Cass. Felix already told me about thefunbrownies you made."
Cass cringes and glances at me. I get it, sometimes she forgets Mom is cool and actually my cousin. Laughing, I dive at Cassidy and hug her like I haven't seen her in forever.
She grunts but is quick to wrap me in her arms. "Don't ever do that to me again," Cass growls, but her voice wavers with emotion. Nodding, I can't help the tears that finally slip from my lashes.
"I'm so sorry," I whimper, clinging to her harder. Mom leaves the room with a lingering kiss on the back of my head.
"You should be," Cassidy teases with a little laugh that sounds like she's crying too. "I missed you."
"Missed you," I murmur, feeling so much better about my ability to be vulnerable with my best friend.
I really thought all I needed was my mom. Which was completely true when I was drowning in heartbreak and physical pain. But my loved ones, like Cassidy and Jamie, are proving how wonderful it is to have multiple safe places.
I'm thankful for each and every one of them.
“So, like...did you ever find out what Jamie's favorite color is?” Cassidy slurs. Her head hangs over the side of the couch as she watches me fiddle with the wrap on my ankle.
Giggling at her red face and ridiculous question, I press my cold hands to my warm cheeks to calm down a little. It's too late for that, though, because I'm totally slurring more than Cass.
Mom watches, completely sober oddly enough, with a smile on her face. She's been laughing and enjoying our silliness. I can tell seeing me happy and socializing with someone other than her is helping her feel better about my mental health.
I already feel better. Lighter. Supported.
