My skin is tight with nerves. It's only been three days, but it feels like a fucking lifetime stuck in hell.
Violet won't see me and hasn't answered any of my texts. I've kept my words sweet and understanding, but I'm starting to lose my grasp on my patience.
Nate and Ellis are also partially to blame for the ants in my pants. I don't hold all the blame for my risky plan tonight. For fuck’s sake, I haven't been able to do anything without them on my ass.
Every time I've gone to Blue's house to check on Violet or just to see if her car is still there, those fuckers follow. It's infuriating because there's no way Violet will ever let me back in if she sees I'm with them.
Three days. But I'm a desperate bastard in need of my woman. I'll literally take any kind of attention from her. I'm shooting for open arms and love, but my plan will most likely only give me anger and yelling. Anything is better than silence and distance.
I've been absolutely itching to leave for the past few hours, but with Nate and Ellis lingering around the house I'm stayingin, I had to wait. Since they're staying in the guest room upstairs instead of the living room now, sneaking out is easier.
Bundled in my winter coat and boots, I keep my steps light and close the front door softly behind me. For the first time in what feels like five minutes, I take a breath. My heart is pounding in my chest as if I'm doing something wrong. I'm not, but them following me into the situation I'm about to create would only make it worse.
Instead of driving the short two minutes to Blue's home, I decide to walk. No need to start my car and wake the two bastards up. It's past midnight, so there's no guarantee Violet's even awake, though I'm prepared to camp out on their doorstep until someone lets me in.
With my hands shoved in my pockets, I traipse along the side of the road. The short walk gives me time to think about the choices I've made recently.
I can't really explain why I've let Nate and Ellis crash at my family friends' house with me. Maybe it's the sheer desperation wafting off them in waves or my curiosity about how far they will go to prove themselves to Violet.
It's a bit twisted, but I want to witness their worry and their anxious sweat to right their wrongs. This front-row seat to their dilemma helps curb some of my anger.
As Cassidy said, I'm not a bad guy, so of course I let them stay with me. Though she might appreciate seeing their despair, too.
It just sucks that having them close is bringing up more feelings when I should only be focused on Violet. I hate the way I want to wrap myself around Ellis when he's lost in his thoughts and tears fill his eyes. When I shoved Nate up against the pantry door, my body responded to his touch, pissing me off to no end.
They still affect me, and it's the last thing I need.
My steps come to a halt in Blue's driveway when a car pulls in behind me. With my heart in my throat and my cheekbonethrobbing from the last punch I received, I wait to see what happens.
Thankfully, the two men who step out of the car don't rush me. One eyes me with hesitation and the other looks thoughtful.
"Jamie," the latter greets with a nod. "I'm Jared. This is Declan." He gestures to the other guy, who glances at the house.
The urge to turn around and see if someone's watching us is strong, but I stay facing Declan and Jared.
"Nice to meet you officially," I reply, trying to breathe steadily. Thrusting my hand out, I offer it to Jared. He eyes it for a moment, then, thank fuck, he shakes it.
Declan doesn't step forward, just frowns and continues to linger further away. I nod my head to him in respect. I get it. Violet won't see me, so why should he want to?
"I know it's late—" I start, but Jared chuckles.
"You want to see V," he states like it's obvious. I suppose it is. "Come on." Jared jerks his head to the side, and I follow immediately. Instead of going to the front door, he walks around the side of the house, using the shoveled path.
"Are you going to bury me back here or some shit?" I grumble, looking around. I breathe a sigh of relief when lights twinkle over the patio, and a fire is warming the chilly night.
Declan snorts behind me, startling me for a second. I didn't realize he followed, and now I'm sandwiched between two older, jacked men who probably want to rearrange my face some more.
"We'll wait for Violet to give the order before murdering you," Declan teases and shoves past me to reach Jared, who's stopped up by a set of trees.
"Then what are we doing?" Honestly, I'm unnerved. This is the most hospitality I've received from V's family, and yet I'm freezing, standing in their backyard by a shed.
"Look." Jared lifts his chin back to the house. I do as he says, half cringing away like I'm about to get a shovel to the back of my head, then I see her.
Violet sits curled up on the outdoor couch in front of the fire. The roof over the patio keeps the space sheltered from snow but not the cold. I watch, transfixed, with a ringing in my ears as she snuggles further under her pile of blankets.
Her position reminds me of the night she was mugged. I piled anything warm I could find on top of her. Shielding her from the chill in her bones, and doing the only thing I could to help her. Now, I'm useless once again.
"She's struggling," Jared shares.
