"What?" he snaps when my stare lingers for too long. His harsh voice reminds me I can't do any of the things I long to do.
My teeth ache with the force of my clenched jaw, but I can't help it. It's infuriating not knowing what to do. How do I bridge this space between us when it's there because of my deceit?
"Where are we?" I ask, feeling like it's an easy enough question.
Jamie leans his hip against the counter and crosses his arms. "Funny you askafterbreaking in and sleeping on the floor."
"Funny you left the door unlocked," I retort, only slightly regretting my words.
But Jamie just shrugs. "I wanted to see how far you would go to try to heal the damage you caused."
"We will do anything?—"
Jamie cuts me off. "But the thing about the kind of pain you inflicted is that no matter how old the wound is, there will still be scars and memories. I wonder how you'll manage the phantom pains we might face years down the road. If you make it that long," he mumbles and turns to open the fridge.
"Jamie—"
The fucker once again talks over me, this time with orange juice in his hand. "My parents' friends allowed me to stay here for a bit while they're on vacation. I called them once I realized how close they lived to Blue's house."
"What a coincidence," I comment, all the while frowning. "Do they know Blue?"
"Not sure." He pours a glass and continues to move throughout the kitchen as if this is all normal. As if my dick wasn't in his ass less than a week ago. He brushes past me without touching me, like we weren't on the cusp of building something amazing.
As the minutes wear on and he continues to ignore me, my impatience rises. I'm not usually so uncertain, and it's making all rationality flee from my brain.
"I'm sorry, okay?!" I explode, hands childishly flinging in the air.
Slowly, as if to torment me, Jamie turns around and levels me with a flat look. "Your apology doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. I don't know who you really are."
That statement startles me. "Of course you know me, Jamie."
"Not really. The Nate I knew would never have done this to Violet. I can get over what you did to me, but not her. Never her. Nobody hurts my woman and gets a pass, Nate."
He says everything so matter-of-factly like it's not horribly complicated. Actually, it'snotthat complicated. "I made amistake, Jamie. A drunken miscalculation based on past hurts and lingering anger. I'msorry!"
Raising an eyebrow, Jamie studies me. I know whatever he's about to say will push me and challenge me, and I'm ready. I was right.
"You say these things like you actually care."
"Of course I fucking care!" Shit, I wasn't as prepared as I thought. "I care more thananything. Ellis, Violet, you...you're everything to me. I lo?—"
Faster than I can blink, Jamie's hand is around my throat, and he has me pinned to the pantry door behind me. "Don't you fucking dare use the L word right now. Not when it concerns me. I already know you love Violet and Ellis. That's all you get. Now shut the fuck up and pour me a cup of coffee."
Holy fuck. I'm not usually the one being pushed around with my airways partially cut off, but I might be a little into it. Judging by the heat in his eyes, he's turned on too.
Just when I think he's about to kiss me and choke me out, he shoves away before storming out of the kitchen.At least his body still likes me.
Eleven
VIOLET
“So they really came over yesterday and you refused to see them? Even Jamie?" Cassidy sounds shocked and a little disappointed. I'm not sure why, because she should be damning them to hell.
"Um, yes?"
Cassidy requested to video call like fifteen minutes ago, but I didn't want her to see my face. I'm blotchy and my eyes have bags under them. It's been three days since coming back to Mom's house after the hospital, and while my body is healing, my mental health is taking a toll on my appearance.
Even though I can't see her, I know my friend is frowning and pursing her lips. "But Jamie didn't do anything wrong, V. Why are you punishinghim?"
