“Will we?” Eris asked quietly. “Because it doesn’t feel like surviving. It feels like drowning in slow motion.”
TWENTY-THREE
Jupiter
I wokeup to Noodle sliding across my cheek, his cool scales a balm against my fevered skin. My throat felt raw from screaming into my pillow all night, and my body ached like I’d been hit by a truck. Aiden had been with someone again, I’d felt every touch, every kiss, every moment when he tried and failed to perform. The emotional aftermath had been worse than if he’d succeeded.
‘You smell sick,’Noodle said, his tongue flicking near my ear.
“I’m fine,” I lied, pushing myself up from the floor where I’d collapsed sometime after midnight.
My arms throbbed with fresh crescent marks where I’d dug my nails into my skin, desperate for any pain that might distract from what was pouring through the bond. I pulled my sleeves down to cover them, wincing as the fabric brushed against the raw wounds.
It had been three weeks since my life imploded. Three weeks since they’d found those emails I never wrote, messages detailing plans I never made, manipulations I would never have conceived. Three weeks of hell.
I stumbled to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face, avoiding my reflection. I already knew what I’d see. Hollow eyes, dark circles, and skin that had gone from pale to nearly translucent. I’d lost weight I couldn’t afford to lose, and my hands trembled constantly now.
The bond was killing me.
That was the cruel irony. Whoever had planted those emails had known exactly what they were doing. The bond itself remained intact, and I could block them from accessing me, but they never bothered blocking themselves.
I could feel everything. Their anger. Their pain. Their disgust. And worse, their attempts to erase me with other women.
My phone buzzed on the nightstand. Lydia.
L: You coming to class today?
I stared at the message. I’d missed six training sessions already this week. The write-ups were piling up on my desk, each one threatening more serious consequences if I didn’t “fulfill my academic obligations.” As if I cared about any of that anymore.
J: No.
L: Tye’s coming to get you in 20. No arguments.
I didn’t bother responding. Arguing with Lydia was pointless when she got like this.
I pulled on a black turtleneck and leggings, the most coverage I could manage. The less skin I showed, the fewer whispers followed me.
My laptop sat open on the desk, the screen filled with scans of ancient texts on bond-breaking that I’d been translatingall night. So far, every potential solution was worse than the problem. Rituals that would leave me catatonic, spells that required blood sacrifices, potions with ingredients I couldn’t even pronounce.
But I had to find something. I couldn’t keep living like this, feeling them with other women, feeling their hatred directed at me like poison in my veins. Yeah, their cocks were soft and Aiden threw up when they touched him, but I’d felt it when a woman put her mouth on Percy’s useless cock, when Eris ran his fingers over bare skin.
‘Food?’Noodle asked, coiling around my wrist.
“Not hungry,” I mumbled, but I grabbed an apple anyway. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten a full meal.
A knock at the door made me flinch. I knew immediately it wasn’t Tye.
“Jupiter?” Professor Hartwell’s voice. My magic theory professor. “I need to speak with you.”
I considered pretending I wasn’t there, but she’d just come back later. With a sigh, I opened the door.
“You missed another session,” she said without preamble, her eyes taking in my disheveled appearance with professional concern. “That’s seven this week.”
“I’m aware.”
She held out another slip of paper. “This isn’t a write-up. It’s a summons from Director Waverly. Tomorrow, nine a.m.”
I took it without looking at it. “Fine.”
