Melissa’s hand found its way under my shirt again, her fingers tracing patterns on my skin that should have excited mebut left me cold. Her touch was wrong—too light, too tentative. It lacked the confidence, the innate understanding of what I needed that Jupiter had possessed from the first moment.
She dropped to her knees, unzipping my pants and pulling my cock free. When her lips closed over me, I was only half-hard, and only because of the memory of Jupiter’s lips on my skin. Melissa sucked me like her life depended on it, but I started to soften.
“Percy,” Melissa murmured looking up at me with a frown. “You’re not even hard.”
I pulled back, running a hand through my hair in frustration, then tucked myself back into my pants, feeling like I was going to vomit. “I can’t do this.”
She sighed, a scowl making her look petulant as she stood, dirt caking on her knees. “It’s her, isn’t it? Even after everything, you’re still hung up on her.”
“It’s not that,” I lied. “I’m just not in a good place right now.”
“Of course you’re not,” she said, her voice softening with calculated sympathy. “What she did to you, to all of you... it was cruel. Using her Ophis magic to manipulate your emotions, make you think you were bonded...” She stroked my cheek. “But I’m here now. I can help you through this.”
I stepped back, suddenly needing space. “I should check on Eris.”
Hurt flashed across her face before she masked it with understanding. “Of course. Your shield comes first. I get it.” She pressed a lingering kiss to my cheek. “Find me when you’re ready. I’ll be waiting.”
She walked away, hips swaying deliberately, knowing I was watching. I should have called her back. Should have taken what she was offering. I could have closed my eyes and pictured Jupiter, and fucked Melissa’s wet pussy until I blacked out and didn’t have to think anymore.
Instead, I turned toward the woods where Eris had disappeared with Lyssa. The sounds of the party faded as I moved deeper into the trees, following the faint feel of Eris through the bond. Our shield bonds remained intact even as the axis bond felt withered like a severed limb.
I found him sitting alone on a fallen log, head in his hands. No sign of Lyssa.
“Where’s your admirer?” I asked, dropping down beside him.
He looked up, his amber eyes bloodshot and unfocused. “Sent her away.”
“Why? Thought you were looking forward to... what did you call it? ‘Fucking the memory of that silver-eyed demon witch out of your system’?”
Eris laughed bitterly. “Turns out it’s not that easy.” He took a long pull from a flask I hadn’t noticed before. “I got her clothes off and then... nothing. Couldn’t even get my cock to work.” He passed me the flask. “Pathetic, right?”
I took a drink, the whiskey burning less than the truth. “Aiden’s been through half the Taurus dorm with the same result. He said every time they even touch him he gags.”
“And you?”
“Same,” I admitted, running a hand over my face. “It’s like she ruined us.”
We sat in silence for a while, passing the flask back and forth. Above us, the stars seemed impossibly bright, reminding me of the starlight that had poured from Jupiter’s skin when she’d nearly died in Philadelphia.
Had that been real?
“I saw her today,” Eris said suddenly. “In the library.”
My head snapped up. “And?”
“And nothing. She looked...” He struggled to find the words. “Broken. Like someone had hollowed her out from the inside.Didn’t even lift her head when people started whispering. Just kept reading whatever book she had.”
“Good,” I said, the word tasting like ash in my mouth. “She deserves it.”
Eris studied me for a long moment. “Do you really believe that?”
“Don’t you? After what she did?”
He looked away, his expression troubled. “I don’t know what I believe anymore.” He took another drink. “But I know what I feel. And it doesn’t feel fake, Percy. It feels like my heart’s been ripped out of my fucking chest.”
I knew exactly what he meant. Every morning, I woke up reaching for her, the phantom sensation of her body next to mine so vivid it was staggering when my hands found empty sheets. Every night, I dreamed of silver eyes and serpent tattoos, waking with her name on my lips and tears I would never acknowledge burning in my eyes.
“We’ll get through this,” I said, not believing it for a second. “We survived before her. We’ll survive after.”
