Speaking of snacks…Marlon walks in when I grab a water bottle off the table of refreshments in the middle of the room. We both freeze as our gazes look, then Marlon looks away and hurries over to his cubby, faint blush spreading across his cheeks. My heart flutters at the sight, andthatis dangerous as fuck.
It’s just Marlon. He looks exactly like he did yesterday and all the days before that. Angular face, dangerous cheekbones, short, ashy blond hair. A friend. Amate. Someone I grew up with, someone whose style of play is so engrained in my subconscious I could pick up a long pass from him blindly.
My heart shouldn’t be involved in this. The mini boner earlier? Yes, fine. Inconvenient but understandable. This though? I need to shut it down, pronto.
But fuck if I don’t remember that blush from last night, as well as the coy smile that accompanies it. It felt so good under my fingers.
Nope, nope, nope.Fucking chill, Bloom.Okay, what would I normally do? I would greet him. Right? He’s one of my best mates. Of course I would. So I turn around to where Marlon has shed his coat and I get a split second to admire his muscular back hiding in plain sight under the jumper he’s wearing. Then Marlon turns back to the room and catches my eye.
NowI’mthe one blushing? What the—I swallow. “Hey.” I’m known for my cockiness. For being unfazed, no matter what life—or the opposing team—throws at me. I am fully unlike myself.
“Hey.” Marlon’s eyes crinkle ever so slightly when he smiles, which is a perfectly normal thing to notice.
“You -” I clear my throat and look past his right shoulder. “You get home okay? Last night?”
His eyes flick up to mine and away again, then he bends to untie his boots. “Yeah,” he says softly.
“Did Clara give you grief?” I can’t seem to stop talking. Or watching his deft fingers move. “For coming home so late?”
Marlon snorts without looking up. “Are you kidding? She was having mimosas for breakfast to celebrate.”
I grin involuntarily and can see the corners of his mouth tugging upward, too. That sounds like Clara.
Silence falls between us and every passing second becomes more awkward. “So, uh, I’ll see you out there, yeah?” My voice is too loud but I can’t dial it down. “Gotta take a piss.” With that, I turn, drop the water bottle back on the table, and flee.
Wow, Bloom. Real smooth.
Oh my god. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so embarrassed. My heart isn’t beating right, the rhythm off-beat and too fast, and I’m glad to lock myself in a cubicle in the bathroom. It’ll be fine. It will all be fine. Sure, things are awkward now, but that’s to be expected. It’s not every day you hook up with a teammate.
Or find yourself smitten with him afterwards.
Fuck. No. Not smitten. Just…confused. No. Not that either. I’m…fine. Yes.
Shit, I need to get a grip. We’re about halfway through the season and the upcoming weeks and months will be tough. The first team plays more games than the under-21s did last year and I can’t afford any distractions. I need to stay on top of my game if I want to prove the manager right for trusting me.
If any of this affects my performance, I will be so fucked.
If it affects Marlon’s performance, I will never forgive myself.
I need to get into the right mindset. Right now.
So I consciously relax my body and unclench my fists, do a couple shoulder rolls and then sit there and grin at the grey cubicle door like an idiot until it finally feels natural. Until it feels like I can go back out there and be the Freddie they’re all expecting to see.
Which I can totally do. I’m the same person I’ve always been. One night certainly doesn’t have the potential to change that.
CHAPTER 4
Marlon
The new yearhas rolled around and not much has changed.
That’s not true. Everything has changed.
But also nothing.
I still live with Clara and she’s still the bane of my existence. Ever since she figured out my sexuality before I did, she’s been insufferable. I love her to pieces, of course, but she’s so…smug.
“Mar!” It’s as if my thoughts have conjured her, shouting from the living room. “Get your gay ass out here, let’s watch a movie!”
