“I can look,” he said with a small grin. “It’s everything else that’s off limits.”
He saideverythinglike he’d given what could happen between us a lot of thought.
“Seriously, though,” Marc said, sobering, “you could get in a lot of trouble.”
“Just me?” I asked, wondering if he’d be forgiven for fraternizing.
“I’d be disciplined, probably reassigned, but it would be worse for you because you’d be in breach of contract.”
“Of course it would.” My body slumped. “It’s always worse for women like me.”
Marc said nothing and the silence stretched out, adding to my already bad mood. I’d thought talking to Trevor would help, but all it had done was remind me that nearly everything had been stolen from me, making me angrier than ever. Then I’d come out here with Marc, hoping for a distraction, and found out that once again, I was being held to a different standard.
“Can you call people?” I blurted, wanting to know how far all this went.
“What?” Marc feigned ignorance, but I’d caught him off guard and it didn’t look real.
“Of course,” I said bitterly. “You guys are set up in some of the villas, right? You probably have WIFI and cable there, too. Probably even cell service.”
His cheeks flushed. “Not cell service.”
“But you have everything else.” I gave a bitter laugh. “I’m not surprised but that doesn’t mean I’m not pissed. We’re so cut off. So secluded. It’s like we’re criminals.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I slumped against the wall. “It’s not your fault.”
Silence once again settled over us, but I broke it after a few seconds. “I guess I should go in. So I don’t in trouble, I mean.”
“I guess so,” he replied.
He offered me a regretful smile as he fished in his pocket, retrieving a pack of cigarettes. I’d never been a big smoker, only socially, but like everything else he could do that was off limits to me, I couldn’t help being jealous. I also knew I needed to get out of here before he started smoking.
“See you around, Marc,” I said.
“See you around, Ara,” he replied, then stuck a cigarette between his lips and lit it.
When this was over, I was going to take up smoking. At least for a little bit.
It wasno surprise that our group counseling session was as much of a joke here as it had been back home, but that Hilary was leading it now made it doubly frustrating. Especially because she refused to even discuss Ginger’s absence.
“But where is she?” Malika insisted when Hilary brushed our questions aside.
We were gathered outside on one of the patio areas, since Hilary said the fresh air would do us good. It was bordered by trees whose limbs shaded us from the sun, and we had a perfect view of the mountains, which should have been relaxing because it was so breathtaking. It wasn’t, though.
“As I’ve said,” Hilary replied, “Ginger was moved to a different location. She’s safe, and where she is now is much better not just for her, but for everyone else as well.” Our minder pinned me with a serious look. “We don’t need that kind of negativity when things are already so hard.”
Bette, who sat beside me in a dinged up wooden chair, gnawed on her lip while Malika scowled. Ivy, who looked like she was trying to curl in on herself with as slumped as she was, said nothing. She didn’t even look up. She just stared at her hands andstayed silent.
“Anyway,” Hilary said, clearly wanting to change the subject. “Let’s talk about how the transition has been for you so far and what you can do to make it easier.”
Apparently, Hilary’s idea of a discussion was her talking at us while we sat in silence, because she droned on for the next hour with barely a pause between sentences. Not that any of us cared. I had no interest in pretending and I was totally freaked out by Ginger’s disappearance. I wasn’t stupid and neither was anyone else. She’d gotten sent to one of the prison hospitals. But what had she done to get sent away?
Thirty-Four
It was easy to get into a routine at the Stanley because, like everything else in my life, I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. I checked my wristband in the morning when it chimed, ate breakfast with a very pregnant Bette, did my work shift, attended meetings and appointments, killed time in one of the entertainment areas either watching movies or playing games, ate meals, and went to bed every night at the same time so I could start it all over again the next day. The time passed so quickly that before I knew it, we’d been at the hotel for a little over a week. It was on the ninth day as I was getting dressed and my wristband dinged that things once again changed.
FERTILE.FERTILE.FERTILE.
