My friend turned into an empty row, her blue eyes wide as they skimmed the other women.
I took a seat next to her, knowing it was useless to try to get a row to myself. Davis had said others would be arriving soon, and the thought of sitting beside a stranger wasn’t welcome. My emotions were too raw, my confusion too stark, and my worry too great to make small talk.
The other women in our group took seats, and some of the originals moved so they were sitting beside one another, obviously having the same thought I had. Hilary stood at the front of the plane, talking with a handful of women older than us. Other fertility counselors, no doubt. There were four in total, telling me three other counties were present. Greene and Montgomery, and probably Clark as well. What other counties would be represented by the time we left? Maybe Shelby, which was farther north and explained why it was taking them longer to arrive. Possibly others. I wasn’t sure.
Quiet conversation filled the plane, but Bette and I remained silent. She ran her hand over her round stomach, her expression pinched with worry. Had she considered that she might not be able to go home after the baby was born? Would she care?
She didn’t love her husband even though she loved the life he’d given her, and while he loved that she was beautiful and one of the few women who could give him a baby, I thought that might be as far as his affection went. He would definitely be furious if she wasn’t allowed to return home, though, and I didn’t think she’d be happy about it either.
About twenty minutes after climbing onto the plane,commotion became audible from outside. The women sitting around me began to shift, and silence settled over the group. Minutes ticked by, and we could hear voices but no words, and I imagined yet another group of fertile women lining up for tests.
The anticipation inside the plane was palpable by the time footsteps pounded against the stairs. The first woman appeared a few seconds later. She looked around as she moved farther into the plane, fear radiating from her. Her face was red and splotchy from crying, her blue eyes swollen and red, and even with the mask on, I could tell she was barely out of her teens.
Behind her, more women climbed onto the plane. Their expressions were a mirror of the first woman’s, but they were all different ages and races, and only two were obviously pregnant.
There were seven in the group, not including the fertility counselor, who entered last and immediately made a beeline for the others. Even though they were in charge, they looked as morose as the rest of us, but I had no sympathy for them. They were as much prison guards as the soldiers were.
A few minutes after the last woman stepped onto the plane, more footsteps sounded, and the soldiers appeared. Five total, but only one was familiar. Ramirez glanced around as he moved to an empty row at the front of the plane, his gaze briefly stopping on me before he took a seat. I was oddly comforted by his presence even though I didn’t know if it would matter.
Seconds later, the door was pulled shut and the fertility counselors settled in. Looked like Ramirez was the only soldier from our group who would accompany us.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” a masculine voice said over the loudspeaker, “this is your captain speaking. We’ll be taking off shortly, so please fasten your belts and remain seated until you’re told it’s safe to move about the cabin. Flight time is expected to be a little less than four hours, and since the weather looks clear, I don’t expect any turbulence. Thanks, and have a good flight.”
“Four hours,” I said, trying to imagine how far away that was and where we might end up.
How long had the trip to California been? Longer, I was sure of that. So, we weren’t going that far, but it didn’t tell me muchabout where we might be headed. Which was so frustrating I could have screamed.
When the plane moved a few seconds after the announcement, Bette grabbed my hand.
I gave hers a comforting squeeze. “It will be okay.”
She nodded, but her wide eyes said she didn’t believe it.
Even though her grip hurt, I allowed her to hold on to my hand as the pilot maneuvered the plane, my focus on the window. Large military jets were visible in the distance, as well as hangars much like the one we’d just pulled out of. They disappeared from sight when the plane turned, and the runway briefly came into view before we made yet another turn.
The tires bumped along the runway as the plane increased in speed, and Bette’s grip on my hand tightened while my stomach twisted into knots. My mind was a whirlwind of questions and memories. Me sitting on a plane ten years ago, alone and scared and unsure what I would face when I reached my destination, my stomach roiling.
It wasn’t all that different from how I felt now except the alone part. The realization was a comfort despite my continued dread, and as the plane lifted off – pulling a squeak of fright from Bette – I shifted my focus from the window to the dozens of other women on the plane. No, I wasn’t alone. These women were in the same position as I was, and we could be allies. What that meant, I wasn’t sure, since the next phase was totally unknown, but whatever happened, whatever we faced, we would be in it together. We could support one another, lean on one another, and, if necessary, fight for one another.
Once Bette releasedmy aching hand, I decided to try to get some sleep. I spent the next few hours alternating between restlessness and a hazy, half-conscious state in which I was plagued by strange dreams about strange places. In some, I was at whatI thought was supposed to be the farm, but I didn’t know for sure since it was cloaked in shadows and utterly silent. In another, I followed Hilary through the Department of Fertility, the halls twisting and turning while she walked faster and faster, forcing me to run to keep up. Finally, and thankfully, I fell into a dreamless sleep only to jerk awake when a chime sounded.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we will be making our descent into Buckley Air Force Base,” the pilot announced. “Please fasten your seatbelts and remain seated until we’ve landed and come to a complete stop.”
Bette turned to me. “Where’s that?”
“I don’t know. Wright-Patt is the only Air Force Base I know.”
A woman in the window seat across the aisle leaned forward so she could see around her equally confused seat mate. “It’s in Colorado.”
“Colorado?” Bette muttered while I turned to face my window.
I could tell the plane was making its descent, but so far, nothing but clouds were visible. They were thick and white and seemed to go on forever, engulfing the plane like the terrifying mist in Stephen King’s famous novel. It made me shiver, imagining creatures hiding in the misty whiteness, waiting to attack. Even worse was imagining that nothing lay below the clouds. That we would descend lower and lower but never escape.
Much to my relief, the plane broke through the clouds only seconds after the horrible thought entered my head.
An expansive city was visible in the distance, large mountains beyond that. They were so far away, and so imposing because I knew how massive they had to be if I was able to see them from here, and despite my growing unease about the situation, I couldn’t help feeling a little in awe. I’d never seen mountains before, had never thought I would.
“What do you see?” Bette asked, leaning closer to me.
