“I don’t know for sure what’s going to happen next,” I continued, “but whatever it is, it won’t be good for me. Which is why you can’t come here ever again.”
Marc blinked and his mouth fell open, but he recovered quickly. “What? Why would you say that?”
“Because in the government’s eyes, I’ve committed treason. I’m a traitor, Marc. An enemy of the state. You can’t get caught sneaking in to see me. Before all this, things would have been bad if anyone found out about us, but it’s so much worse now.You would go to jail for sure, and probably for a long, long time. I don’t want that for you. Don’t want you to pay for the things I’ve done.”
“Ara,” he said, holding my hand tighter, “I can’t just walk away from you. I won’t.”
“You have to,” I whispered when emotion clogged my throat. “Going to jail is going to be awful. Horrible. But if I had to live with the knowledge that my actions sent you to jail as well, it would be twice as bad. I can’t live with that on my conscience, Marc. Don’t make me.”
“I can’t just walk away from you,” he said again.
“You have to. We don’t have another choice.”
He stared at me, his jaw clenched as he held my hand, thinking it through. Probably, he was trying to come up with another solution, but it was useless. There was nothing we could do.
“We have to leave,” he said after a few minutes of silence. “We have to get out of here.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am.” Marc’s grip on my hand tightened, grinding my bones together. “We’ll run away. Before you have the baby. We can do it, Ara. No one even knows we’re together, so they wouldn’t expect it.”
I sighed to let him know how useless I thought it was, but wanting to play along for a little bit asked, “And where would we go?”
“Canada,” he said without hesitation.
I wasn’t surprised since he’d already brought it up, but I couldn’t rein in my incredulity when I said, “Canada? That’s what, a thousand miles away?”
Honestly, the distance was the least of my doubts, but I thought it might be the one thing that could get through to him.
I was wrong.
“A little less,” he said, his tone stubborn.
“And how would we get there, Marc?” I challenged. “Walk?”
“We’ll steal a truck. Drive overnight. It’s far, but in a car, it will take half a day. We can do it, Ara. I know we can.”
“They’ll come after us,” I said. “I’m pregnant. I’m a traitor. They won’t just let me go.”
“We can do it,” he said firmly. “Will you try? If I find a way, will you risk it?”
Hope shimmered in his eyes, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t conjure up any for myself. This was the most hopeless situation I could imagine. Still, what did it hurt if I said yes? Nothing. I was already going to jail, most likely forever, so why not let him cling to this impossible dream?
The odds that Marc would be able to come up with a plan were slim to none, which I had to face reality. My son would be taken from me and then my freedom. Marc, though, was free. And I needed to make sure it stayed that way.
“I’ll try under one stipulation.”
“What is it?” he asked.
“That you promise that if you can’t come up with a plan, that if you can’t figure out a way to get us out of here, you’ll stay away from me.”
“Ara, no,” he began.
I cut him off. “I’m serious, Marc. I don’t want you going to prison for me, so you have to promise.”
He hesitated, but it didn’t take long for him to say, “Fine. I promise.”
“Good.” I let out a long breath then got to my feet, pulling him with me. “Now, let’s take what little time we have left to say goodbye.”
