“Good,” the soldier said. “Now I’m going to move, and you’re going to stand, and you’re going to remain calm. Understand?”
“Yes,” I whined.
He shifted his weight, freeing me, then yanked me to my feet. It hurt to have my arms behind my back, but it was nothing compared to the pain in my heart. It felt like it was being ripped to shreds and I was pretty sure that after this, it would never be the same.
Hours had passedsince I’d been brought to solitary. It was just a room in one of the hotel’s several villas and wasn’t much different from where I’d been staying for the last six months. Although the mirror had been removed from the bathroom, which I assumed was to prevent anyone from trying to slit their wrists.
Despite how unobtrusive the room was, I knew I’d entered awhole different ball game. From now on, I would be cut off from everyone. There would be no distracting myself with movies or cards or the piano, and no nights with Marc. I would stay here, night and day, week after week, until I gave birth, and then my baby would be taken from me. After that, I would go to prison.
No one had told me the last part, but they didn’t need to. I’d been a problem since entering the program, and now I’d attacked Hilary. There was no coming back from this, but that wasn’t even the worst of it. The worst was knowing my baby would be out there in the world and I would never see him. Would never get to hold him. Would never get to be his mom.
Curled up on the bed, I cried for everything the Department of Fertility had stolen from me and the things they still planned to take. Everything. That was what they were going to take. Every inch of who I was or who I could have been. All of it would be gone, and then I would be just a shell of a person.
Time passed, and no one came to check on me. Dinnertime must have come and gone, and yet I hadn’t been brought food. Despite how sick I felt over everything that had happened, my stomach growled angrily, but there was nothing I could do about it. Even if I’d been stupid enough to try to leave this room, I couldn’t because, unlike the one I’d inhabited before, this one had a lock on the outside.
I’d known I wouldn’t be left alone forever – they couldn’t starve me since I was pregnant – but I was still startled when a click finally sounded, indicating someone was unlocking the door. I pushed myself to a sitting position, and even though I doubted it would help, wiped my hands across my damp cheeks. My eyes were sore from crying and my nose was a snotty mess, but I wanted to at least try to cover up how much I was hurting. They had enough power over me already.
I expected a soldier or even the head minder, Shelly, but to my shock, Hilary pushed the door open.
She looked awful. Her nose was bandaged but obviously swollen. It was black and blue, as was the skin under her left eye, and she had a bruise on her forehead I didn’t even remember giving her. Not that I recalled much of my outburst. It had beenlike an out of body experience. Like I was watching someone else beat the hell out of Hilary.
My minder stopped just inside the door, her expression both weary and furious. “I brought your dinner.” She indicated the tray in her hand. “I’ll set it down, but I want you to keep your distance. Do you understand?”
“I’m not going to hurt you again,” I said.
She didn’t look like she believed me.
I remained on the bed, watching as she moved to the only table in the room. Her eyes darted from it to me, the expression in them reminding me of a wild animal being stalked. She didn’t need to worry. My anger had faded, leaving only misery behind.
When she’d set the tray down, she turned to face me. “You are now considered in breach of contract, which means you’ve committed treason. Your meals will be brought to you by either myself or someone else. When you need to see the doctor, he will come here unless there is a medical emergency. If and only if that happens, you are to knock on the door to get someone’s attention and you will be escorted to the clinic. Cuffed, of course.”
“Cuffed?” I asked, shocked that they’d go that far.
Yes, I’d attacked a woman, but I was no match for armed soldiers. Hell, even if they didn’t have guns, there was nothing I could do against them. The way the soldier had slammed me to the ground was proof of that.
“You’re lucky you’re not going to one of the Department of Fertility hospitals, Miss Murphy,” Hilary snapped. “If the state of the world was different, you would be. Believe me. I warned you this would happen, and you were given chance after chance.Youchose this, so don’t act surprised that you’re now facing the consequences of your actions.”
“I didn’t choose this.” Apparently, there was some fight left in me. Although not much. “I was forced to be here. Forced to be in this program. I didn’t want any of this in the beginning, and the moment I decided I did, you took it away from me. How has any of that been my choice?”
“So ungrateful. So selfish. It’s honestly not a surprise you’ve ended up here. I had you pegged as a problem from day one.It still blows my mind, however, that you can’t understand that you’ve done this to yourself. All you had to do was cooperate and things would have turned out okay.”
“Would it have? I don’t see how when the government has the right to change the terms whenever they feel like it. Why even make me sign a contract when it means literally nothing?”
“I don’t have the energy for this,” Hilary muttered, then to me said, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Miss Murphy. Do try to get some rest for the sake of the baby, will you?”
Not waiting for a response, she marched to the door and ripped it open.
The click of the lock being engaged sounded a second after it had been pulled shut.
For a moment, I stayed where I was, thinking about the weeks ahead. Twenty of them. All spent in this room. Alone. Then they would take my baby and lock me up. I’d never see Marc again, or Trevor. Never go back to my apartment. I’d committed treason by wanting to keep my own baby and was now considered a traitor. Once they locked me up, they would probably throw away the key.
It was enough to make me want to burst into tears all over again.
Since I had plenty of time to wallow in my sadness, I decided to eat. I was ravenous. So hungry that even the congealed gravy my Salisbury steak was floating in didn’t turn my stomach.
Forty-Four
Two days passed, and I saw no one but Hilary. She came at mealtime, gave me food, took my used tray, and lectured me. I stopped listening after the first day and never replied but my silence did nothing to deter her. I was pretty sure she just liked to hear herself talk.
