Tears filled my eyes, but I forced out a smile. “This is getting to be a habit with me.” I wiped the moisture from my cheeks. “You wouldn’t know it based on how I’ve acted since we met, but I’m actually a very strong person.”
“I believe you,” he said, his tone soothing. “I can tell you’re strong.”
“Not strong enough.”
He pressed his lips together like he was trying to figure out what to say, but apparently unable to come up with something, finally leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes, and leaned into him when his arms went around me. He smelled good. Outdoorsy like the mountain air. I wasn’t sure if it was his soap or if he’d been on duty outside, but I liked it. It reminded me of earlier in the janitor’s closet, of having his lips on mine, of our bodies moving together, and despite everything else, I suddenly wanted him again.
He clearly felt it too, because soon he was kissing his way down my face. My temple, my cheek, the corner of my mouth. Then his lips covered mine, and just like that, I forgot all the horrible things happening in the world. I kissed him back, blocked everything else out, and focused on him. On his mouth, his hands on my body, on how being with him made me feel.
Unlike before, this time wasn’t rushed. We savored being together, explored one another, got to know each other. What we were doing was still just as risky since anyone could come looking for us, but I wouldn’t let myself dwell on that. Wouldn’t let myself worry. Wouldn’t let myself think about anything but Marc.
When we were finished, we curled up together under the sheets. My head on his chest, my ear pressed against his heart while he held me, his hand moving lazily up and down my arm like we didn’t have a care in the world.
“When this is all over,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, “I want you to meet my mom. She’d like you. Would like how strong you are.”
I bit back a smile even though he couldn’t see my face. I’d never met the family of anyone I’d dated. Had never wanted to get that close to a person. I’d thought it was normal, had thought I was okay with how my life was going. I’d been wrong. I just hadn’t met the right person.
“I’d like that,” I managed to get out.
Marc pressed his lips to the top of my head, and I closed my eyes. We’d have to leave soon, have to return to the real world, but for just a little longer, I wanted it to be just the two of us.
Thirty-Eight
Igot my period the next morning.
Even though the pregnancy test had been negative, getting confirmation was still a huge relief. It also had me thinking about Marc and the program and what could happen. There was more than a fifty percent chance that he was fertile, which meant that if things continued like this – and I had no desire to stop them – I could very well get pregnant with his baby. It was something I hadn’t let myself think about before crossing that line, mostly because I’d wanted to focus on my actions and not the consequences, but it was a reality I couldn’t ignore forever.
Had he considered what could happen? I had no idea, and after a little bit of thought, decided not to bring it up. At least for the time being. I wanted to live in the cocoon of solitude we’d created in room 417 as long as we could. Forever, if we could manage it.
Bette didn’t answer the door when I knocked, so I headed down to breakfast without her. Marc was once again in the dining room, which had me wondering if he’d swapped shifts so he could see me, and I made a mental note to ask him when we met later. Because I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that we would meet.
In the absence of Bette, I ate alone. I hadn’t really made any other connections since being here, although I did have a few acquaintances. Women I knew by name and made small talk with. Then there was Malika, who I would almost call a friend,but who, like me, seemed to want to keep to herself. That was all, though, and it was fine. I wasn’t a very social person, and Bette had been enough to start with, then Marc had come into my life. They were all I needed.
After eating, I reported for cleanup duty, but immediately noticed Vic was once again missing. I wondered if they’d found out they were fertile and were at the clinic, or possibly even pregnant already and sick. We didn’t talk about the program, the topic was too depressing, but I suddenly wished we had. If for no other reason than to reassure myself that their absence was nothing to worry about.
Despite typically going out of my way to avoid Minder Jane, I let my curiosity get the better of me halfway through cleanup and asked her about it.
“Vic?” she said, repeating the name like she’d never heard it. “Oh. You mean Victoria. She’s under the weather today.”
I ground my teeth at Jane’s intentional use of the wrong pronoun but chose not to bring it up. There was no point because she wouldn’t listen, and the woman already hated me. I was pretty sure she and Hilary got together every night to drink wine and bitch about how awful I was.
Jane waved to the pile of dirty dishes I’d been loading. “I suggest you focus on your work instead of other people, Miss Murphy. What’s going on with Victoria is really none of your concern.”
Again, I had to bite my tongue. I really despised this woman.
Like the day before, Marc found me in the kitchen at the end of my shift. Unfortunately, Jane was hanging around, for some annoying reason, and I wasn’t alone, so I kept my head down and my focus on my work.
“Is there something you need, Corporal Ramirez?” Jane asked.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him look around as if searching for something, then direct his most charming smile toward my minder. “I was hoping to grab a cup of coffee.”
Not at all disarmed by his dimpled grin, Jane frowned. “Don’t the soldiers have coffee in their break room?”
“We do,” Marc said, trying to sound sheepish, “but the guys make it, and it usually either tastes like tar or burnt water. Not like what you make.” As if letting my minder in on a secret, Marc leaned closer and in a low voice said, “The coffee is why I keep trading shifts so I’m on breakfast duty.”
For the first time since arriving at the Stanley, Jane actually smiled. The sight was so shocking that I froze in the middle of wiping the counters. I really hadn’t thought she was capable of such an action.
“Well, that’s no good, is it? We can’t have our brave soldiers suffering like that!” She suddenly sounded like a flirty teenager, which made me want to hurl. “Lucky for you, we keep the coffee going all day, and I just made a fresh pot.”
