Not for the first time since I started this meeting, I got the feeling that the child I could potentially give birth to would be the property of the government no matter where it ended up. Did that mean if I chose to keep the baby, I would be as well? It wasn’t that far-fetched. They’d commandeered my uterus, after all. Why not take my life after my duty had been fulfilled as well?
“Now we get to the part most people aren’t familiar with,” Hilary was saying. “During your fertility assessment on your seventeenth birthday, it was confirmed that you were one of the lucky fertile ones.”
Lucky? She had to be joking.
“But being fertile doesn’t exactly guarantee you’ll get pregnant the old-fashioned way.” She put a paper in front of me that was heavy with words. “Which is why you should be aware that there are some instances where fertility drugs might be needed. If you aren’t ovulating regularly, or if your time in the program is unsuccessful.”
I shook my head, confused and trying to clear it. “What do you mean?”
“The doctors use intrauterine insemination, or IUI, to place the sperm directly into the uterus. You will take some medication beforehand, but as long as you’re ovulating regularly and the doctor sees healthy follicles, you won’t need fertility drugs right away,” Hilary explained. “After all, you’re fertile, and there’s always the chance you’ll conceive without any enhancements.”
Enhancements? She meant drugs. Which didn’t make sense.
“I thought everyone who went through artificial insemination needed drugs.”
“In the old days, yes.”
Again, she gave me a smile that at first had appeared so genuine but now just looked practiced, and I had to wonderif she was an actress rather than a counselor.
“Back then,” she continued, “only couples who found it impossible to conceive the natural way went through artificial insemination. But you’re fertile!” She said it like I’d been given an award and she wanted to recognize me for it. “And the truth is, you could very well get pregnant without the aid of drugs.”
Could?Hadwas what she should have said, but of course, she didn’t know that.
“Do you have any questions?” Hilary asked.
I had a million, but most I would never voice, so instead I asked, “How often will I be inseminated?”
She smiled like this was a question she approved of. “Every three months. That gives us enough time to make sure you haven’t conceived, allows you to take a breath, and gives us time to schedule the next procedure.”
Every three months? I quickly did the math. Three years in the program. That was four times a year. Twelve times total if I didn’t conceive. Holy shit. I’d had no idea it would be that often.
“That’s a lot,” I managed to get out.
Hilary’s mouth morphed into a sympathetic yet practiced smile. “I know it’s overwhelming, but the doctors employed by the Department of Fertility have mapped out a plan that takes both the country and the women involved into consideration, and this is the best route. I promise.”
I swallowed, tried to organize my thoughts. “And what about multiples?”
Hilary’s brows rose, but the innocent expression didn’t hide the surprise in her brown eyes. Apparently, not many women asked her this.
“Multiple births?” she asked, feigning ignorance. Not very convincingly.
“Yes,” I replied. “I’ve done my research, and I know that in the past, fertility treatments could lead to multiples. Twins. Triplets. More.”
I cringed thinking about the stories I’d read. The woman who’d given birth to six babies all the way back in 2004 and later went on to have a reality show, which seemed almost as insaneas what I was doing at this very moment. Then there was the woman who had eight babies in 2009, dubbed the Octomom by the press. Then there was the Malian woman who’d given birth to nine babies in 2021 after thinking she was only pregnant with seven. That was after the first major pandemic, which clearly hadn’t affected fertility or birth rates. Or maybe it had and that was why the Malian woman had needed fertility treatments. I didn’t know, I just knew I’d read too many stories about women giving birth to more kids than I could even fathom. Especially considering I’d never wanted to be a mother in the first place.
Hilary took a moment to prepare her reply by pretending she was organizing the papers on the coffee table, and when she responded, she wasn’t looking at me. “As you know, abortion is now illegal, which makes sense considering the dire circumstances the world is currently facing.” She lifted the stack and tapped the papers against the desk, making sure they were uniform before going on. “Selective reduction is also illegal since it’s just a fancy term doctors used to abort babies. If a multiple pregnancy occurs, we do our best to make sure the mother is healthy, but as in everything these days, the babies will be our priority.”
Which meant my life would be sacrificed to save babies I’d never even chosen to have.
I was rendered speechless.
Six
Either not noticing my shock or pretending not to, Hilary continued with the meeting. “The next thing we need to discuss is when we’re going to kick things off.”
Her smile was bright and in such opposition to the horror twisting through me that I had the sudden urge to scream, and I clenched my jaw to hold in the bitter words roiling through me.
I felt like I had to unscrew it so I could ask, “It won’t be right away?”
