“Oh, yikes.”
“Exactly. It’s criminal.”
Jordan drops his head back against the wall. “Okay. So. Something to know about me? Sometimes I crash after socializing. It can last a day or more. I never know.”
“Crash?”
“Depression,” he says simply. “The darkness, it… it just swallows me, Miles. Like a cloud. It literally chokes me. Even if I had a good time, it just—I don’t know. Sucks me dry. I can’t explain it. And when that happens, I just…” He shrugs.
“You don’t have energy to talk,” I say, thinking of the time he’d stayed quiet on the video call.
He nods. “I fucking hate it.”
I let out a breath. “And that’s what happened? You crashed after the day with your friends? I was worried I messed up.”
“You didn’t, and I’m sorry I didn’t communicate. Tuesday was our quarterly poetry night at work, and we were busy as hell. So between my friends on Monday, and then that… I just kinda drowned. Anyway. I’m sorry. It wasn’t you.”
I let out a breath. “O-okay. Good.”
He kisses Clematis. “What are you doing tonight?”
I lift the skein of yarn. “I was going to work on the owl again.”
“You’re not done yet?”
“I’m very close, actually. You want to see?’
“Of course.”
I tap the button to flip cameras. “It’s not stuffed yet. I’ll do that once I’m done with the legs. But look! Isn’t it cute? I even added sequins to the wings.”
“Holy shit. That’s impressive. Makes my mice look like… well, mice.”
I laugh. “The fact that they look like mice at all, and not a turd with a tail, is a good thing.”
He laughs softly. “Guess so.”
Jordan is quiet for a moment, petting Clematis, so I pull the printed pattern out and find where I left off. After seeing Ruth this evening, I am more determined than ever to get it done.
“How is she?” Jordan asks.
“Ruth? She’s doing good. I think she’ll be discharged tomorrow, which is why I’m trying to finish this.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah.”
“Want me to let you go?”
“Nope.” I flash him a smile. “I’ve missed you, so you get to keep me company no matter how boring it is.”
He snickers, but his eyes lighten, like my words mean something.
In the time that Jordan and I have been chatting online, he’s quickly become one of my favorite people.
“How about you? What are you doing tonight?” I ask.
“Well, I was going to show you something I got in the mail today, but if you’re crocheting, I might not.”
