After hanging a new IV, I touch her shoulder. “It’s time for me to go. But I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?”
She catches my hand. “Our problems always seem silly the further we get from them, and sometimes, if we go too far, it’s too late to fix it. Don’t let it come between you, whatever it is.”
There is nothing silly about potentially pushing the guy I like to masturbate with me over the phone, especially with his history. I should’ve asked again, made sure he was okay with it.
The rawness in her tone catches my attention though, like she’s cracking open the window to her soul just a little.
“Is that what happened with your daughter?” I ask gently. “Did you let something come between you?”
Ruth looks away. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t call her now.”
I gasp. “Ruth! You haven’t even called her?”
“How can I? It’s been thirteen years!”
I take her hand. “You pick up the phone, and you call. That’s how. I’m sure she would love to hear from you.”
Ruth doesn’t reply.
I squeeze her hand. “Get some rest, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Ruth’s comment lingers in my mind. When I get back to my hotel room, I kick off my shoes and sink onto the bed. Lily immediately jumps off to go to the window.
“Still mad at me, then?” It makes my heart ache. “I can’t handle it if you’re both mad at me, you know.”
Sighing, I pull my phone out and type out a message to Jordan.
Me:Be honest. Did I push you too far on Monday? You’ve been so quiet since then, and I just… IDK. I’m worried I messed up.
It’s a long few minutes before my phone buzzes with a reply.
Jordan:You did push me, Miles, but I needed it. We’re okay. Give me a min to finish eating, and I’ll call you.
That just makes me feel worse. What does that even mean? That he needed it? It makes no sense.
Settling back on the bed, I wait for him to call. When he does, I greet him with a tight-lipped smile. It’s all I can manage.
I hear the crack of a can being opened as he greets me. “Hey.” Jordan’s hair is tied back as he takes a swig of Pepsi. “Have a good day?”
I shrug. “Mostly. You?”
“Eh.”
There is so much emotion in that single word, it makes my heart stop. He isn’t happy. Not like the last time we talked. Are we really okay?
The camera shifts as he walks through his house. He stops in his bathroom, then continues to his bedroom. “Shit, I meant to change. Give me a sec.”
He tosses his phone on the bed for a moment, and when he comes back, he’s no longer wearing a shirt. My attention is drawn to the leather cord around his neck, where a circular emblem of some kind rests above his sternum. I hear a soft meow before white fur blocks the screen as he settles himself on his bed. Jordan turns the camera to show Clematis against his chest.
“Say hi, pretty girl,” he says.
Clematis does not seem thrilled to be forced to socialize. Still, it softens the tension in my chest.
“Cutie pies. Both of you,” I say weakly. “Lily is currently in the window. I think she’s daydreaming of running away.”
Jordan snorts. “She wouldn’t. She loves you.”
“I don’t know. I forgot to pick up canned food when I went to the store yesterday, so all she has is kibble. She hasn’t forgiven me.”
