18
Reyes
Practice on Tuesday was canceled, due to a heavy storm, and I ended up sitting on the front porch listening to it for a couple hours. Iloveda good rainstorm. Loved the feel of it and the smell after the rain died down. Loved the pressure change and how it made my body feel different. It was one of those weird things I craved, and today I needed it. I was beyond restless.
My family’s constant badgering was getting out of control, and the last few attempts I’d made to try to talk to them were pointless, ending all too abruptly with no real change. Ma still seemed to think I was heading back to Mexico soon, despite both me and Des telling her otherwise. I didn’t know how to get through to them.
And then there was my job. I only had a few more weeks at the clinic, but I still didn’t have anything else lined up. I hadn’t even bothered to look at any other jobs since I came here, because I still had no idea what I wanted to do. What was as equally unsettling as not having any answers was the pain that settled in my chest whenever I thought about leaving Reedsport. I wasn’t sure Iwantedto anymore. I liked the privacy I had here, and I enjoyed spending time with Rome again. Coaching for HotShots had filled a hole in a much bigger way than I’d expected, but I also suspected a big reason I didn’t want to leave was because of Jake. I just wasn’t ready for my time with him to be over.
Through the pouring rain, I heard my phone ringing from somewhere inside and trudged in to see who it was. I’d expected it to be Mia or Ma again, or maybe even Jake, so I was surprised to see my cousin Max’s name on the screen. It had to be the middle of the night in his corner of the world.
“Hey!” I greeted him.
“Primo!It’s been too long.”
“Way too long.”
He yawned. “I’m going to be honest. Mia made me call. She’s been texting me daily, saying you’re acting weird.”
I cursed my nosy sister under my breath. “Mia’s just worried. You know how she gets.”
“Yeah. Well, I am too, CJ.” I cringed a little at my name. He knew I preferred Rey, so using my real name meant business. “You’ve been leaving me weird messages, and if work hadn’t been keeping me so damn busy, I would have called you earlier. But I’m heading to Venezuela tomorrow, so things should slow down a little bit.”
“Yeah?”
“I hope so.”
“Still working for the same four travel blogs?” I asked.
“Three. I dropped one.” He groaned. “Gotta tell ya, traveling is not what I thought it would be.”
I laughed. “You get to experience the world, dumbass. Not many people can say that. Enjoy it.”
“Well, it’s not so fun when I don’t have time to actuallyseethe places I’m in before running off to the next destination. Anyway. Talk to me,” Max encouraged. “What’s going on, Rey?”
I sighed, sinking down in the couch with one foot propped on the table. My knee ached, so I dug a thumb into the tissue and massaged around the joint. “It’s over,” I said.
“What do you mean? What’s over?”
“My career. They let me go.”
My cousin let out a long, slow breath. “I’d hoped that was just a mistake,” he said. “I saw your name was missing from the website, but… they really let you go?”
“Sí.”
“What happened?”
Those two words, laced with so much empathy and concern, opened a floodgate I was helpless to resist. All my heartache and anger poured out, knowing I didn’t need to mask my emotions. Max had been my best friend since we were kids. He understood me in a way very few people did. He knew how my brain worked, what my triggers were, and how I would react, so he wasn’t at all offended this was the first he was hearing about being let go from the team. He just understood.
Max and Des had been the two people I’d always shared my dreams with growing up. They were the two people I came out to first when I realized I was gay. But it had been Max who I’d confided in about wanting to win the World Cup, and to this day, I still hadn’t forgotten his response. He hadn’t laughed in my face as I’d expected. Instead, he’d helped me formulate goals, pushed me harder at practice, and made me believe it was something I could achieve. Max was a big reason why I tried out for Mexico. So it went without saying that he understood how significant this loss was for me, and he grieved it on almost as deep of a level as I did.
It was when our conversation turned back to my family that I truly felt validated. As soon as I told him how blatantly ignorant my family was being about it, a slew of harsh words slipped from his lips. Max almost never cursed, so hearing that felt really damn good. It was probably what comforted me the most because it reminded me I wasn’t alone. Max had my back in this, just as he always did. And god, how I fucking needed that reminder. Finally,someoneunderstood what I was going through. Des had at least heard me, but he hadn’t understood my loss the way Max did. He seemed more annoyed than anything, as if it was my fault somehow, that our parents weren’t listening. But Max knew, which meant I finally had a pillar of support in my chaotic, confusing world… even if he was on the other side of the world.
Anotherpillar, I corrected myself. Jake had understood too. I’d felt his support in this just as much when I confided in him.
“So, what are you going to do?” Max asked after several minutes of outrage and sorrow.
“No idea,” I admitted.
