16
Jake
My heart raced as I looked around the small house for my team, desperate for someone to step in and help. My officers and the captain were standing against the wall, unyielding.
“HELP HER!” I screamed.
My hands slipped in the thick, sticky blood pouring down the woman’s throat and a chill ran down my spine when I realized how cold she was. Too cold. Far too cold.
“We need to help her!” I tried again.
“Jake!” I heard someone call, and I looked over my shoulder, thankfulsomeonewas going to help me try to save this woman’s life. But no one had moved. Sorrow and pity filled their eyes, and somehow, I knew it wasn’t for the woman in my arms, but for me.
“Do something!” I screamed again.
“JAKE!” the voice said again, this time more urgent. The ground beneath me shifted and a moment later my shoulders shook. “Jake, wake up!”
I reached for the woman, refusing to leave her, but her body was fading into nothingness right before my eyes. “NO!”
“Jake, baby, wake up! You’re okay!”
I opened my eyes, surprised to see Reyes hovering over me, eyes wide with alarm.
“You’re okay,” he repeated in a softer tone. It took me a moment to realize I’d been dreaming.
His hands were still gripping my shoulders, and when he loosened his hold, I almost asked him not to. I didn’t want him to let go. The pain anchored me. I deserved it.
She’d died.
I hadn’t saved her.
I tore my eyes from his and wretched out from under him, stumbling off the bed and into the bathroom. I heard Reyes behind me and wasn’t at all surprised when he stopped the door from closing behind me so he could follow. I didn’t dare look at him or his reflection in the mirror. I couldn’t. Not yet. Not with her face still so fresh in my mind.
My hands still felt slick and cold from her blood as I fumbled to turn on the faucet, splashing the water against my face. The cool water did little to calm my racing heart.
Reyes didn’t say anything or push for me to speak, as I wiped my hands on the towel. He didn’t ask me to look at him, as I expected. He just came up next to me, letting me feel his presence. If it had been anyone else, I would have immediately pulled away, but his solid form next to me felt… right. Both a shield and a blanket against the darkness.
I took several measuring breaths before finally lifting my gaze to meet his in the mirror. Dark blue eyes met mine, soft and inviting, so full of concern and empathy.
“I can’t talk about what happened last night,” I said flatly.
“I know,” he said, placing a hand on my back. The warmth of his palm against my bare skin was such a stark contrast to the bitter cold I felt inside that I involuntarily shivered, leaning into it.
“Come here.”
He turned me slowly, enveloping me in his arms and I buried my face in the crook of his neck as my arms went around his waist. My hands curled into tight fists against his back and I breathed in his rich, musky scent.
I wanted to draw on his strength just as I had last night, to use him to chase away the darkness again, but I couldn’t. Not this time. The woman deserved more than that. She deserved to be remembered.
For the first time in a long time, I let my guard down, and I allowed myself to justfeel. I felt for the victim I couldn’t save. For the woman whose life was lost last night. I felt her fear, her sorrow, and her hope as she used me as an anchor in her final minute of life. And then I felt that hope vanish as her husband sliced her throat. I couldn’t suppress the shudder as I still heard her body hit the floor.
I’d failed her. And yet, no matter how many times I replayed it in my head, I couldn’t see any other outcome. There was nothing else I could have done to save her. I’d done everything right, and so had my team. I’d called for backup as soon as I saw the situation, and we’d acted immediately, but none of us had had a clear shot when we entered the house and saw the husband had taken her captive.
But fuck. Someone haddiedlast night!She’d silently reached out tometo save her and she still haddied.
Rey’s steady hand gliding up and down my back was inviting and peaceful, pulling my attention away from the past and back to the present. No one had ever been this kind of support to me, so it surprised me how easy it was to fall into his touch. It had been the same way last night. Warm. Soothing. Safe.
What is it about you?
