I leaned against the bathroom counter while Riley removed my boxers, trying not to be disappointed he didn’t even spare my morning wood a single glance. Then again, with how I felt, even a simple hand job would have been more than I could handle.
When he turned around to flip the water on, I admired his firm ass in a pair of familiar red and black boxer briefs and arched a brow. “Why are you in my underwear? Not that I mind in the slightest, but...”
He chuckled. “Because you threw up on me. Twice actually.” He gave me a small smirk. “I vastly underestimated your crazy sock collection, by the way. You havesomany! The paint splatter ones are my favorite.”
I shrugged unapologetically. “Harper got me into them. Oh fuck, Harper!” I smacked my forehead, then cursed as pain ricocheted from the contact. I felt like shit for not being there when my niece woke up. It was the only promise to her I’d ever broken.
“She’s okay,” Riley said quickly. “I ran into your sister at the hospital and she assured me Harper was okay before I left.”
His eyes were the only thing keeping the room from spinning. “How’d you know which hospital?”
“I didn’t. I just tried the first one I drove by and it happened to be the right one.”
I put a hand to his shoulder. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Riley looked away, but not before I saw a flash of something in his eyes. Worry? Anger? Annoyance? I wasn’t sure.
I let my hand slide down to his torso and ran a finger along the waistband of the briefs. “I like you in my clothes,” I admitted, leaning in for a kiss but Riley dodged me.
“I’m not touching those pretty lips of yours until you brush, mister. Really. You have no idea how awful you are right now.”
I did a quick but thorough job of brushing my teeth while we waited for the ancient water heater to do its thing. Riley seemed unable to keep from touching me, gnawing on his lip with worry as he did. It wasn’t until he stepped in behind me and wrapped both arms around my waist, hugging me tightly, that I really understood what I’d put him through. There was only one reason he was even here, one reason why he would have driven across two states to come to me. I’d scared him. My vague, panicked call in the middle of the night, combined with the unanswered calls and texts had really done a number on him. I wanted to apologize, to say he hadn’t needed to make the trip, but frankly, it meant everything that he had.
I turned in his arms and kissed his head. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Riley just tightened his hold on me in response before we both stepped into the shower. He made slow work of washing me, his gentle touch pulling me further and further out of my hangover funk. I couldn’t resist kissing him or nibbling his ear each time he came close enough, making him giggle and squirm. I was up for some sexy fun by the time he was done bathing me, but one look in his eyes and I was reminded that I wasn’t quite forgiven for my behavior yet. I still had some explaining to do.
My nose wrinkled in disgust when we finally reentered my bedroom, wearing nothing more than our underwear. Well,myunderwear.
“Oh Christ, that’s bad!”
“Told you,” he teased, pushing me quickly through the room.
“How could you sleep in there?” I asked.
“I didn’t,” he admitted. “I stayed on the couch and checked in on you every hour.”
I pouted which finally made him relax a little. We took it slow as we made our way down the hall, my hand firmly in Riley’s since I still was struggling to stay upright. My head continued to throb, and everything was still spinning a little, but luckily it wasn’t nearly as bad as when I first woke up.
We found a bottle of aspirin, a box of bagels, and a fresh bag of coffee on the counter along with a note from Jake demanding I call him. Riley couldn’t meet my eyes once he read it, but I saw the jealousy he was trying to hide. I gently turned him, putting his back to the counter, my hands on either side of him.
“About Jake,” I said, “I think I told you we met in the army and yes, we’ve slept together. For about two years actually, but it was nothing more than just trying to fill a void for both of us. I know that’s awful, Ry, and I’m not proud of it, but we were both in a dark, unhealthy place back then and I… well, it would have been a lot worse for me if he hadn’t been there. It wasn’t until we were out of the army, when westoppedsleeping together, that we actually started to become friends. That’s all he is to me, Ry. A friend. We haven’t touched each other since about six months before we were discharged. I promise.”
His face fell, but one arm closed around me. I knew it wouldn’t be that easy for him to let go of his insecurity, but I hoped he at least believed me. “Can I ask why he has a key if he’s just a friend?”
I blinked. “He has a key?”
“Yeah, he let himself in.”
That surprised me. When had I given Jake a key? Did I give him the spare when I moved in for safe keeping?
“I don’t know, I’ll have to ask him how he got it because I don’t remember giving it to him, but he hasn’t slept over or been here other than to watch the occasional game on TV. He’s just a friend. I’ve never had a boyfriend until you, if you want to know the truth.”
His head fell to my shoulder as he held me, and I barely heard his whispered, “Me either.”
I bent for a kiss, then snatched some aspirin and a bagel from the counter. Riley prepared a cup of coffee for me before coming to join me at the table. I kicked a chair out, but he ignored it and sat on my lap instead. He didn’t say anything, but the tenderness in his eyes combined with the tentative touch of his fingers in my hair revealed how concerned he was, and how much he cared. It reiterated just how in tune we were to each other, like we had our own frequency no one else could access.
It hit me then, why I’d felt so alone all these years. It wasn’t just that I missed my best friend, I’d missed a piece ofme.I had been cravingthis,this intimacy with the one person who knew me best. I’d come so close to losing it forever all because of someone who should have been supporting me. Someone who should have been helping me.
