23
BECKETT
Age 18
“So, what did you think?” Tosh said excitedly from across the table.
I took a sip from my soda, afraid to look up. I didn’t want her to see my hesitation. I knew it took a lot of time and money for her to bring me to New York to visit the college, so I felt awful saying it didn’t feel right.
“It was okay, I guess.”
“Okay?” she huffed, “I thought it was amazing! And their business program comes highly recommended!”
I finally looked at her, glaring. “I told you I’m not interested in business.”
“Oh, please.” She waved her hand. “Business is like the catchall degree. You can practically do anything with it.”
“I’m not doing business, Tosh.” I said again, more firmly.
Something caught my eye over her shoulder. Two men were walking side by side in our direction, laughing at something with their heads tossed back. They only looked a couple years apart and the taller, older of the two had his arm around the other’s waist. He leaned in to say something private to the younger man, which made him blush and lean in for a kiss, right on the mouth. They turned and held each other, deepening the kiss for several seconds.
Something about the scene moved me and gave me courage. I wondered what it would be like to kiss Riley like that.
Tosh turned to see what I was looking at and when she looked back, there was something in her eyes that had me dropping my gaze. It wasn’t shame or judgment I saw in her expression, just a knowing. As simple as me watching two men share a moment together, my sister figured out I was gay. Then again, maybe she’d known for a while.
Her smaller hand closed around mine and when I finally found the courage to look her in the eyes again, she gave me a small, reassuring smile that told me it was okay. It was such a little thing, yet it was more support than I’d felt from her in a long, long time. She might not accept that I didn’t want to move to New York or study business, but she could accept that I was gay. And that meant so much to me.
She withdrew her hand. “So, how about seeing the Statue of Liberty before we head back to the hotel?”
***
Something was very off when I woke from what had to be the longest, strangest dream of my life. I dreamt I was at the tree house when a storm rolled in and I’d fallen from halfway down the ladder, hitting my head on an upturned root. Two men were helping me, but they were two men who meant something to me for very different reasons. That’s how I knew it had to be a dream, because those men wouldn’t have been in the same place at the same time if it had been real. Not only did Riley not know Jake, but Riley wouldn’t have been at the tree house. He was back in Reedsport, with my heart.
My head felt like someone was squeezing it with a vice and my throat was surely on fire. I didn’t think I’d ever been more miserable. When I cracked an eye, I groaned at the searing light filling the small, familiar room. My bed was itchier than I remembered and something sour hit my nose when I tried to hide my face in my pillow. It took me way too long to realize it was drenched in sweat. I gagged and shoved it aside, folding my arms under me instead.
Soft fingers trailed up my spine, sending tendrils of comfort through my aching body. Warm lips grazed my shoulder moments before I heard a soothing, familiar voice.
“Hey, you.”
I forced my eyes open, blinking several times, trying to make sense of the beautiful face in front of me. I had to glance around, just to confirm that Iwasin my own apartment. Could I still be dreaming? There was no other explanation my aching brain could come up with for Riley’s presence.
He gave me a worried smile, brushing some hair from my face.
“How…?” I started to ask as dozens of images flashed in my mind. Jake and Riley carrying me to the car. Climbing down from the tree at the first strike of lightning and hitting my head on the root. Whiskey…somuch whiskey. My sister… her betrayal. Our comic book…
“Oh, fuck,” I moaned, both at the memories and physical misery I was in.
Riley ran his hand up and down my back in a soothing motion. “Think you can stand in the shower? I’ll wash you, then we can get some food. Your stomach has been protesting the abuse you put it through for a few hours now.”
“Shower? Do I smell that bad?” I asked in a voice I didn’t recognize.
“Um, yeah, you really do. You puked three times. Your friend was nice enough to clean the carpet before he left, but it’s still pretty rank in here.”
I lifted my head slowly to see him better, wincing as the motion made the throbbing worse. “I didn’t imagine that? Jake was here? He wasn’t rude, was he?”
“No, he was okay. Confused, I think, but he was really worried about you.” I heard the undertones and knew Jake’s worrywent beyond normal concern for a friend. What Riley didn’t know, though, was that wasn’t the first time Jake had rescued me from a drunken stupor.
Riley put a finger to my lips just as I was about to say something. “Shower, food, then talk. Okay?”
