“Leaving you before was easier. I mean, I wasn’t sure you’d be here when I came back, but I knew you couldn’t get far without bursting into flames. Now just thinking about being away from you feels—” He paused and rubbed his chest with his knuckles before meeting my eyes. “Painful.”
“We’ll learn to navigate these feelings. I won’t have you change your life for me,” I said, sounding far braver and more determined than I felt.
“This is new for me, but yes, we’ll learn to navigate it.” He didn’t say it, but I could see it in his eyes. He questioned if this was how it felt when I was apart from my other mate.
“It never felt this way. Just the thought of you going makes me anxious. I know you’ll be safe, and you’ll return. But I also know I could not help you if you needed it.” Pushing those words out was difficult. But imagining him injured and needing me was excruciating.
“Don’t worry, it’s just work. I’ll be home early,” Blake said. “I’d call in, but I started a big job yesterday for one of the locals and I know they need it done.” He pulled on the same pants he’d worn to work yesterday and a clean blue shirt with his name on a patch.
“Where do you work?” I asked.
“At the garage. I’m a mechanic,” Blake said with a hint of pride in his voice.
“You work on automobiles?”
“Yes, and I’m damn good at my job. Now, if I don’t get going, I’ll be late, and I don’t want to deal with that, so I’m going to head out. Don’t worry, I’ll be back.” He kissed me and hurried out the door before I had time to say another word. I stood as if to follow, but instead listened as his truck roared to life, and he drove away. I closed my eyes and focused until the sound of it blended in with the other sounds of humans and their daily lives. As the sound faded, I didn’t move from where I stood.
“Marlon? Are you okay?” Blake asked.
My eyes fluttered as he came into focus in front of me. Glancing around the room, I realized I was still where I’d been standing when he left, still holding the clothes he’d handed me. My brow furrowed, looking for some understanding of what had happened. “I—I’m not sure.”
“Sit down,” Blake said and guided me to the edge of the bed. “Have you been there the whole time I was gone?”
“I guess I have. I don’t remember anything since you left.” His eyes roamed over me, but not in the heated way he’d looked at me before. Now he looked concerned. Worried.
“Do you feel any different? I mean, is this something that happens to vampires?”
“I’m not sure. It’s as though no time has passed for me. I listened to you leave, then you were back.” I tried to remember anything happening after he’d left, but all I remembered was the fading sound of his truck as he left.
“Were you standing here the whole time?” His voice rose in shock and his hands were instantly in motion, gliding over me, looking for any injuries. His eyes immediately went to the window, but he’d drawn the curtains last night keeping me safe.
“I have no injuries, but I’m not sure what happened. It was similar being in the grave again. My mind couldn’t accept my fate, so for many years I was—frozen.” I met his eyes that were filled with worry, before he pulled me into his arms.
“Do you feel okay now? Do you need to feed?” he asked and pulled his shirt aside to expose his neck.
“No, love, you’ve given me more than enough.” I stood and pulled on the clothes he’d given me earlier while he stayed so close it made dressing difficult. When he’d been ready to leave, I was filled with a sense of loss and a big lack of control, which I didn’t understand. “The pull to you was so strong. It was hard for me to know you’d be gone no matter how short a time it would be.”
“I was nearby at work. It’s only been around four hours. I came home for lunch because I was worried about you,” Blake said and took my hand.
“When I was buried, time moved differently for me. There were years when I was not conscious, but I wasn’t asleep either. I believe that’s what may have happened today, but I knew you’d return, and I wasn’t trapped by anything but the sun.” I worried I was losing my mind. Maybe being trapped and alone for so long had driven me over the edge and I truly was insane. “What if I’m losing my mind?” I whispered.
“Marlon, you’ve only been free for two days and you were starved for years. Maybe the lack of blood did something to your body? Is there any way you could get some help?” Blake asked. The very human I could have killed as soon as I was free but allowed to live not out of kindness, but because I wanted to prolong his torment, cared about me.
“I was going to drain you,” I said, knowing I’d already admitted it to him.
“You were frantic for blood after being trapped for more than a human lifetime. I’m not saying I forgive it, but I understand, and I don’t think it was a choice you made. I think you were desperate and fighting for survival.”
“Blake?”
“What is it, Marlon?”
“If I’ve gone mad, I need you to swear to destroy me. A stake to the heart would do it. Or trap me in the sun. I won’t live the rest of my existence frozen at times and not knowing why.” I was desperate for answers I knew Blake didn’t have, but I wouldn’t force him to be my keeper.
“I would never hurt you. Tell me again what you remember.”
“I was listening to your truck leave, and I was so tempted to follow it did not matter if the sun was out. The last thing I remember is the faint sound of the engine in the distance before I locked myself down to make sure I didn’t try to follow.”
Blake took both my hands in his and for a moment I avoided his eyes, being too worried about what I’d see there. Either pity or shame, I wasn’t sure what to expect. But then his warm hand cupped my cheek and forced me to meet his eyes. “I’m going to say something, and I know you probably won’t agree, but I’m going to say it anyway. You haven’t had a mate before. What you felt may have been love, or possibly lust. But I feel the same pull you do. I had to force myself to keep driving. There is nothing that would make me trap you in a coffin and bury you. Your true mate could not inflict so much pain and torture on you.” He ended on a whisper and a part of me knew it was true.
