“Man, fuck her. You think she would be showing her ass if she had any claim to me? Trust me, if I was still giving her what she wanted, she would have sat right next to you, kissing your ass all night to ensure she didn’t lose that privilege. She ain’t getting shit from me but sent to voicemail when she calls my phone.”
“Maybe not now, but she was. How is that supposed to make me feel, Trooper?” He just stared at me, so I answered for him. “Oh, you don’t know? Well, I’ll tell you. It fucking hurts. I knew who you were, so that’s on me, but you made me believe that things were different with me. I can’t blame you for that though, because I was the one who fell for it.”
He still just stared at me, and when he finally spoke, it was so damn random that it pissed me off even more.
“You’re not mine?”
“What?”
He removed his hands from his pockets and folded them across his chest while he just peered at me. The look in his eyes was eerie. “You heard me. I asked if you’re mine or not? You just said you weren’t. So clarify for me.”
“Of everything said, that’s what you focus on?”
“Of all the bullshit just said, that’s the only thing that really matters. I told you, you can be mad, you can even hate me, but that don’t mean you get to walk. Because I don’t do that back and forth shit. It doesn't work like that for me. If you’ll bail over some simple shit like that, what happens when things really get thick? I’m used to people walking out on me, Sophie. Shit, I had a lifetime of shit like that, which is why I am the way I am. But if that’s what I can expect from you, I’ll make it easy for you. You don’t have to worry, the decision will be mine and not yours. I fucked up, but truthfully speaking, I didn’t know what this was. Yeah, I was wrong as fuck and I admit that. We didn’t have shit back then, but we do now, so if you can just walk, I promise I won’t stop you. Just make sure you mean it because there’s no second chances.”
The look he gave me was so serious I knew he meant every word. I was hurt and even pissed, but he was right, I wasn’t ready to just walk away. It didn’t mean I was ready to forgive him either. I didn’t want to be without him. The question was if she was really his past. That was the part I didn’t know.
Trooper’s hand moved down his face before he looked past me then back at me. “Let’s go, I’ll take you home. You can sit your ass in the back and be mad at me if you want. I really don’t give a fuck, but I’m not leaving here without you. After I know you’re safe at home, I’ll let you figure out what you want to do.” He was a lot calmer but still annoyed.
I wasn’t used to things like this. The men I dealt with didn’t fight for me. They demanded I choose them, but didn’t fight for me. Trooper was different and I had no idea what to do with that.
Once in his truck, I sat in the passenger seat fuming. How on earth we’d gone from him being wrong and me being mad to him getting pissed with me because I was mad was beyond me. It was almost like he somehow flipped things and placed the blameon me. Not for the situation with Orin, but the fallout. I was annoyed by that.
The drive was quiet. No music, no talking, just us sitting here. Him driving and me trying hard not to pay attention to him. How could I be so pissed and lusting over him at the same time? That drove me crazy. His sexy ass sat beside me, face full of tension, looking sexy. That same type of sexy that had Orin in my face because she knew it intimately.
The sound of my phone, still in his pocket, broke the silence and my thoughts about him, thank goodness. Trooper glanced at me before he leaned back to get my phone and tossed it into my lap. I frowned but noticed my father’s name on the screen, so I let it go. It was late, and him calling concerned me, especially since we weren’t on the best of terms, so I answered.
“Hello?”
“You need to meet me at Lenox Hill. Come now and come alone.”
“Wait, why? Are you okay? Is Mom okay?”
“It’s your mother, just get here and come alone,” he reiterated and ended the call.
“I have to go to the hospital.”
“What’s wrong?” Trooper’s entire mood changed. He was no longer upset, just concerned about me.
“I don’t know, he didn’t say. It’s my mother. He just told me to come now.” I left out the part about coming alone.
I loved my father, but if anything happened to my mother, I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted someone there I could lean on. Right now, that was Trooper. Even with everything that just happened, I wanted him there, and knew he would want to be there. My father would just have to get over it.
“Which one?”
Lenox Hill.”
I saw him processing, likely trying to decide the best way for us to get there. We were in Midtown and Lenox Hill was on the Upper East Side.
“Ay, stop stressing. I’m sure she’s fine. Don’t worry until you have a reason to.” His hand covered mine and he interlocked our fingers before he kissed my wrist and let our hands rest naturally between both seats.
I nodded but didn’t speak. Just having him with me made me feel better. My pulse was still racing, but he would help me through whatever it was.
Twenty minutes later, we were at the hospital. Trooper let me out at the entrance, kissed my cheek, and told me he’d be up as soon as he found a spot. I nodded and jumped out. I stopped at the front desk and asked for my mother. I was really confused when they told me she was in the psych ward.
My heart pounded in my chest as I stepped off the elevator and made my way to her room. Before I could enter, I stopped dead in my tracks at the conversation that they were having.
“She’s on her way. You need to get it together, Alana. You will not mess up that child’s life because you’re weak.”
