“No. No. There’s no confusion. You’ve worked hard for this. It’s been your dream to own your own design firm, and this opportunity will be the catalyst for that. You’re not going to pass this up,” he said firmly.
“But I want it all. I want this opportunity, knowing that I need to grow and discover who I am, what I want. But I also want you.”
“Youwillhave it all one day. For now, you need to go and, yes, find out all that you are meant to be.” His eyes turned stormy and glistened as he spoke. I wanted to be the one who stood by him in the storms. This was an impossible choice.
God, why? Why do I have to choose?
“But what about the things we just said? I’m torn. I’m afraid if I walk out of this house, I’ll never feel what I feel when I’m with you,” I said passionately. Suddenly, the idea of leaving was making me increasingly anxious.
Ren was the only one who knew about my growing feelings for this amazing man. But I’d never even told her that I was falling in love with him. I wasn’t sure myself until this moment.
“There’s something I need to say,” I pleaded, pulling him closer.
“No, there’s nothing more to say,” he whispered, his voice deep anddesperate as if he knew exactly what I wanted to say. “Pleasedon’t say anything more. I’m trying so hard to do the right thing here. I can’t, I won’t let you give this up.”
He turned and tried to pull his hand from mine, but I tightened my grip.
“Miles, if you tell me to stay, I’ll stay,” I said breathlessly, searching his eyes.
“Don’t do this, Vicky. My heart is breaking right now,” he said, his voice cracking on the last word. “I can’t.”
We were frozen in that moment, just like so many others over the past few weeks. The sound of music nearby drifted in on the wind, which blew my hair back as we stood like statues, afraid to break this moment.
This was goodbye.
“Alright then,” I said softly. My heart felt like it was being ripped from my body. He was being brave for me so I had to hold steady. “But Elena is coming in for the day tomorrow to help me finish up with my other clients and then I leave at five the next morning. I can’t leave without saying goodbye to MJ.”
He wiped my tears that started to flow again. How was I going to say goodbye to the little girl who had stolen my heart right along with her dad?
“I’ll pick her up early and bring her to the Turkish coffeehouse you said you like by your office. That’s the one with the wishing tree you mentioned, right? Could you meet us there at eight?”
I nodded shakily, having forgotten I’d mentioned the wishing tree. “Yes, that’s perfect. Elena gets in at nine. Finally get to meet her in person. Anyway, thank you so much for letting me see MJ.”
“She’d never forgive me if I didn’t.” He kept looking away and back, hiding his own tears.
I didn’t know what else to say, and I knew that if I stayed longer, it would only get tougher. But there was something I wanted to do before walking out that door—something I’d regret for the rest of my life if I didn’t.
“There’s, um, there’s one last thing I need from you before I go,” I said, blushing just at the thought of what I was about to say.
“Anything. Name it, and I’ll give it to you,” he said, emotions still making his voice huskier than usual. This was breaking both our hearts.
God is this Your will? For me to walk away from the man of my dreams?
Taking a deep, strengthening breath in, I let the words I’d wanted to say escape my mouth.
“I’d like you to kiss me,” I said shyly. I hoped he’d heard me because I didn’t think I could repeat my request.
His eyes widened as he gaped at me. Shutting his jaw quickly, he asked, “You wantmeto be your first kiss?”
“Yes. Yes, I do.” I could read the warring emotions flitting through him like a slide montage. Confusion, elation, passion.
“But you’re leaving. There’s a good chance we won’t ever see each other again.”
His words pierced me like a sword, and I stumbled backwards putting space between us as he quickly added, “I’m sorry, of course, that’s not what I want. It’s just. You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. You deserve to share your first kiss with someone special. Someone you might have a future with,” he said, his hands pushing through his hair almost violently.
I was stunned. I never imagined this would happen in any of my dreams of kissing Miles. And that dream had been on repeat for quite some time. He was turning me down. Hot waves of embarrassment burned over my skin as my old insecurities raised their ugly heads.
“Oh, I understand. I just thought.” I had to get out of there before I embarrassed myself more. He’d urged me to take the job in Rome, but I thought offering him something so precious to me would be something special to him. But I’d made him uncomfortable instead.
