I'm not pleased with his line of work, and I'm not happy that his "job" is taking so long, but I don't mind being held at night. And the way he makes my coffee in the morning is sweet.
Mina's eyebrows shoot up and she leans forward. Her eyes are bright with curiosity.
"He cooks for you?" she asks. "How very domestic." One eyebrow rises at me, though I can't tell if it's skepticism or disdain. She's been pretty vocal about how much she dislikes him.
I roll my eyes and reach for the salt shaker. The potatoes need more seasoning and I dump too much onto my plate. Mina watches me with that knowing look.
"It's not a big deal." I take another bite. "He happens to be awake before me."
"That's all?" Mina's voice drips with sarcasm. "Come on, it's been what, three weeks since the wedding? How's married life treating you?"
A month, actually, but I'm not about to correct her. Trying to pretend this whole thing is something I'm thrilled about is hard enough. I don't need to have to keep track of days and hours like a normal married person. Besides, I don't think she wants a real answer anyway. She's not really asking me about him. She is insinuating that she knows I'm not happy.
I don’t like that people make assumptions about me. Not her, not Petr, and definitely not Vadim.
"It's fine," I say, trying to keep my tone sounding honest as I take a bite of food.
Mina reaches across the table and puts her hand over mine. Her palm is warm and her fingers squeeze gently. "What's really going on?" she asks quietly. "And don't give me that 'fine' bullshit."
I pull my hand away and grab my water glass. The condensation drips onto the table where a puddle has collected, and I know Ican't keep putting her off. I can't tell her the whole truth, but I can't keep lying to her. She's my friend, and I need someone to talk to.
"He needed help with something." My conscience won't allow me to look her in the eye, so I focus on the water glass. "Immigration stuff. His visa was expiring and he needed to stay for work."
Mina's thoughtful but she pulls her hand back and sighs lightly. I'm confessing to a crime that could get me in a lot of trouble, but I need my best friend's support on this.
"So you married him to help him get citizenship?" She leans back in the booth and glances around, but her voice stays quiet and compassionate. "Danica, that's fraud. You know you could go to jail."
"I know," I almost whimper. "But I didn't have a choice. He offered to help me with something I can't handle on my own and this was the price." I feel foolish and I shouldn't have to. If I told her what a monster Vadim was when he propositioned me, she'd understand why I had no choice. But then, he's not all bad.
He makes me breakfast, and he confessed his heart to me, why he is even after that man to hunt him down. Vadim is just misunderstood, even by me sometimes. I get so angry, but really, he's just trying to do what he thinks is right. He's not bad for that, just misguided.
"What kind of help?"
I glance up at her, but I know I can't tell her about how he offered to pay me. It only makes me look worse and I feel ashamed enough as it is.
"It doesn't matter." I push my plate away. "The point is I'm stuck now until his job runs its course, and then we'll get an annulment and I'll be free."
Mina reaches for my hand again and this time, I let her take it. Her thumb rubs across my knuckles.
"You made a stupid choice." Her words are blunt but her tone is kind. "But you're not the first person to do something desperate when they're backed into a corner."
"I know it was stupid." I blink hard. "I just don't know what else I could've done."
"Okay." Mina squeezes my hand. "Then let's talk about the silver lining. You've got a roof over your head that's nicer than your old apartment. You've got a husband who cooks you breakfast. And from what you're not saying, I'm guessing the situation isn't completely terrible."
The situation isn't terribleis probably the understatement of the year. Vadim's demanding and controlling, but he's also protective over me, which is sort of nice. And he touches me like he owns me but also like he's afraid I'll break. The stark contrast seems impossible, but it's who he is. How do I explain that?
"It's complicated." That's the closest thing to being honest that I can manage. "I don't hate him. I probably should, but I don't."
"Do you like him?" Mina's grin is back and she looks mischievous. "Is the sex good, at least?"
Heat floods my face. Mina laughs loud enough that a couple at the next table turns to look at us. I kick her shin under the table. Then I grin at her and snicker under my breath.
"What makes you think I'm having sex with him?" I say around a sip of water.
"You glow, Danica… You positively glow some days, like this morning. You did it this morning, didn't you?" Now she's seriously crossing a line, but that's what best friends do. "Oh, my God, it is good. Your face just told me everything. How good are we talking?"
"I'm not discussing this with you." I grab my water and gulp it, hiding behind the glass.
