"The road wasn't easy, but the result is beautiful. I don't want it to be easy because I don't think loving Honor will ever be that. I just want to know that I'm more than the person keeping him grounded."
"And you are," Gigi assured, but it fell by the waste side because she didn't get it.
"Do you know when the world gets too much for Honor, or he's done something he feels he can't come back from, that he calls me and saysI need to hear you say it."
"What's he asking you to say?" they both asked.
Unwanted sympathy danced in their eyes, making me feel worse than I already did. I wasn't baring my soul, so they'd feelbad for me. I just wanted them to understand the frustration I've been holding in for years.
"I love you. That's what heneedsto hear. Everything is a need with him. Everything and everyone in his life has a reason for being there, which goes beyond a simple want. I want Honor. The bad, the ugly, the darkness that torments him daily — I want it all because I want him. He doesn't want… he needs because that's what survival is to a man like Honor… to a man like my father. My father needed my mother until he didn't. Honor was raised by Lucian, so eventually, he won't need me anymore. So, what am I supposed to hold on to? Because if he doesn't need me and has never wanted me, then what's left? What's fucking left?"
"Us." Hurt and panic brought his gravelly tone to a whimper that almost went unheard by everyone but me. "We'll always be left at the end of this shit. There's no me without you, Navy. How many times do I gotta tell you that shit?"
"Damn, Honor, beat your feet next time you come in here," Chosyn joked, wanting to lighten the mood but it was too late. A storm already brewed in Honor's eyes.
"How much did you?—"
"Enough," he quipped. "Let's go."
"Now, wait a minute," Gigi argued, rising to her feet. "Emotions are high, and it's been a long day. I think everyone should take a moment. Y'all can stay here, and we can have dinner together."
"It's not about what you think," Honor calmly said, but the harshness in his words was still felt.
"I'm only going to tell you once to watch how you talk to me. I'm not your enemy," Gigi warned.
"It's fine," I chimed in, pulling my body from the couch. "I'll call you later."
"You better." Chosyn half-smiled, but even that was more like a frown.
"Navy, you don't have to go if you don't want to. Honor doesn't scare anybody, but his shadow," Gigi asserted, rolling her eyes in Honor's direction.
"It's not about him. It's about me. I'll call you tomorrow."
Gigi pulled me into a hug, then let me go and walked over to a stone-faced Honor and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back, but his heavy gaze never left me.
"Text me when y'all get home," Gigi called after us.
Honor helped me into the passenger seat, then roughly buckled me in.
"You good?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Navy!"
"What?" I spat, matching his menacing growl.
"I asked you a question."
"And I answered."
"Navy, stop fucking?—"
"No, you stop fucking playing with me—" I snipped. "You don't fucking scare me, Honor."
"You think I want you to be scared?" His brows pinched together as his top lip curled.
"I—"
