"If we gon' clear the air, then I'm airing this bitch out. I'm not carrying this shit no more," Crown asserted, his voice tight, eyes locked on me.
I let out a slow, rough breath and stood still. "Air it out then."
"I probably was two seconds from hitting rock bottom when your non-talking ass stepped in. I hate to phrase what you did for me this way 'cause it gives you a certain power over my lifethat I'm not fond of, but I'ma real ass nigga, so I'ma call it like it is," Crown explained, narrowing his gaze. "You saved me."
Saved him?I get why he thought that, but I didn't save Crown. I fixed what was my fault to begin with.
"Crown I?—"
"Nah, nigga you want your just due for the shit you've done for me, right? I'ma call it what it is… you saved me. And from that day forward, I've been trying to repay you. No amount of money could ever touch what I owe you, so I gave you unwavering loyalty instead. I changed my last name 'cause I knew that's what you wanted."
Crown took a breath, motioning for Wolfe to pass the spliff. He inhaled deeply, letting the smoke roll through him.
"I stood next to you and did shit off the strength of you telling me to. There wasn't much I wouldn't do for you. I love you, my nigga, and that ain't some shit I say lightly. But somewhere along the way, the love I got for you and the love I thought you had for me started looking more and more like control."
That shit hit.
"I brushed off you not telling us Lucian basically raised you. I didn't say shit about you keeping what you knew about Chosyn's family to yourself. I knew you weren't a talkative ass nigga, but after what happened with Wolfe and Chosyn, I at least thought if I came to you, you'd be honest."
His jaw tightened, and out of instinct mine did the same.
"I didn't wait for shit to blow up. I came to you asking for the truth," Crown continued, hurt and disappointed, glossing his stare. "You looked your muthafuckin' brother in the eye and fucking lied."
"I didn't lie," I protested, slowly letting every word land where it needed to.
"Nigga you did," he snarled, stepping closer, hands curled at his side. "I asked if you knew anything about Four. You said no, but you knew Sincere was her ex!"
"Fuck you wanted me to do, Crown?" I shot back. "Sound like a bitch telling you the nigga your ex was cheating on you with is the ex of the woman you love?"
I posed the question, not looking for an answer 'cause it didn't fucking need one.
"What happened with Em had you walking around with a chalky tongue and a white-rimmed nose," I continued, my voice low. "You think I wanted to bring that shit back up and watch you spiral again?"
The room went still. Even Wolfe shifted, sensing things about to go left.
"Don't you mean save me again?" Crown chuckled dryly. "That's the shit that gets you off, tho. You handling situations for niggas because it makes you feel needed, makes you feel in control. Like you're the one keeping us alive 'cause without you I'd be a pill head, right?"
"I never said that. Don't let your couch lady get you fucked up for projecting," I warned.
"It's what you think, tho. It's why you stood your big ass in the street yelling that you made me like you were ready to die 'bout that shit. Thismeyou talking to, my nigga, the same muthafucka you shared a room with for two years. You like to play mysterious, but I know you. I know how your mind works."
A dry chuckle was my response. This nigga didn't know shit about me that I hadn't told him.
"Oh, this shit's funny to you?"
"Not at all. Tell me what you know 'bout me, Crown."
"I know you're scared to be alone. That's why you keep Navy close and try to control Wolfe and me. You keep secrets so you'llalways have the upper hand. Always have the chance to be the muthafuckin' hero so we'll be indebted to you."
"That's what you think?" I scoffed.
"That's what I know, nigga. Why else would you keep to yourself that Lynx, the nigga I put on, was a snake? You kept it to yourself so?—"
"I didn't fucking know!" I snapped. "Think what you wanna think, but when have I ever lied to you? I keep shit from you 'cause in my head it's safer that way, but I haven't lied to you niggas once."
"Yeah, ight." Crown waved me off, and for a split second, I almost forgot what this nigga meant to me.
"Chill," Wolfe intervened, moving to stand next to me. "If you didn't know, then what happened?"
