"How you think I know Chosyn is a little off? It takes a crazy person to know one." I smirked. "Nah, but don't trip too hard off what happened. Navy's upset about it now, but she won't be forever. Give her time to?—"
"I didn't tell her," Honor cut in.
"What is she mad for if not the kiss?" Wolfe pulled the question straight outta my head.
"I ignored her calls and shit last night, then came home late as fuck."
"Nah, that's not it," I interjected, shaking my head. "Four was on the phone with Navy last night. I didn't hear what they were talking about fully, but she was on the phone crying, and you know Navy's not the crying type."
"Right," Wolfe agreed.
"Fuck y'all want me to say?" Honor gritted.
"The truth, nigga!" I blacked.
"That is the fucking truth. I didn't tell her about the kiss because she's been bugging since I walked in the house last night. Telling her is only gon' make shit worse. I checked Choyce and made sure she understood not to cross that line again."
"Nigga, do you know how to be honest?" I let out a dry chuckle, ashing what was left of my spliff.
"I'm telling y'all niggas now. I'm not breaking up shit. I'ma let y'all fight and record it for Navy and Four to see so they can clown y’all asses."
"This nigga don't wanna see me." Honor laughed.
My brows dipped 'cause this nigga still saw me as the little nigga who needed his help to kick a habit.
"I'm not even on that fighting shit, but I'll whoop yo' ass if that's what you're on."
I paused, letting what I said breathe in case Honor wanted to test it.
"I ain't ever been scared of you, my nigga. I spare you off the strength of our history but don't get it fucked up… I'mstillme, and youknowwhat that comes with. Niggas think 'cause I got a couch lady I see twice a week that I won't set it off on niggas. Brother or not… Honor, I'll beat the fuck outta you, then help you off the ground and drive you home for Navy to patch you up. Stop playing with me, bro."
Whatever Chosyn rolled in that spliff had a nigga feeling vulnerable. The high wrapped itself around my heart and pressed play, every beat louder than the last, reminding me of all the shit I kept buried because I didn't want to take it there with Honor. Beefing with him felt crazy, but this shit between us was getting hard to ignore. Everything I tried to outrun since he set foot in my house stood stiil and staring me dead in the face.
"That's your word?" Honor asked, rubbing his jaw.
"Nigga, fuck you think?" I shot back.
The room went quiet.
Honor's hand dropped from his jaw; his eyes locked on mine as if he were weighing his next move.
"Look," he started, letting out a tired breath. "If you got something you wanna get off your chest, do that shit now. Take advantage of the moment so we can move past this shit."
I swallowed hard, feeling exposed in a way I hadn't been since I broke down in Honor's arms all those years ago. My couch lady has been teaching me how to sit with what I felt instead of acting on it, but this shit… this was different. I thought smoking would help move the shit between Honor and me along, make it lighter, some we could joke our way through, but it did the opposite.
This new strand wasn't numbing like Chosyn's other weed. Nah… this shit dug in. It was forcing me to be honest. Honest about the hurt. Honest about the disappointment. Honest about staring at my brother and realizing I didn't know this nigga forreal. What fucked me up even more was Honor looking back at me in the same way.
No smirk. No joke. No love. Just that weight in his eyes that made it clear this conversation wasn't something either of us could fake our way through.
"Fuck it," I said, running my hand down my face, mentally preparing myself for whatever came after I said my peace.
Honor Gravehart
"Back when Ifirst lived at Gravehart Homes, a nigga was drowning in his own tears. During the day, I kept my head down and did what I had to for muthafuckas to leave me alone. As soon as the sky turned dark, the tears started. I hated being a crying ass nigga, but there wasn't shit I could do until I was given a fix. The pills helped me escape to a world where life didn't matter. I was numb as fuck, moving through my twenty-four like a ghost, present but not really there. I didn't give a fuck about seeing tomorrow as long as the hurt stayed quiet…"
Crown's voice trailed off, and the silence that followed felt like a punch to the chest. I stood up and paced behind the couch, trying to shake the guilt that sat heavy on my conscience.
"Damn, nigga I didn't think you was gon' go there." Wolfe sighed, relighting his spliff.
