“And he did.”
“Yes,” Hope murmured, rubbing her thumb over the back of her friend’s hand, thinking how proud she was of everything Dakota had accomplished since that fateful night.
Seeing a flash of sorrow in her friend’s face, Willow asked, “What are you thinking right now? Are you still grieving over your babies?”
“No…yes…no. I mean I’m not grieving like I did before but I do miss them terribly. Right now I feel so…useless. I don’t have anyone to take care of. Before that night, I knew who I was…now I don’t. My children…the ones who survived…grew up and moved on with their lives. I’ll never get those years back with them and, while I am so very proud of the men they’ve become, I’m grieving for the years I’ve missed with them.” Shrugging her shoulders, Hope’s eyes filled with tears. “I know I should be grateful that they escaped Josiah…and I am…but I feel I failed them. I just assumed they were home with the others that night but I keep thinking I should have made sure. So many things could have delayed them…like car trouble or whatever…yet I was so willing to accept their deaths…what does that say about me as a mother?”
“Sweetie, all it says is you were dealing with an enormous amount of grief that blinded you to anything else. It doesn’t make you a bad mother and, if you asked your sons, they would agree with me. Don’t you think Jackson has asked himself the same questions in reverse? Don’t you think he feels guilty for just assuming everyone died that night? That he’s blaming himself for letting you suffer all those years?”
“I never thought of it that way…but it wasn’t his fault.”
“No it wasn’t…just as it isn’t your fault. Someday, it might help if you and Jackson have a heart-to-heart talk about it. I think both of you can help heal each other’s wounds.”
“I’ll have to think about that,” Hope murmured.
“It doesn’t have to be today…wait until you feel ready to do it,” Willow said, giving her friend a hug. “The other piece of advice I have for you is to take it slowly in figuring out ‘who you are’ because I think time will answer that question for you. Whether you realize it or not, your sons need you very much. They’ve come a long way, but your love can help heal those wounds each still carries deep inside them. It’s the greatest gift you can give them.”
Hope’s eyes brightened. “You’re right. Each time one of them visits, I can sense that pain, but when I ask if everything is okay, I always get the same answer: ‘I’m fine, Mom.’ But I know in my heart they aren’t.”
“See? Whether they know it or not, they need you. Also, what about helping in the kitchen?”
“Oh I’d love to do that,” Hope said, her happiness clearly evident at the thought before it slowly ebbed. “But Mac won’t let me…and my hands…I’d be a menace with a knife.”
“Mac isn’t a problem. Just tell him you’re going to visit me or Sofia and then you can sneak off to the kitchen. We’ll cover for you. As for being lethal with a knife…I’m sure there are plenty of things you can do that won’t require a knife, right?” Willow asked, her eyes twinkling mischievously.
Pursing her lips, Hope thought about her friend’s suggestion, then grinning she said, “Baking cupcakes…I can do that.”
“Perfect…and who knows…it might be exactly what’ll help you regain the full use of your hands.”
Smiling, Hope said, “Thanks, Willow…for everything. Now, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?”
Shaking her head, Willow smiled. “I never could hide anything from you.”
“No, you can’t. So, fess up!”
Biting her lower lip, Willow hesitated revealing to her friend what she planned to do, concerned that it might exacerbate Hope’s memories of that night. It was the last thing she wanted to do, especially since Hope was making such good progress. She knew her son was worried about what Josiah would do once he found out there was a witness to his horrible crime. And if she were honest with herself, that fear wasn’t Glenn’s alone. Ever since she’d arrived at the Blackwood Pack and realized how much her friend was suffering, Willow had vacillated between submitting her statement to the High Council or letting it remain a secret.
“Willow,” Hope said softly, “please tell me.”
Stiffening her back, Willow looked squarely into her friend’s eyes. “I want to file my statement with the High Council, detailing what happened that night…for several reasons. First, Josiah must be stopped. I made up my mind about that after Cody, Zane and Dylon rescued me in New York. But the most selfish one is I’m tired of running, always looking over my shoulder, expecting Josiah to kill me. I know it doesn’t make sense, especially since he doesn’t know what I saw, but the thought we weren’t the only ones who witnessed it and might have been seen there just keeps running through my mind. And, finally, the other reason is you. Ever since Cody explained how he and his brothers survived, I knew I would do everything in my power to make sure you didn’t lose those children too.”
Hope was quiet for a few moments, before saying, “Those are very good reasons and I certainly don’t disagree with them. I’m so sorry you were dragged into this family mess. It certainly was something you weren’t expecting when you brought me home thatnight. When Cody told me about your rescue and how you’d been living in fear since that night, I cried for the suffering Josiah had inflicted on you. And I’m ashamed of myself for never contacting you once I was safe at my sister’s. I should have…so much could have been prevented if only I’d had the courage to speak out. Can you ever forgive me?”
Wrapping her arms around Hope, who was now weeping, Willow hugged her tightly, determined to give her friend comfort and hoping to receive it in return. Finally, letting go, Willow wiped the tears from her face before saying, “Nothing to forgive, sweetie. I think it’s time we both stop letting that asshole control our lives. Agree?”
Nodding, Hope pressed her fingertips against her eyes in an attempt to stop from crying. Finally, successful in her effort, she lowered her hands before saying, “I agree. I want to see him die for killing my babies, my mate and the rest of our pack…for hunting the rest of my children…for taking so many years of your life from you.”
“Oh yes, sweetie, I’m in total agreement with that. For all the crap he did, Josiah deserves to die…though it would be nice if the High Council decided to torture him a bit before putting him to death.”
Shocked, Hope’s jaw dropped until she saw the glint of merriment in her friend’s eyes. “Willow! You aresobad!”
“Just saying.”
Shaking her head, Hope grinned. “See? That…right there…that’s why we got into so much trouble as kids.”
“Oh no, you can’t pin it all on me. If I remember correctly, it was usually your ideas that went wrong.”
“Not true. Your memory’s playing tricks on you. In fact, it was you who egged Billy on to make that bet with me.”
