And I knew he’d follow.
I put my mouth next to his ear again and said, “They’re calling you.” It took him a good ten seconds to make sense of my words.
“Shit,” he said as he scrambled to move away from me. The anxiety slid over him like a familiar cloak and I hated it. So I didn’t hesitate to tighten my hold on his throat and pin him against the wall until he stilled.
Fortunately, there was no fear in his eyes as he focused them on me.
“Talk to me,” I said firmly. At his questioning look, I glanced over my shoulder at the ballroom and explained, “When you’re up there, you find me and you talk only to me. Do you understand me? No one else.”
I wasn’t sure if he was reacting to the possessiveness in my voice or the permission I was giving him to escape the pressure of having to deal with the sea of faces that would all be focused on him, but it didn’t really matter. I’d accomplished what I’d set out to do because he relaxed, then nodded.
“Good,” I said. “When you’re finished, you and I are leaving. You can tell people you aren’t feeling well. I don’t care where we go, just as long as it’s you and me.Justyou and me.”
I knew I was being high-handed, but I’d seen enough to suspect that was exactly what Elliot needed tonight. I doubted it was something he was looking for twenty-four-seven and I had absolutely no desire for a relationship built on that particular dynamic, but I’d give him whatever he needed to get him through tonight.
So I could meet the real Elliot.
The one I’d only gotten glimpses of so far.
I stepped away from him and immediately hated the loss of contact as I dropped my hand from his throat. So instead, I wrapped my fingers around his and, not caring who was watching, led him past the crowd toward the front of the ballroom where there was a small stage and a single microphone. Once we reached it, a young woman dressed as a strawberry darted onto the stage and announced him. I gave Elliot’s fingers a gentle squeeze before I let him go. His eyes held mine for a moment and I felt a measure of satisfaction at how clear and calm they looked.
During my research earlier in the afternoon, I’d found a couple of YouTube videos for speeches he’d done at local events and while to most he’d likely seemed composed, I’d been able to see the uncertainty in his stance and I’d heard the unevenness in his voice. As he stepped onto the stage, I saw a confident young man and when he began speaking, there was only the slightest hint of self-doubt. Butas soon as his eyes searched me out and stayed on me, his voice evened out. He was poised enough to subconsciously keep looking back at the rest of the crowd, but I could tell he wasn’t seeing them and he was quick to return his eyes to me.
Yeah, he was definitely only seeing me.
I was arrogantly pleased by that, even though I knew I probably shouldn’t be. I hadn’t ever been in an actual relationship before, so I’d never felt any kind of moment where it seemed like you were the sole focus of someone else’s world.
Elliot was giving that to me.
I knew it wasn’t real, but I didn’t care.
I’d take what I could get.
Because even if I’d wanted it to be real, it couldn’t be.
And wasn’t that just a fucking shame?
Elliot’s anxietyhad returned the moment he’d stepped off the stage and approached me and it was growing worse and worse with every moment he spent in my presence. He’d hidden it well as we’d matriculated through the crowd so he could mingle for a bit and give his excuses for needing to leave early, but the second I’d taken his hand to lead him from the building, he’d gone rigid with tension. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought he was afraid of me, and if his eyes had been darting around us as we walked, I would have attributed his nerves to the attack he’d endured the night before. But his gaze was practically glued to the ground as we walked.
“You okay?” I asked as I gave his hand a little tug to get his attention.
“What? Oh, um, yeah,” he said. His eyes met mine only briefly before falling again. We’d left the hotel where the party had been held a few minutes earlier and were making our way down to the waterfront to check out the marketplace and pier. Although it was dark out, the weather was mild and dry, so we’d decided to walk. The streets around us were busy with foot and car traffic. Since itwas the night before Halloween, a large number of people were dressed in costumes like us.
Not satisfied with Elliot’s response, I tugged him into the doorway of a small shop. The shop itself was closed, but there was enough light from the street lamp and the single row of lights the shop owner had left on to see Elliot’s expression as I forced him back against the wall. Thankfully, the spot afforded us a little bit of privacy.
“Try again,” I ordered gently as I crowded my way into Elliot’s space. He showed no sign of being afraid of me, so I lifted my hands and settled them on his waist. I cursed the fabric of his costume, because there was just no easy way to get my fingers beneath the material to test the softness of his skin.
“I don’t do this,” he finally said.
“Do what?”
“Leave parties with strangers. Do whatever it is we’re going to do.”
I smiled at that. “What is it you think we’re going to do?” I asked.
I could see a hint of color flood his skin. “Noth…nothing,” he said quickly. “I just…”
God, he was adorable when he got all flustered. I lifted one hand and settled it on the wall next to his head. The move had me caging him in even more and I wasn’t surprised when it actually relaxed him rather than made him more tense.
