He grinned and then dragged me down for a kiss. I let him take control of it before pulling back and shaking my head.
“Right, focusing,” he said quickly as he tried to pull his face into a mask of seriousness. “Is it my turn to talk yet?”
“Not yet,” I said, though I was the one having trouble focusing now because that happy look was back and more prominent than ever. But reality forced me to sober. “I promise to try all that stuff, but I need to know if I can’t be that man, that you still want this…me. Truth, Ethan,” I reminded him.
He scowled at me at that, but it didn’t last long. “Okay, is it my turn now?”
“Yes,” I said with a sigh because I knew he hadn’t really thought about it.
“Don’t do that,” he ordered and then he was pushing me onto my back. I didn’t even feel the slightest bit of anxiety as he settled his weight on me. “Just because I already know the answer to your question doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it, Cain. It just means I don’t need to think about it because I’d already come to that decision on my own. First, my dad hates football, but my brothers love it. Dad’s the fisherman so just swap the two and your examples work. And you shouldn’t dance with my mother because she’s a terrible dancer. But more importantly, I don’t need you to change because I loveyou. Not some version of you that you think is better because there is no such thing. I want the version of you who thinks this version of me is just perfect and doesn’t care if I gain ten pounds or fifty or that I like nerdy things or that I get too emotional sometimes.”
I barely had time to register what he was saying because I wasstill stuck on his declaration which had been delivered with no hesitation whatsoever.
He loved me.
“I want the you who brings me potato chips, but doesn’t care if I eat one or one hundred. I want the you who will spend the rest of his life reminding me that he has me and knows I have him too. You’re it for me too, Cain Jensen. I’ll help you figure out how to trust again, but only if you want that. I don’t care if it takes a month, a year, a hundred years and I don’t care if it never happens. What we have right here, right now…what we had in that shower…that’s what I want. That’s the version of you I want.”
He kissed me before I could even respond, which was a good thing, because I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t known what to expect, but it sure as hell hadn’t been that.
I quickly rolled him onto his back and covered him with the weight of my body. I groaned when I felt his legs shift so that I could lie between them. Our cocks brushed against each other and I cursed the fabric separating us.
“I need to feel you,” I whispered roughly against his mouth as I skimmed my hand down his body. I managed to shove the boxers he was wearing down enough to reach his cock. Unlike in the shower, there was no hesitation this time and I eagerly wrapped my hand around it and began stroking. Ethan let out a harsh groan and then he was bucking up against me, thrusting into my hand. I felt his hands sliding down my back, his fingers gripping me hard. But just before he reached my ass, he stopped.
“Don’t stop,” I immediately said. “Touch me like you want to, Ethan. You’ll know if I need you to stop.”
His emerald gaze held mine for the longest time before I felt his hands move again. “I love you,” he whispered.
I wanted to say the words back, but they got stuck in my throat.
I was frozen in place as Ethan’s warm hands slid beneath the athletic shorts I’d worn to bed. I closed my eyes as he caressed my ass and then gave me a gentle squeeze.
“Fuck,” I whispered and then I was grinding my cock against his. His hands urged me on, gripping my ass hard as he pulled meforward onto his leaking cock. I managed to free my own cock and Ethan cried out as our flesh came into contact. I took us both in hand and began pumping frantically, but I knew it wasn’t enough.
It wasn’t what I needed.
“I need to be inside you,” I said to Ethan between the light kisses I was placing on his lips.
He managed a nod, but nothing else. His skin was deliciously flushed and his eyes had gone dark with lust.
I slid up his body enough so I could reach past him to get to the nightstand where I’d stashed the lube and condoms. The position had my chest hovering just above his lips and he took complete advantage and ran his tongue over one of my nipples. The sensation had me dropping the lube back in the drawer just as I closed my fingers around it, but I didn’t care because it felt so damn good that I wanted him to do it again.
He did.
Over and over.
And then his teeth gently bit down on me. His hands were still gripping my ass causing me to grind against his stomach.
“Jesus,” I muttered as I snatched the lube and a strip of condoms and practically yanked the drawer off its rollers as I pulled my hand free. I surged up to a sitting position so I could tear one of the condoms open. My fingers were shaking so badly that I had to stop what I was doing so I could try to get ahold of myself.
Ethan sat up and took the condom from me. “Let me,” he whispered before kissing me gently.
I nodded because the embarrassment was just too keen to allow me to speak.
Ethan’s fingers carefully rolled the latex down my shaft. He kept brushing gentle kisses over my mouth as he did it. “Don’t,” he murmured softly.
I knew that he knew what was happening to me. “It’s never been like this,” I admitted.
“I’m glad,” Ethan responded. “For me either.”
