Not one.
“If we do this, it won’t be easy,” I said as I handed Seth his phone.
Seth nodded. “I…I can’t explain it, Ronan, but I just…walking out of there and leaving them behind - it hurt in a way I can’t explain,” Seth murmured as his hand went to his chest and began rubbing back and forth. I had no doubt he was thinking about the night he’d lost his parents and what had remained of his idyllic childhood. “I know it will change everything, but I don’t want it to change what we have…”
I knew what he was talking about and I realized he wasn’t taking this whole thing lightly. Yes, he was clearly emotionally invested, but he’d also been thinking about more than just the immediate need to protect the kids. I clasped my hand around the back of his neck as I shifted my body so I was straddling the log. I drew him forward until our lips met, but I kept the kiss brief. “Nothing will ever change what we have. We may be tested by whatever the future brings, butwewon’t be changed by it, do you hear me? We’re in this together until the end.”
Seth turned his head to kiss my palm and then he practically crawled into my lap. He put his forehead against mine and whispered, “I wake up every morning thanking God for bringing you back into my life.”
“I wake up every morning thankingyoufor not letting me walk out of it again,” I said softly and then I kissed him. And I kept kissing him until the damp chill of the evening air began to settle around us. I once again took his hand in mine as we began walking back towards the house, Bullet now walking sedately next to us. And I couldn’t help but think how different things would look if there were five of us instead of three. A quick glance at Seth showed he was thinking the same thing and I knew then that I’d do my best to make things right by those kids.
I’d do it for them and for Seth…and for me.
Chapter 2
Hawke
The secondI opened the door, a bundle of denim was thrust at me and I looked down to see young Leo Devereaux standing on the threshold wearing only a thin long-sleeved shirt, a pair of white underwear with Darth Vader on them and bright red sneakers. His jacket was lying on the walkway leading up to the house. I looked up at the house across the street and saw Zane Devereaux shaking his head from where he stood in his own doorway.
“Hey, Leo,” I said with a chuckle as I stepped aside. “He’s in his room.”
“Thanks,” the boy said brightly and then he disappeared into the house as I went out to grab his jacket. I glanced over my shoulder just in time to see his shirt hit the floor as he rounded the corner to go down the hallway to Matty’s room. I laughed and gave Zane a wave as I snagged the jacket and I watched the other man disappear into his house. I spared a quick glance at Dante Thorne who was sitting in a sedate blue sedan at the end of the block. His eyes met mine, but we didn’t acknowledge each other since the goal was for him to remain as invisible as possible. Ronan and I had decided we’d have Dante shadow Matty until after the holidays just to make one hundred percent sure that Tate’s and my past was nolonger a threat to us or our son. While Zane and his husband knew about the reason for Dante’s presence, none of the other neighbors did and I wanted to keep it that way.
Tate and I had lucked out when we’d discovered that the house across the street from Matty’s new best friend’s house was up for sale and we’d immediately put an offer in on it. And the slight bidding war with another set of buyers that had followed hadn’t deterred us in the least. It wasn’t that the house was even our dream house or anything, at least not in the typical sense. No, it was what the house represented that had us paying considerably more than it was worth. It was moments like these where Matty’s best friend could come over to play that had made it worth every extra penny we’d spent. Knowing our son could ride his bike with his friends in the quiet cul-de-sac or that he could wait at the bus stop with the boy he never stopped talking about…those had been the reasons we’d snatched up the house.
We’d been in the house less than a week when Matty had finally gotten the all clear three days ago to leave the hospital for what we hoped would be the last time. It had been a roller coaster of emotions since then, as we’d started the process of adjusting to a normal life again after spending so many weeks in the hospital at Matty’s bedside. There was, of course, the unbelievable joy that we finally got to walk our son out of those hospital doors for what would hopefully be the last time, but there was also the intense uncertainty as we waited to learn if our son was officially in remission. And even just adjusting to the most normal of tasks like going to the grocery store or trying to decide what to make for dinner was a challenge. From the moment Tate and I had met, nothing about our lives had been normal and trying to be that now was daunting to say the least.
I went back into the house and grabbed Leo’s shirt and then went to Matty’s room to make sure the boys were getting on okay. I found them sitting in front of Matty’s closet surrounded by superhero action figurines and Storm, Matty’s puppy who now weighed more than he did, was lying on his bed chewing on one of her dog toys. They were deep in conversation about some kind of attackthey were planning on the enemy and didn’t notice me which was exactly the way I wanted it. My son was finally being the kid he deserved to be. I turned to go, not missing the fact that Leo was now wearing Matty’s favorite Spiderman shirt. The pants were still a no-go though and I stifled a laugh as I thought of poor Zane and Connor trying to keep up with their tenacious son.
I walked down the hallway to Tate’s and my bedroom and found my fiancé sitting on our bed, a notebook open in his lap and pages of notes scattered around him. We were still waiting for some of our furniture to be delivered so I knew the bed was the best place for Tate to spread things out. He glanced up at me and paused in whatever he was writing down and I felt my heart clench at the look in his eyes. No matter how stressed or worried he was about all the changes we faced, there was always this moment when he looked at me and all I saw was contentment. Like he was exactly where he was supposed to be. It was a feeling I knew all too well.
“Leo?” Tate asked with a chuckle as he glanced at the clothes in my hand.
I nodded and put the clothes on the end of the bed. “I think I found his Kryptonite, though,” I said as I sat down on the bed and began moving papers out of the way so I could get closer to my man.
“Oh yeah? What?”
“Let’s just say our son’s taste in fashion is rubbing off on him.”
Tate smiled and then reached next to him to grab a small spiral bound notebook. I saw him jot something down. I took the notebook from him before he could put it away again. It was a Christmas list and I could see Leo’s name on it and a note about superhero clothing. There were a half a dozen names on the list besides mine and Matty’s and when I turned to the next page, I saw more names. I flipped back to the first page.
“I don’t know what to get you,” Tate murmured as his hand came up to play with the back of my neck. A shiver ran down my spine and my cock automatically stiffened to full attention.
I fingered the gold band on Tate’s left hand and whispered, “You’ve already given me exactly what I wanted.” I leaned in andbrushed my mouth over his. “Everything I’ve ever wanted.” When Tate’s tongue licked over mine, I pressed against him with the intention of getting him flat on his back, but the rustling papers beneath my leg reminded me we weren’t really free to do more so I pulled back and said, “What is all this?”
“Wedding stuff,” Tate said as he pointed to one section. “Bills,” – he pointed to the middle section – “And Christmas.” He put the notebook back down next to him and shook his head. “A Christmas wedding,” he murmured. “What were we thinking?”
Despite our plan to keep the wedding simple, it was still proving to be anything but simple to actually plan it. Add in the stress of trying to set up a new house and prepare for our first Christmas together, and I had to wonder why we hadn’t given the idea more thought. But I knew the answer. We’d wanted to end this year as the family we were meant to be. We’d wanted to celebrate all the many things we had to be thankful for and we’d wanted to do it during a time that had always been painful for each of us in the years before we’d found each other.
“The venue called and said they couldn’t accommodate all the people anymore because the ballroom they had us set up in sustained water damage from a leaking pipe and the only room they have left is half the size. But the invitations have already gone out…” Tate glanced at the other stacks of papers and shook his head. “If I don’t get started on the Christmas shopping, I won’t get it all done in time and we’ve got all these appointments this week.” Tate held up a piece of paper with several dates and times on them. I knew they were a mix of doctor appointments for Matty as well as things like getting the phone and cable set up in the house.
“We could postpone,” I offered as I began looking through some of the paperwork.
Tate shook his head and looked at me. “I don’t want to wait even a minute longer than I have to to marry you,” he said softly.
I nodded because I felt the same way. I knew we could easily go down to the courthouse at any time and make things official, but I didn’t want that. I wanted to be surrounded by our family and friends. I wanted the pomp and circumstance that went withcommitting myself forever to this one person. This person who’d changed me…saved me.
“Let me take care of this,” I said as I nodded at the wedding papers. “We’ll split these up,” I added as I motioned to the list of appointments. “And I’ll talk to Magnus about babysitting for a day or two and we’ll get a jump on the Christmas shopping.”
