Seth shook his head and just held on to me. I ran my hands up and down his back and felt him relax somewhat. He finally pulled back and kissed me softly. “I just really wanted to see you,” was all he said, and then he settled his mouth on mine. I couldn’t stifle the moan that bubbled up from my throat as his tongue slipped into my mouth and mated with mine. When we were finally forced to come up for air, I pulled him against me again and just held him.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” I asked, since I knew there was definitely something he needed to get off his chest.
Seth nodded against my neck and then reached for my hand. I followed him through the house and into the backyard. Neither ofus spoke as we made our way down to the beach. Despite the cool, misty weather, Bullet darted into the water and began chasing the waves as they lapped up onto the shore. I held on to Seth’s hand as we walked and didn’t push him to tell me what was going on. I hadn’t ever actually seen him this nervous before, at least not since we’d gotten past our rocky beginning, and that had me on edge.
“I had lunch with Connor and Zane today,” Seth finally began after several long minutes of tense silence. I knew he’d grown close to both men since their son had become Matty’s best friend in the past couple of months, but I didn’t comment since I also knew that wasn’t the crux of what had him so troubled.
“I drove because Connor doesn’t drive and Zane’s car was in the shop. Connor and I picked Zane up at his office. It was some kind of in-service day at Connor’s school so he didn’t have to work.”
I nodded in understanding, suspecting Seth was somewhat rambling because he was building up to whatever was bothering him.
“During lunch, Zane got a call from the hospital. Some kids he’s representing got hurt and were in the ER.”
I didn’t interrupt Seth because I was well aware that Zane Devereaux was an attorney who specialized in family law and was an advocate for kids in the judicial system. I admired the man for the work he did because I suspected he saw the worst of the worst when it came to the most innocent of victims.
“I drove him there and Connor and I went in with him.”
When Seth didn’t speak and refused to look at me, I asked, “Did you see the kids he was talking about?”
Seth nodded and I pulled him to a stop, hating that he was still refusing to look at me.
“Were they okay?”
He finally lifted his head and said, “The little girl broke her arm. I guess some of the other kids in the group home were hassling her and her brother and she fell off a bunk bed when one of the older boys tried to grab her.”
“And her brother?” I asked.
“Not hurt…but he wouldn’t leave her side, Ronan. They just…they just kept holding on to each other like…”
Seth’s voice dropped off and I saw tears fill his eyes. “They don’t even have real names.”
I put my hand on his neck and began rubbing his cool, damp skin in the hopes of comforting him. “What do you mean?”
“Zane says neither of them have talked since they were brought in almost a week ago so no one knows their names. I guess the cops found them in an abandoned building of some kind downtown. It was just the two of them.”
“How old are they?”
“They think the girl is eight or nine and the boy is around three. The girl…she’s deaf and she won’t respond to any kind of sign language. Zane says it will make it harder to find a foster family for her, but the boy is young enough…”
Seth’s voice dropped off and I finally understood what he was struggling with. And truth be told, I didn’t have a fucking clue how to feel about it. We’d managed to make our way back to where we’d started our walk and I tugged Seth down to sit on the weathered log that had long ago washed up on the shore and that was often the place we just sat and talked and held on to one another when we were admiring the view of the water and mountains beyond. I ignored the fact that the dampness of the log was seeping through my pants and pulled Seth against my side so that he wouldn’t get too chilled.
“They’re going to have to split them up,” I murmured as I gave voice to what was bothering Seth.
“I know it’s not fair to ask this, Ronan,” Seth finally said as he sat up so he could look at me. “We’ve…we’ve never talked about the future and…”
“Kids,” I finished for him.
Seth nodded and dropped his eyes. “I didn’t even know it was something I wanted until Matty.”
I tipped his face up and said, “Me neither,” I murmured as I let my thumb skirt over his jawline. “But I do,” I admitted.
A shimmer of relief spread across his features, but didn’t lastlong. “They…they tried to take the little boy away from his sister when they had to cast her arm and he lost it…they both did,” Seth murmured and then he wiped at his face, presumably to dash away the tears that were threatening to fall. “Even after they sedated her, he wouldn’t let her go…I sat down near him and started showing him pictures of Bullet. And then I showed him how to work the camera and use that app that lets you add funny effects to the pictures you take…”
I nodded in understanding, hating the desperation in his voice. I knew exactly where he was heading, but I was conflicted about how I felt about it. What he was asking would literally change our entire lives.
“Can I see the pictures?” I asked when Seth’s voice dropped off again.
He dug out his phone and unlocked it and then handed it to me. There were dozens of pictures of little body parts like a foot and a hand. There were some of Seth too and different people in the hospital room. Some were in weird colors and some had funny shapes added to them like an extra pair of lips or eyes. But my eyes focused on the last picture which the boy had managed to snap of himself. My first thought was that he was way too thin. His tear-stained face looked gaunt and his expression hollow as he stared at the camera. But there was a spark of something else there too…a shadow of curiosity that I instantly wanted to see more of. But what I really wanted to see was that slightly downturned mouth pull up into a smile. Except there were no pictures like that.
