“No, you need to go home and get some rest,” the priest responded.
But Levi started shaking his head before the man even finished the statement. “No, I need to be here.” When Father O began shaking his head, Levi reached out to grab his arm. “Please.”
The one word seemed to spark some silent conversation between the two men. Father O finally nodded his head. “But I’m going to help you.”
“No,” Levi cut in. His voice softened as he said, “You’re already late for hearing confessions, right?”
The priest seemed torn.
“I can help Levi,” I said before I could think too much about what I was doing.
Both men looked at me like I’d grown two heads.
“No,” Levi said, his voice dropping just a bit. “You don’t have to help cook the meal you’re going to eat…you already have enough on your mind. We…” He hesitated as his eyes shifted to Father O who nodded. “We want you to be able to relax and-”
“Levi,” I interrupted. “I’m not homeless and I didn’t come here for a free meal. I was cutting through the alley as a shortcut to get to my car when I ran into you.” I didn’t mention the circumstances of how I’d met him. “You were so kind to offer me a place to get out of the rain and something to eat, that it got me to thinking about how I’d like to give back.” I shifted my eyes to the priest.
“I’d love to help out, if you could use the help, that is,” I said to the older man.
There was a hint of suspicion in Levi’s gaze, which had me wondering if he’d bought my story, but he remained silent. Father O smiled widely and nodded. “Why yes, that would be wonderful. We could use all the help we can get, isn’t that right, Levi?” the priest said.
Levi nodded. “Yeah, that’s great.”
Father O sobered and then turned his attention on Levi. I watched his fingers curl around Levi’s chin. “Put some ice on these,” he said as he carefully fingered the bruised skin. “You know where to find me.”
Another nod from Levi. I expected it was yet another one of their silent conversations. The priest got up and left the room. Levi shifted and pushed the blankets off his body before swinging his legs over the side of the bed.
“You shouldn’t lie to a priest,” he murmured.
His observation was a surprise, but I didn’t bother to deny it. Ithadbeen a pretty lame argument.
“Why were you really in that alley?” he asked.
“That’s not really what you want to ask me, is it?” I countered.
An uncomfortable sensation floated through my chest as I watched Levi bend his upper body over his legs and let his clasped hands dangle just above his knees. His demeanor was much like what it had been in the alley after the rough blowjob.
“If you tell me who he is, I can help you,” I said, shocking even myself. But every time I tried to remind myself that this guy deserved everything he got, I saw him spitting out that cum, his eyes empty, his body broken. It was like he’d accepted that all he’d ever be was some guy who belonged on all fours in a dirty alley surrounded by garbage, waiting for the next man to come along and use his body.
As much as I detested him for what he’d done to Seth and his family, I’d seen enough in the last hour to know he hadn’t walked away unscathed. But I also still had more questions than answers. And the bottom line was that I didn’t believe in making people suffer for their crimes. I’d joined Ronan’s team to make sure justice got served, not to inflict the same torment on my marks that they’d inflicted upon others. Maybe it was a fine line that separated me from the monsters I hunted, but it was there just the same and I knew what side of it I wanted…no, needed to be on.
Levi hung there dejectedly for a moment before saying, “You should go, Phoenix. I really appreciate what you did for me in the alley, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be here.”
When he got up to leave, I grabbed his wrist to keep him next to me. He shuddered and I heard him let out a wisp of air, but he didn’t try to pull free of me. On the one hand, I was glad he wasn’t fighting me, but on the other, I kind of wished he would.
“Why not?” I asked. “Why shouldn’t I be here?”
Levi finally lifted his head and turned to meet my gaze. My heart hurt for him as I saw the tears pooling there. “Because I’d be too tempted to take you up on your offer. What you saw out in that alley…I deserved it…Iearnedit,” he whispered. His tears fell and he pulled free of my hold so he could dash them away. He let out a wet-sounding laugh. “Father O keeps telling me God’s watching over me…that he loves me no matter what and he’ll forgive me for all of my sins.” Levi shook his head. “I don’t have the heart to tell him God gave up on me a long time ago.”
I let him go when he stood and left the room.
Because no matter what, I wasn’t going to tell the man I’d been sent to kill that his life was worth fighting for.
Even if the tiniest part of me was beginning to wonder if maybe it was.
Chapter 5
Levi
