Home.
“That look you get when you realize everything in your world is finally right.”
I looked up at Mav as he finished pouring the coffee and slid one of the mugs across the counter. We were sitting in the kitchen of the small house he and Eli had rented. It had become my office of sorts in the nearly month that I’d been in Seattle. I’d used it to escape from Brennan and Tristan in the days after I’d gotten back from New York, but in the three weeks since I’d told Brennan and Tristan the truth about what had happened to my family, it had become a different kind of distraction. Mostly the kind that kept me from locking myself in my hotel room with Tristan and Brennan…not so I didn’t have to face the world, but because we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
Of course, it didn’t always work because this morning Brennanand I had nearly made Tristan late for his piano lesson with a twelve-year-old girl, when we’d refused to let him out of the shower until we’d wrung one more orgasm from his tired body. We’d accomplished our task of course, and afterwards as Tristan had scrambled to get dressed, Brennan and I had given him a show as I’d fucked Brennan up against the glass shower door. Brennan had come all over the tempered glass just as Tristan had managed to pull his pants on over his half hard cock. He’d given us a dirty look, promised retribution and then hurried from the room. Brennan and I had cleaned each other off and then laid in bed for a while until he’d had to leave to meet his brother for coffee before going to work. Only then had I reluctantly made my way to Mav’s house to go over the new cases Daisy had sent.
“No idea what you’re talking about,” I said, though I knew the long-haired, tattooed man wasn’t buying my act. It probably didn’t help that nothing I did seemed to get the perpetual grin off my face.
“Right,” Mav said as he sat down on one of the barstools on the other side of the counter.
I sent a quick text to Tristan telling him what my plans for him and Brennan were when they got back and then put the phone down. I tried to focus on the information, but my mind kept drifting.
I’d been at my most vulnerable the morning after Brennan and Tristan had made love to me, despite waking up between them, their arms wrapped protectively around me. I’d expected things to change after that…that they would expectmeto change. But there’d been no talk of me meeting family members or of going out on dates or insistence that we put a label on whatever it was we had between us. No, things had actually gone back to the way they’d been before Tristan had admitted to me that he’d told his fathers about me and I’d cut him down with my cruel words. I’d expected Dom Barretti to show up at my door in the days that followed asking me what I was doing with his son, but there hadn’t been a peep out of him or Ronan or anyone else.
And for that I was both grateful…and frustrated.
On the one hand, I needed the time to come to terms with allthe emotions going through me, but I was frustrated with myself for the fear that continued to hold me back from admitting what I already knew to be true. I was in love with both young men and I wanted to build a life with them. I just had no idea how to do it. What if it was like I feared and I couldn’t be that guy who sat around a dinner table and conversed with family members or played with the kids? What if I wasn’t able to give up my solitary existence and do things with my men that ensured we’d be together going forward? Like getting a place together, telling them what I really did for a living and more importantly, telling them I loved them? What if they ended up resenting me for not being able to be everything they needed?
In the three weeks since the night the truth about what Drake had done had come out, Brennan and Tristan had spent every night with me and they often called or texted throughout the day. We took turns cooking and ate dinner together at my hotel every night. And at no time had I felt the need to shut down or withdraw during those conversations. There were some tense moments here and there like a few nights earlier when Brennan had been talking about a customer who’d stopped by the shop just after it had closed down for the night to ask about having a custom 1967 Camaro Convertible restored. It was the same kind of car Drake and I had been planning to buy and restore as an early wedding present to ourselves. My first reaction at the painful reminder of my past had been to go hide away somewhere to lick my wounds, but when Brennan had asked me what was wrong, I’d told them the truth. And then I’d moved past it and the conversation had eventually turned to Brennan’s plans to buy into his uncle’s business after he got his MBA. I’d liked hearing how although as much as he loved working on cars, his true passion was in running the day to day shop business and he and his uncle were ultimately hoping to open more shops throughout the state.
Both young men had shared other stories about themselves and their childhoods. And even though I hadn’t reciprocated, it hadn’t seemed to bother either of my lovers. And despite my continued reluctance to participate in the relationship one hundred percent,neither young man had held back in telling me they loved me every day despite not hearing the words back. Not once had they ever pressed me for more, but they would. They had to, right? I couldn’t be enough for them the way I was.
“Can I just say one more thing and then I’ll drop it?” Mav asked and I looked up at him and nodded.
“It suits you,” was all he said.
“What does?” I asked.
“The look. Just,” – he hesitated for a moment as if wary of crossing some invisible line between us – “just hang on to whatever…or whoever put that look there, okay?”
He dropped his head to focus on his laptop before I could tell him that was exactly what I was trying to figure out how to do.
“Here you go, Mr. Wheland,”the clerk said as she handed me a small white box. I’d stopped at the hotel’s front desk to check if the mail I’d had forwarded from my house had shown up yet.
“Was there a card with this?” I asked as I studied the box.
“No, I’m sorry, there wasn’t. I just came on shift so I wasn’t here when it was delivered.”
I nodded at the woman absentmindedly. “Thanks,” I murmured as I turned away from the desk and began walking towards the bank of elevators. But my curiosity got the better of me and I opened the package right there in the lobby. My heart began pounding when I pulled out a small, delicate, ceramic white cat. Besides the fact that the figurine was a clear reference to Tink, there was something vaguely familiar about it too. I didn’t miss that the initials “PT” were carefully painted onto the cat’s collar.
I pulled out my phone and dialed Tristan’s number. I dismissed the slight unease that went through me, but when Tristan’s voicemail picked up, I said, “Hey, it’s me. So I just got the surprise you left for me at the front desk and wanted to say thank you. Um, yeah, so I guess I’ll see you guys soon.”
I hung up and put my phone in my pocket. I shook my head athow ridiculous I was being. Of course Tristan had left me the cat. He and Brennan were the only ones who knew the cat’s real name. I couldn’t really make sense of the gift, but it was a sweet gesture. And the fact that it looked so much like one of the many cat figurines my sister had had in her room was a bittersweet coincidence. There was no way he could have known she’d collected them.
I heard my phone buzz and immediately pulled it out, thinking it was Tristan. But it turned out to be an unknown phone number.
Did you like the cat?
Confusion went through me as I glanced at the number again. It was a Seattle area code. Maybe Tristan had gotten a new phone?
“Memphis.”
I was so distracted that it took me a moment to register that my name was being called and I finally looked over my shoulder and saw Ronan and Seth walking towards me. They’d just entered the hotel through the front lobby.
“What are you doing here?” I asked in surprise as they reached me.
“Mav told us you were staying here,” Seth said before handing me a small, brightly-wrapped package.
