Had she been awake in those last few minutes? How had it happened? Had the fucker made her suffer? Had she called out for me?
“Magnus,” I heard Dante say softly and I felt his fingers brush over the back of my hand. I hadn’t even realized I’d stopped walking and both Rachel and Dante were watching me with concern.
“Sorry,” I mumbled as I struggled to get a grip on my emotions. Rachel managed a wobbly smile as she ran her hand down my left arm and then put her arm through mine as we continued walking. She held on to me as we walked and I felt a little lighter when she briefly pressed the side of her head against my shoulder.
She really was a sweet girl. I should have done better by her by being the one to break the news of Jenna’s death to her.
The horses were waiting for us in pretty much the same spot they’d been in earlier when Dante had been checking them out. But unlike before, Dolce came right up to the fence and hung her head over, her dark eyes fixed on Rachel. Rachel released me and went to greet the horse while I did the same with Ace.
“Hey, buddy,” I murmured as the big animal pressed his head against my chest before sniffing my pockets. I hadn’t thought to grab any treats, but Rachel solved the problem when she handed me one of the two apples from her jacket pocket. I fed it to Ace as my eyes drifted to Dante. As soon as our eyes met, he shifted his gaze to scan the property.
“Mr. DuCane,” Rachel said and I forced my attention back to her. The sight of her with her arm around my daughter’s horse was bittersweet. The girls had been riding together for most of their teenage years. Since Rachel hadn’t had her own horse, she’d always ridden Dolce when she’d come over and Jenna had ridden Ace.She’d been the obvious choice to care for both animals when I’d had to leave town.
I didn’t bother to tell Rachel to call me Magnus because I’d made that offer many times and she still always called me Mr. DuCane. “Yeah?” I said, praying she wasn’t going to ask me for any more details about Jenna’s death because I was just too fucking raw to answer them.
“I was wondering…are you…are you going to have a service for Jenna?”
I hesitated because I hadn’t thought that far ahead. My plan had been to go pick out a spot at the cemetery to place her headstone, but without a body to bury, I hadn’t considered an actual funeral. Rachel picked up on my silence and said, “Because my mom offered to have it at our place…she said she could cook a few things and she figured people would probably bring stuff. We could…we could maybe do it this weekend? I could take care of inviting her friends…”
Rachel’s voice dropped off and I knew why. Because there weren’t a lot of friends that needed to be invited. Jenna’s addiction had made her a pariah in her already small social circle and the bible-loving members of our small town had snubbed their noses at her after she’d gotten pregnant at fourteen. They didn’t give a shit that my child had been assaulted – all they’d seen was a loose girl with no morals. Simply put, they’d seen Jenna as a junkie who’d deserved what she’d gotten. And I sure as hell didn’t want those people pretending to mourn her passing.
“I think a service is a good idea,” I began. “Maybe you can invite her friends and I’ll take care of the rest of the guest list?”
Rachel nodded. “I’ll make sure the people I invite are coming for the right reasons, Mr. DuCane.”
Not just a sweet girl, but a smart one too.
“Magnus,” I heard Dante say and I glanced at him. “I can help you get the house,” – he jerked his head towards the house – “ready for guests.”
I understood the subtle suggestion and nodded. It would beeasier for Dante to keep an eye on things if it was an environment he was already familiar with.
“Would that work for your mom, Rachel?” I asked and wasn’t surprised when she quickly agreed.
I watched as she turned her attention back to Dolce. “Rachel, I’m going to be moving up North to be closer to family. My plan was to take Ace and Dolce with me, but I was wondering if you might consider keeping Dolce yourself.”
Rachel stilled and her eyes went wide. “Really?” she whispered.
I smiled and said, “I can tell she’s grown quite attached to you and I think Jenna would have liked it if she stayed with you.”
Tears began to fall down Rachel’s face again but she had a grin on her face and was nodding vigorously.
“I can help you out for a while with the cost of boarding her somewhere-”
“It’s okay,” she cut in. “I’ve got some money saved up. I’m working at the O’Leary farm…they’ll probably give me a break on board.” Rachel pushed into my arms again and I gladly hugged her. “Thank you, Mr. DuCane…I’ll take really good care of her, I swear!”
I laughed. “I know you will, honey.” I kissed the top of her head. For just a second, I closed my eyes and held her tight and pretended it was another young woman I was holding. When I opened my eyes, I saw Dante watching me, his expression solemn.
Yeah, he’d known exactly what I’d been thinking.
I felt guilty for taking advantage of Rachel’s kindness even for the briefest of moments, but when Dante sent me the slightest of nods, I felt a bit better.
Because he got it.
And despite all the unresolved shit between us, he was giving me this moment…he was sharing it with me.
It was enough…for now.
Chapter 9
