Mace nodded. “I knew when I was a little kid that that’s what I was going to be when I grew up. Perfect childhood, perfect job, wife, kid…I did everything right and it paid off.”
“How did you meet your wife?”
“I arrested her,” Mace said with a chuckle.
“Really?”
“Yeah. She was part of an animal rights protest outside this labwhere they did animal testing. She and a bunch of others had chained themselves to the front door so no one could get in or out. When I arrested her, she called me some pretty choice names. Even took a swing at me. I knew right then that she was the one for me.”
I laughed at that. “What happened?”
“She came by the precinct to apologize. She actually asked me out before I even got the chance. A year later we were married and Evan was on the way.” Mace looked up at me. “What about you? Was there anyone special?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “A couple girls here and there in school. Lots of women between deployments but those were more about convenience,” I admitted.
“No guys?”
I laughed. “No. This” – I motioned between us – “was a complete surprise. What about you? Did you always know?”
Mace nodded. “I knew when I was maybe twelve or thirteen that my attraction to guys was just as strong as it was to women, more so even. I fooled around with some guys in high school but it was always in secret. I finally told my parents when I was eighteen and I wanted to bring my first serious boyfriend home to meet them. We’d met in the academy. The relationship didn’t last but my parents barely even blinked. They were just as welcoming to him as they’d been to the girls I’d dated.”
“And Shel?”
“She knew I was bi. It didn’t bother her – she knew she was it for me.”
I hated even needing to ask but the not knowing was killing me. “Are you still in love with her?”
Mace didn’t even hesitate when he said, “I still love her but I’minlove with you and Jonas.”
I sucked in my breath at that because I hadn’t expected the admission. At least not for me.
“It’s the same, if you’re wondering,” I heard Mace say and I forced my eyes up, not even realizing I’d dropped them.
“What is?”
“What I feel for you. It’s just as strong as what I feel for Jonas. I wouldn’t be able to choose between you. I won’t,” he added firmly.
Something tight deep inside of me released. Ihadbeen worried that I was the odd man out in our relationship.
“Me too,” I said and then I leaned over and kissed him. “I love you too,” I said against his mouth.
A pent up rush of air fled Mace’s lips and I realized he’d been struggling with the same feelings. I sealed my mouth over his and kissed him until we were both breathless before I released him and sat back down. As much as I would have liked to revel in this new development, I knew I needed to try and figure out how to mend the rift between Jonas and Mace.
“Mace, how did you meet Ronan?”
Mace began toying with the bottle of beer. “It was a year after Evan’s death before the cops finally found the guy who did it. I’d taken a leave of absence from the force after we lost him and I’d started drinking every day to try and deal with it. The news that they had him helped snap me out of it but when the trial finally rolled around, everything went to hell and I just lost it.”
“Was he acquitted?” I asked.
Mace nodded. “His attorney got this rookie cop to admit he’d fucked up the chain of custody with the DNA evidence. Fucker smiled at me and Shel when he walked out of the court room a free man. Told us he was sorry for our loss.”
“I’m sorry, Mace,” I said as I covered his hand with mine.
“Nothing mattered after that. Not my marriage, not my job, nothing. I drank until I blacked out. I fucked anything that moved and didn’t even try to hide it. I stole money from Shel and my parents to buy booze and if anyone got in my way…”
“Your dad?” I asked, remembering Mace’s admission about striking out at his father.
“He tried to take my keys away from me after he came to my house to check on me. Shel had already left me by then and I was stumbling around in the garage trying to get in my car.” Mace choked up and his fingers laced with mine and squeezed hard.
