“Would you accept it if I said I wasn’t sure?” He wasn’t. Initially, Micah’s desire to protect Ellie and visiting her so much had been rooted in the guilt he felt about leaving her in the woods rather than trying harder to convince her to come back with him, but now he didn’t know how he felt. “The guilt is how it started,” he admitted. Letting the rest hang in the air felt far more vulnerable than he was used to - the quiet cowboy who preferred the company of cattle to people. Somehow, though, Ellie didn’t drain his energy the way everyone else did. Her easy smile and gentle laugh despite all she’d been through was a little like the first spring sunshine on his face after a cold winter.
Isaac didn’t speak for a moment, and Micah had to admit his normal respect for his brother’s tendency to think before hespoke suddenly sent a swirling in his gut. “I understand how that feels, and I don’t reckon any of us are all that familiar with it. I guess the only thing to do is to ask the Lord to guide you and go as slow as you possibly can. It’ll be a while before she’s ready for anything more than friendship if she ever gets there at all. We don’t even know her long term plans.”
“She doesn’t either,” Micah agreed. The thought of her leaving made his insides even more twisted up, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Isaac was right, and he’d cut his arm off before he broke the fragile trust she’d placed in him by doing something foolish. “I’ll try and pray about it.” He smirked, remembering the time not so long ago when Isaac was convinced the Lord didn’t care about the happenings of their day to day lives. “You reckon God’s listening to this one?”
Isaac moved forward and wrapped an arm around his brother’s shoulders before turning him in the direction of the clinic. “Micah, let me tell you a story about a man named Moses…”
Chapter Five
“That’s right,” Louisa exclaimed at church on Sunday after Benjamin had correctly answered her question. “Gideon’s fleece was still dry despite all the ground around it being wet. This was Gideon’s confirmation the Lord had indeed called him to fight the Midianites and deliver the Israelites from their oppression.”
“They whooped those Midianites!” Austin exclaimed with a fist in the air. “Didn’t they?” The last two words were added so hesitantly Ellie had to smile, as though the foundation of the boy’s faith hinged on Gideon’s army defeating the Midianites. She knew the end of the story due to her and Louisa’s preparations, a story she’d never heard before but knew she’d visit again.
“They sure did,” Louisa chuckled as Mrs. Burgen began to pass out the crackers she’d brought as the children’s snacks. Amelia Burgen was a woman from the church who’d volunteered to help with the Sunday School class they’d begun with the children. Her youngest, Nathan, was fourteen but she’d still wanted to come in and help simply because she loved children and enjoyed lendinga hand. She’d agreed to bring snacks weekly so the children's bellies would be full for service after Sunday School. “They did with only three hundred men compared to over a hundred thousand Midianites. We’ll talk more about the battle itself next week, but I want you all to remember God’s patience with us when we ask him for confirmation of what He’s calling us to do.”
Judah Tombalt raised his little hand. “What’s confirmation?”
“Great question, Judah,” Louisa replied. “To confirm something means to make double and triple sure you heard correctly. For example, I try to confirm with each of the children at the Sutton ranch they understand the chore I’ve asked them to do before they go and do one incorrectly. Does that make sense?”
Judah’s head bobbed while another hand went up. This time, it was Leah Trotman. “Isn’t there something in this story about men lapping up water like dogs out of a stream?” The girl was probably ten or so, and Ellie recognized a little of the hunger for knowledge she’d always had in her.
“That’ll come next week too, and maybe I’ll convince a few of you to try it after church from the stream over there if your parents say it’s all right,” Louisa said with a wink. “Of course, if it’s not too chilly.”
“Last night my pa said it was cold enough to freeze the horns off a billy goat,” one of the boys Ellie hadn’t met yet exclaimed. All the children burst into their own stories regarding the cold and far more information about their home lives than their parents would probably prefer them to share. The parents in question had gathered outside while they finished up, chatting and enjoying the chance to visit uninterrupted. In the short time since Ellie had been living at the Sutton ranch, she’d realized what a precious thing that was.
“All right, children,” Louisa chuckled as she glanced at her watch. “I think it’s about time to go to your parents so we can open the doors for folks to come inside. Please, tell your parentsall about the story of Gideon and the fleece. Be sure to ask them about a time in their lives when they weren’t sure which way the Lord was leading them.”
The children sprinted out the doors, even the Sutton children no doubt looking for their father and uncles. “You did a great job today, Louisa,” Amelia Burgen said as she took hold of the broom and began to sweep the spots of dirt children had tracked in. “I like how you told them to ask their parents about specific times in their lives as well.”
“One of my great hopes for this Sunday School class, and the hope for Pastor Jim as well, is it’ll spark conversations at home where parents can take ownership of discipling their own children. We can teach them, but we’re here a couple of hours a week at the most. To establish a foundation of faith a child can truly hold on to when things start swaying, they’ve got to be firm. In fact,” Louisa smiled softly as she picked up a few things the children had left behind. “My friend Penelope from Boston’s father always told her something about the boats in the harbor I don’t think I’ll ever forget.” She chuckled. “As a dock worker and sailor, he was forever giving her life lessons related to boats, but this one really stuck with me.”
“What’s that?” The idea of a parent or grandparent leading their child in things of faith felt so foreign to Ellie. It was so far from what she was used to.
“Her grandfather worked at the docks all his life, and his father took right up where he’d left off. They weren’t a wealthy family, but they were a happy one. They went to church together every Sunday and often asked me to their home for lunch while I was in teacher’s school there. One thing her father would always say when any of her siblings shared something they were battling through was ‘all the boats in the harbor look well anchored until the storm rolls in.’”
“That’s beautiful,” Amelia breathed. “And so true.”
Ellie didn’t quite understand. “Meaning they start rocking and floating out to sea?” It made sense, and she knew enough to know it was a metaphor for their own lives, the whole concept felt like an entire subject in school she missed.
“Exactly,” Louisa exclaimed. “When the waters are calm, they all look fine, similar to people. When we have everything we need, some of what we want, and our families are all well and happy, it’s easy to pretend as though we’re depending on God even when we aren’t. When the waters rise and the waves start slapping against us, when the rains come down and the thunder rumbles, we see where we’re anchored. When we’re tested in our low points, we see if we’ve been growing closer to Christ during the high points.”
For the first time, the promise of a real relationship with Jesus felt possible. “How…how do you do that? How do you anchor yourself to Christ?”
Louisa squealed and pulled her into a hug. “Oh, my friend. You’ve asked one of my favorite questions on this earth. If you’ll let me, I’d love to take some time over the next few months to join you in reading some of my favorite passages of Scripture on the topic.”
“I think I’d like that very much,” Ellie said as she swallowed back tears. She’d prayed for years, not really understanding much of what she was doing. She knew enough from Miss Lutken to know all she had to bring to God was a heart open to learning, but she’d longed for the peace the woman had spoken of for years. She’d briefly had a Bible given to her by her tutor, but Grandfather found it and took it, declaring it drivel and made up fantasy. “If you have time, of course. I know you’re busy.”
If possible, her friend’s smile grew even wider as the doors to the church opened once more. “It would be my honor.”
“Recently,” Pastor Jim said from the pulpit as he rounded out his sermon on trusting the Lord would bring justice to those who wronged them rather than seeking their own vigilante versions. “A friend reminded me of my great affection for the book of Micah. We’ve spent an entire sermon here today discussing the command to turn the other cheek, but I want you to understand something.” He winked at Micah and Ellie where they sat with the whole Sutton crew, Sophia sitting in Ellie’s lap while William sat at his side.
“Holding bitterness and anger for those who’ve wronged you isn’t going to do a thing to them, but it will rob you of the joy you’re promised in Christ. Christ, the hope we were given nearly nineteen hundred years ago which the Jews had looked for for centuries. In the book of Micah, we see a verse from chapter six speak of justice.‘He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?’”
Bitterness. Anger. Grudges. They were all things he’d struggled with over the years when thinking of his father, and now even more so when he thought of those who’d wronged Ellie. She still curled in on herself when men she didn’t know came too close, trembled when they spoke to her, and flinched when even the ones she did trust made sudden movements. She spoke quietly when around them, if at all, and the knowledge of what put that fear there had his blood feeling like lava in his veins.
“You might be wondering how this doesn’t contradict what I’ve said before,” Pastor Jim continued. “We know the Lord doesn’t contradict Himself. Vengeance belongs to Him if itneeds to be done, but we can leave earthly justice to the proper channels on earth. As Micah foretold in his book, the Savior did come. He came as the Prince of Peace, the One who will one day return again and make right all which has ever been wrong. In the meantime, He is still our hope.”
As they closed the service and sang a last hymn, Micah noticed Jacob sitting next to Callie in a sight he never would’ve believed he’d see again. They weren’t touching, but they were in proximity to one another outside of work despite the pain she’d caused when she left. Micah had seen a peace in his brother he’d not seen in years, but it didn’t seem to be because Callie had come back. No, it was deeper, and Micah couldn’t help but wonder if it was exactly what Pastor Jim had been talking about.
