Pastor Jim’s words echoed in her mind about strong plants growing from rocky soil. He’d gone on later to talk about how the little plant would eventually need to find a firm foundation, but faith wasn’t determined by the knowledge one began with or the legacy of family. “He’s been so generous to spend so much time with me.”
“Oh,” Callie said with a chuckle. “I think it was the highlight of his year. Nothing brings Papa more joy than getting to share Bible stories typically reserved for children and teach on the deeper faith themes present within them. He was like a child on Christmas morning every time.”
“It meant so much to me, and I enjoyed them so much. I only managed to learn a few of them growing up with my tutor, MissLutken, and she’d not been able to go too far into the application due to Grandfather’s ever present spies all over the place.”
Louisa’s eyes brightened. “You should join me in teaching a Sunday School class for all the children in town. We plan to start in January, and it’ll give you a chance to hear more of them. It’s like they say, there’s nothing quite like teaching to master a subject.”
“Oh, I couldn’t teach them,” Ellie said quickly. “I’m happy to help you with the class, but I don’t know the first thing about teaching children.” She’d had so little experience with them, even as a child herself. Watching other children in town play out the window of her gilded prison would be burned into her memory forever, as she wished for a time before they’d moved there when her belly was empty but her heart was full.
Being at the ranch, it had reminded her of all the beautiful pieces of childhood. The Sutton children had brought her so much joy in the time she’d been there, but it was still so foreign to her.
“You’re far better with children than you think,” Louisa replied. “Don’t you worry about teaching for a good while. I can handle it. You come and help me wrangle the hooligans.” She winked. “They’ll need a good bit of wrangling over the next few months since Florence Day is in charge of the Founder’s Day Festival in late March and wants them to perform a song or two for the town.”
Callie’s eyes widened, and she burst into laughter. “Oh, goodness, that brings back memories. Please ask one of the Sutton men to tell you about the time the schoolchildren were asked to perform a play about the founding of Cloverdale, and how Jacob ended up punching Benny Watkins in the nose during the play because he kept pulling my hair and trying to trip me.” Her eyes went a little glassy, and Ellie knew she was letting the memories wash over her. “I can’t wait to see this.”
Over the next hour, the women talked, laughed, and even giggled over stories from Callie’s childhood and tales from Louisa’s own adventures with so many siblings. Even though she had so little to add, Ellie didn’t feel like an outsider. For the first time in her life, the women around her made her feel welcome and loved simply for who she was rather than the circumstances surrounding her existence.
She was so new to things of faith, though she’d prayed often growing up as Miss Lutken told her to, and it seemed as though one of her longest running prayers was finally being answered. Mama had never had friends either, especially not once they’d moved back in with Grandfather. Initially, they’d both tried to befriend some of the house staff, but he’d squashed that as soon as he noticed.
After a while, the conversation circled back to Callie’s work at the clinic, and how she was faring after Jamie O’Sullivan’s death and his father’s misplaced blame. “I don’t think I’ll ever be fully over it, but I don’t know that I need to be,” Callie said thoughtfully. “My mentor told me over and over to never let the wins go to our heads or the losses go to our heart, but we need to remember the lessons for all of them.”
“What did she mean by not letting losses go to your heart?” Ellie couldn’t imagine losing a patient and not feeling deeply for them.
“She essentially meant not to get too prideful about any outcome, but to recognize God was ultimately in control. We could do our very best and still lose a patient. If we allowed the losses to define us, it would paralyze us with indecision the next time we were faced with such a case. Of course, the losses will always break your heart, but they don’t have to define you as a person or as a physician.”
“That’s so wise,” Louisa said softly.
“In my home growing up,” Ellie admitted as she picked at a loose thread on her dress. “Accomplishements were the only measure of a man - or woman, I suppose. I guess it would be quite freeing to define yourself otherwise.” Mama had never done anything but made her feel loved as she was, but Ellie’s formative years had been spent without her influence. It was hard, harder than she’d ever realized at the time as she watched the Sutton children play freely and use their imaginations.
Compassion clouded Louisa’s gaze. “How old were you when your mother passed away?”
“I was twelve. It was the worst time of my life.” With Mama, she’d at least felt like she had someone in the world who loved her. Once she’d passed, the only person left in the world she could turn to was Miss Lutken, and even then she was only there until she finished school.
“I’m so sorry,” Louisa breathed. “Did she fall ill?”
Swallowing, Ellie shook her head. “No, Grandfather told me she’d gone to one of the mines on business for him, and there’d been a terrible accident. She was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.” She tried to keep the emotion from her voice, but she knew she didn’t manage very well.
Louisa simply gazed in sympathy and horror, but Callie narrowed her eyes. “You don’t believe him.” Of course, she’d picked up on Ellie’s skepticism. Callie saw everything.
“He never let her anywhere near his business, and he had couriers and others who worked for him to carry messages. I never believed him, but I didn’t have any recourse. After so many years, I have to find peace with never knowing.”
Callie and Louisa both approached her then, wrapping their arms around her in the same way Mama always had before she died. “You might be the strongest woman I’ve ever known, Ellie Cartwright,” Callie said as she pulled back from their trio. “The fact you’ve not let it all make you bitter and angry is a miracle.”
“I guess the Lord was working in my heart long before I knew more than a few simple Bible stories,” Ellie replied. “As a child, I never really understood who I was praying to, but I always asked Him for friends like you two.”
Louisa wiped her cheek with an embroidered white handkerchief. “Now you have us, and you’ll not be getting rid of us.”
Micah stepped out of the livery where he’d been talking with Hal to find Isaac dismounting his horse. “What are you doing here?” With him in town already due to taking the girls, Jacob at the clinic, and now Isaac - Abe was the only Sutton brother left at the ranch. They had ranch hands to keep things going, and it was a slower time of year, but there were still miles of fence line to put up and unending chores to do. “Everything all right?”
“Cecily and Liza were experimenting with some baked goods for Christmas and didn’t realize how much flour and sugar they’d run through. I know Louisa’s planning on tomorrow being a baking day, so I figured I’d come get her stocked up.” Isaac shrugged, but Micah could hardly recognize the man who only months ago had only managed to crack a smile for his children.
It must be true what they say - the love of a good woman will crack even the toughest cowboys. “I’m glad they’re having a good time.” There was a time Cecily had needed to take on such a caregiver role for the other children due to the brothers’ work on the ranch she’d missed out on the silliness of childhood. Along with the difficulty she’d faced after her mother’s untimely death after she’d made it to the Sutton ranch or with her father leaving them high and dry, she deserved to get into a little mischief.
“I know,” Isaac said as he gazed off into the clearing in the distance. “I thank the Lord everyday Louisa’s here to lighten their load, Cecily especially, and I’ll buy as much flour as I need to since she loves baking and cooking so much.” It was true, Cecily had always enjoyed being in the kitchen, but baking had become her hobby now she had the time to pursue it. Micah’s belt may be a little tighter, but he couldn’t complain about the result. “Louisa’s been teaching her some of her mother’s recipes they sell at their general store, so she’s been practicing.”
Louisa’s family were planning to come to town for Christmas and would arrive in a few days. Louisa was giddy with excitement, as she was as close to her family as the Suttons were to each other. “I’m glad you two have each other, and I’m glad she’s in the children's lives.”
Isaac studied him for a moment, his eyes darting down to the clinic and back again. “You interested in something like that for yourself?” His expression held no judgement, maybe a little understandable caution. “I know Ellie trusts you, but are you visiting her so often because you feel guilty or is there more to it?”
