Aspen’s eyes widened, as if all the things Iwasn’tsaying finally clicked into place.
“There seems to be only one course of action, then,” Aspen said, like she had it all figured out.
“And what’s that?”
“Take control, Sutton. Make him do what you want. If he’s not happy, fucking ecstatic, barking like a dog, to have you like that, to have youat all, he doesn’t deserve you.”
Hmm, I thought.Maybe shedoeshave it figured out.
The drive home was tense,the air in the car damn near suffocating. In fact, the only reason I wasn’t crushed to dust under its weight was because Lane held my hand the entire way, anchoring me.
I appreciated the small gesture more than I could say. He seemed to understand my emotions were all over the place, unable to settle on any one thing.
Still, despite his sweetness and gentleness, I should’ve been prepared for that alpha side of him to take over the moment we were in the house. I barely had time to kick my shoes off before his hands were on my hips, backing me into the wall, his mouth descending toward mine.
Kissing him was like breathing again, like my lungs were fully inflating for the first time in too goddamn long.
His lips moving against mine filled me with an extreme sense of rightness.
But everything about this waswrong. His hard body pressed against mine, restricting my ability to move, triggering my fight or flight response.
“Lane,” I gasped when he pulled away, trailing kisses across my cheek, my jaw, my throat.
He merely groaned in response.
“No, stop,” I begged, pushing with all my might. I knew when he finally stepped away, he only did so of his own free will,not because I’d moved him. Lane was a solid wall, six feet, five inches of hard muscle. Physically, he was so imposing italmostscared me—would havescared me if I didn’t know the man that existed beneath the brawn.
Frowning, he asked, “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “I can’t…”
There was no good way to explain this, and truthfully, I simply wasn’t ready to strip myself and bare my raw, jagged edges to him.
“You don’t have to run away from me again, sunny,” he said.
That made my hackles rise. “I didn’t run away before,” I retorted, crossing my arms over my chest. “In fact,you’re the one who leftme.”
It was a low blow, and we both knew it.
And Lane clearly wasn’t going to let me get away with it.
“You pushed me away!” he exploded.
He was right, of course.
And yet, he was so wrong.
Neither of us were to blame—or maybe we both were. We’d both been our own downfall.
Honestly, I didn’t know anymore. I’d had so much time—toomuch time—to think about our ending over the last decade and a half. The two events were tied together so inextricably in my mind. The rape, our ruin. A cause and effect, a chain reaction that led us both to this very moment.
But, of course, hewasright.
I had driven the final nail into our coffin.
I’d been the one to tell him I couldn’t bear to be touched.
And it hadn’t been some ambiguous, broad statement.
