She dropped her head and brought it back up with a smile. “Thank you.”
The silence stretched between us again. I hated how weird that felt.
“Can we talk?” I asked gently.
She hesitated at first, but after a thought, she nodded.
We stepped outside, onto the balcony of the reception hall, and shut the doors behind us. The music muffled and faded into the wind, and the skyline glowed behind us.
“How is it, seeing him? After all this time?” she asked.
She didn’t have to sayhisname. I not only tried to push away the emotions I felt from the events the day before, but I also tried to steer clear of my stepfather throughout the whole reception.It was in the back of mind, but when she asked, I was suddenly reminded.
“It was . . . different,” I admitted.
She folded her arms and stared at me. She always knew when there was more to a story. She leaned forward, and I saw her forehead scrunch in confusion.
“He was at the rehearsal yesterday. Busted in, high as hell, thinking he missed the wedding.”
Her eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah.”
“What the fuck? And what happened?”
I almost laughed at that. “At first, we just ignored the nigga,” I answered. “He came up to me, talkin’ ’bout he been telling people in The D that he proud of his son. He saidIwas his son.” I shook my head and balled my fists. I tried to keep myself from becoming angry again. Princess just stood back and watched, listening carefully as I continued.
“He called me soft. I wasn’t soft when I whupped his ass in front of the whole neighborhood. I told him, I ain’t him. Told him I won’t raise my kids like that.”
Her face softened. “I’m proud of you,” she said quietly.
Those words meant more than she probably knew in that moment; however, the softness didn’t last. I made the mistake of adding something else.
“I’m trying to break cycles.”
She slung her head back as if what I’d said shocked her.
“Wow, break cycles, huh?”
I blinked. “What? What do you mean by that?”
“You bury yourself in the studio when things get hard,” she said calmly but sharply. “You shut down and disappear emotionally. You just do it cleaner than he did.”
“That’s not the same thing.”
“I’m not trying to be harsh, Zay. I’m tellin’ you that it’s still avoidance.”
My temper began to rise. “Princess?—”
“No, listen.” She cut me off. “I’m just trying to give it to you straight. What happened to you was wrong. I will never minimize that, but you can’t avoid your problems all your life. You can’t use that forever to excuse shutting people out.”
I stepped closer. “I didn’t shut you out, Prin.”
“You didn’t tell me about the baby,” she shot back. “You decided I couldn’t handle it.”
“You walked back into my life with a fifteen-year-old I didn’t even know I had!” I snapped.
She flinched, and I immediately regretted the tone but not the truth. “I know we talked about it already, so I don’t want to go back down that road, and I have adjusted,” I continued, and lowered my voice. “I changed my life and stepped up. I didn’t run.”
