I grunted and shook my head.
The bridesmaids walked down the stairs. Most were cousins, but there were a few that I didn’t recognize at all from the day before. Their makeup and dresses made them unrecognizable. I smiled politely and excused myself out of the way to an empty wall. After the altercation with my stepfather, I couldn’t remember where I was supposed to be. The wedding coordinator must have noticed that I was confused because she walked over to me slowly and reassured me that I was okay.
“You can wait right here,” she said. “The bridesmaids go in first. Your sister should be coming down the stairs here shortly.”
Right on cue, the music started. The wedding party all gathered in their spots and walked inside, arm in arm. Once the last one made it, the ushers stepped forward and pulled the heavy wooden doors shut behind them. The murmur of the side conversations and the rhythm of the music died down. Then, Kennedy came down the stairs, slow and intentional, like she had waited for this moment her whole life. She was smiling from ear to ear, and I saw her eyes were glossy from fighting back tears behind the veil. It framed her face just enough to soften her, but not enough to hide her strength. Her gown huggedher waist and flowed out in layers that caught the stained-glass light that poured through the windows. Tiny beads were stitched throughout the dress that shimmered with every step she took. She wasn’t just beautiful; she was also confident. She reached the bottom of the stairs and reached her hand out toward me.
In that moment, all the noise in my head quieted. Her eyes found mine, and it was as if everything we had been through together, up until that point, faded. When she smiled, she no longer looked like my adult little sister who was stepping into her new life. She looked like the little girl who used to stand up for me when things in our house got loud.
I stood straight and smoothed out my jacket, lifted my arm, and welcomed her onto it.
“You ready for this?” I asked her.
She walked a few steps toward me and locked her arm with mine.
“I’m ready,” she answered.
The church doors opened, and I took the first step forward. I knew that no matter what else in my life felt unstable, right there was solid. She was my family. Even when it was messy, even when it was complicated, it was still ours.
When I was halfway down the aisle, I scanned the room. Kennedy’s dad’s side of the family mostly filled her side of the room. There were a few aunts, uncles, and cousins I recognized there, whom I hadn’t seen since I left Detroit, but they weren’t who I had been searching for. I scanned the room again until my eyes landed on her.
Yana caught me as I stared at her mother. She nudged her and whispered something. Princess looked up at me, and for a moment, our eyes locked on each other. I felt it in my chest. We hadn’t really talked since that last phone call—nothing out of being courteous, short, and polite.
I missed her.
I broke the gaze first and continued to step forward.
The ceremony began, but my body moved on autopilot. I tried my best to be as present as I could, but I couldn’t stop looking at her.
She was beautiful, as always. Her dress was simple, but it fit her like it had been tailored just for her body. Her hair was curled and pushed to one side. She never wore too much makeup—she never had to—but her lips shone when she smiled at a corny joke the preacher told. Even when everyone else laughed on cue from his jokes, my mind would drift somewhere else. I wondered what it felt like to stand at the front of an altar and watch her walk toward me. What would it feel like to hear vows and truly belong to one another?
I felt her eyes on me a few times too. I’d look over and catch her staring, but she would blink and turn her head like she hadn’t. Yana noticed once. She smiled, rolled her eyes, and shook her head like we were the most obvious people in the room.
When Tyler and Kennedy sealed their vows with a kiss, the church erupted in applause and laughter. I clapped and laughed with everyone else, and as they walked down the aisle, hand in hand, my heart tightened with the thought that I was close to my forever, if I could get it right.
The reception had that Detroit energy in full effect. The music was loud, the aunties did the Tamia hustle, and the liquor flowed heavily.
My Uncle Bud was already tipsy before the food was served. I stood near the bar and took pictures with Kennedy’s friends and coworkers, which she’d invited, when Princess walked over.I was mid-pose with a fake smile when she crossed behind the lady who snapped the photo on her phone.
“Prin!” I hollered over the music. I dropped my arm that was wrapped around the woman and excused myself. Both ladies looked over their shoulders as I jogged behind Princess and gently grabbed her arm.
“Oh, hey, Zay.” She smiled nervously as she turned and realized it was me.
“Hey,” I replied.
We stood there for a moment, silent, the only sound between us being the music from the speakers.
“You did good,” she said softly.
“Oh, yeah? Thanks.”
“You look very nice too.”
I nodded. “Thank you. Had to call Simone to see if I had on the right tie. When I picked up the suit, I thought they’d gave me the wrong one.”
She giggled. “Well, I’m glad she got you together.”
“You look beautiful.”
