“I’m tired.” She sounded so defeated.
“Hang in there. You’re doing great.”
“Am I?” A lone tear slid down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away, averting her gaze.
Saying nothing, Chris tugged her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head against his chest. She fit so perfectly. A sigh left her lips, and she burrowed closer. He wasn’t sure how long they stood out there, but it was enough that Ashlynn started crying again.
“I’ll go turn on some music. Let’s see if we can keep driving.”
“All right,” Erykah murmured.
Chris opened the door for her, then rounded the front. He quickly found the soundtrack and pressed play. Ashlynn’s cries settled to a whimper, then stopped altogether. Blessed relief filled his heart as his mind cleared of her cries. He quickly put the gear in drive and headed for the freeway. If the music worked, they could drive another hour or two before the baby would need to be fed again.
Cheyenne soon fell asleep, and after her, Ashlynn did too.
Erykah reached over and squeezed his arm. “Have I thanked you yet?”
“Pretty sure you did that yesterday.”
“It’s a new day, and you deserve more thanks,” she said.
“I’m not sure that’s true. You’re the one who needs to be thanked.” He glanced at her and winked.
“No, sir. I’m this close”—she held up her thumb and pointer close together—“to losing it. I want to cry constantly. I feel like a failure because I can’t get my niece to stop crying. I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“But you’re doing it. You’ve given all of your attention to them and made sure they’re clothed, fed, and not alone. They know you love them and want nothing more than to take care of them. You’re amazing.”
“I’m a terrible aunt. Maybe if I’d lived closer, this wouldn’t be so hard.” She sniffed, staring out of the passenger side window.
“Erykah.” He laid his palm on top of her hand. “You’re grieving. Give yourself grace.”
“I have a question for you.” She shifted to face him.
“Sure, what’s up?” He glanced at her, then returned his gaze to the road.
“You believe in a higher power, right?”
“Well, not just a higher power. I believe in the one true God and His Son, Jesus.” And now he was just getting the idea that she didn’t. Sadness filled his heart. How could she go through this loss without knowing the Lord? No wonder she felt all the things with such a heaviness. “Your sister believed in Him, right?”
Her pastor had officiated the ceremony, and a lot of the visitors had known Ellynn and Asher from church. Hopefully that meant they’d accepted the salvation of Jesus before and had the comfort of eternal life.
“She did. Even sent me a Bible, though I never read it.” Erykah blew out a breath. “I regret that. I regret not giving her faith more thought simply because she asked me to consider it.”
“Are you considering it now?” Hope lit in him like the smallest of flames.
“Yes, but I know nothing. I don’t know where to start. The Bible is huge. But you keep praying and...” She sighed. “Something happens inside of me. I don’t know how to explain it, but I want to know more. The thought that heaven could be real, that I could potentially see Ellynn again...”
Chris glanced over in time to see her shrug. “I’ll help.” He’d do anything to ease her burden. He wasn’t sure what that meant in the long run, but Chris knew he couldn’t leave her to deal with life’s lemons all alone. He’d once been abandoned, and he never wanted anyone to feel the burden of being forsaken.
“Thank you ...again.” She chuckled.
“Well, here’s what we’ll do. You read the Bible, and I’ll answer your questions.”
“Where do I start? And I don’t have it with me.”
“That’s not a problem. I have an app on my phone you could read from, or you could download one on your phone.”
“Okay.”
