He gave her an app suggestion, which she immediately downloaded.
“Now what?”
“Start at the book of John. It’s the fourth book in the New Testament.” He explained the difference between the Old and the New Testaments, then how the first four books in the New Testament were known as the Gospels. “John is a good place to start because he loved explaining who Jesus was and why He’s so important to the faith.”
“All right.”
Silence filled the cab. As she read, Chris prayed. He prayed that Erykah would come to know Jesus and accept the gift of His sacrifice. He wanted nothing more than for her to live a life with God. Chris had been through a lot in his forty-two years, and he couldn’t imagine getting through any of it without having God on his side.
When Tracey left him standing at the altar alone, something had cracked in his chest. Chris had felt a little less-than ever since. After that day, his self-worth had plummeted. Out of all the years he’d been single, that had been the worst. The one that had him questioning everything. But one thing he knew for certain: God had been with him. Bit by bit, He’d healed Chris and helped him learn forgiveness. Even so, Chris had never wanted to dive back into a relationship until he saw how happy Lamont and Tuck were with their fiancées. Now Chris knew Erykah, could call her friend, and a small part of him wanted more with her.
But he didn’t need a psychology degree to know the timing was awful. She was going through something traumatic, which meant he needed to remain firmly in the friend zone. Erykah needed Chris in that role more than a romantic relationship.
This morning she took up his offer of a place to stay with the kids and mentioned moving into his basement with the girls while looking for a more suitable family home. Her condo building had some larger apartments, but she wasn’t sure that a condo was the best place to raise two girls. She wanted a yard for Charlie and the girls to play in.
If she was moving in, that meant there was no way he could ask her out on a date.
Timing is everything, Gamble. She needs to heal. She needs Jesus.Quite literally, in fact.
So yeah. As much as it stunk, he could logically see the friend zone was the only place for him to be. Now he just had to accept the fact.
Fifteen
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.
The beginning paragraph of John captivated me. It read lyrically, but at the same time, I couldn’t make sense of it. I didn’t necessarily want to admit that to Chris, but then again, he did say I could ask him anything.
But I didn’t want to. If I read this over and over again, wouldn’t I be able to make sense of the words for myself? Only, why wasWordcapitalized? Did it have a bigger meaning thanword?
And why were tears pricking my eyelids once more? Couldn’t I go a day without crying? Ashlynn finally slept soundly, and Cheyenne wasn’t giving me pitiful looks with every mile Chris drove away from Kentucky.
Then again, maybe it was the pressing sense of failure that weighed heavy on me. I couldn’t make my nieces happy. I’d failed my sister in more ways than I cared to count. And nothing in this Bible made sense.
I let out a low sigh. “I don’t understand this,” I said quietly. I could feel Chris’s gaze on me, and my cheeks heated with embarrassment. “Will you please help me make sense of it?”
“I’d be happy to. Read the part that you don’t understand.”
My voice wavered as I reread the paragraph.
“Okay, now give me your questions,” Chris said.
“Why are there numbers after some of the sentences? Why isWordcapitalized?” I read it again. “Is it a person, and if so, do they have a name other than the Word?” I could feel wrinkles popping up in my forehead. “I thought this would be easier to read.”
“You know, your questions make a lot of sense.”
“They do?” I looked at Chris.
“Yes. I’ve read it with understanding for a while, but when I think back, John confused me in the beginning of my faith journey as well.”
A bit of the pressure eased. So it wasn’t uncommon not to understand. Somehow that comforted me. But ... “You’re not just saying that?”
He chuckled. “I’m not. I promise.” He paused, then continued. “The Word is Jesus. He’s the one who was with God in the beginning, along with the Holy Spirit, but we’ll get to that later. Jesus is the light of the world, which is cool when you consider the first thing God created was light. There are so many connections between the Old Testament and New Testament, and they all point to the hope of Jesus as our Savior.”
Okay, some of that made the paragraph make more sense. “If the New Testament talks about the Old, shouldn’t I read that first?” Why go out of order? That triggered me.
“Some people find the Old Testament tedious. They don’t like the genealogies or reading about wars and death. It’s historical in nature, but also prophetic because it foretold Jesus’s birth and what He’d do on earth and in heaven.”
“What’s the first book in the Old Testament?”
