“It didn’t,” I stammered, feeling the weight of the lie on my tongue.
While it had felt amazing and I wanted to do that again, I had felt uncomfortable looking Asher in the eyes afterward.But it wasn’t because I didn’t want him to do it.I was embarrassed because I had allowed it to happen without knowing how he felt about everything.While he seemed like a willing participant, I couldn’t stop wondering if he had done it just to be nice.
“If things are going to work between us, it’s important that we have open, honest conversations,” Asher said gently.“It’s okay if you felt uncomfortable, Vi.I just need to know, because I don’t want to cross any lines with you that leave you feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable.That is never my intention.”
“You didn’t.I asked you to do it.I gave you permission to touch...”
I pressed my lips together and looked down as Enzo’s hand rested on mine, stopping it from shaking.
“Just because you gave permission doesn’t mean that you have to allow things to happen if you don’t want them to.”Asher tilted his head to the side as if trying to read what I wasn’t saying.“It’s okay to be open with us, Vi.We want to know everything you’re thinking.We want to talk things out and make sure you’re okay.”
“I liked it,” I whispered, looking down at my hands instead of at them.
“But?”Enzo asked, his hand still holding mine.
“But I don’t know what to do about it.”
“What do you mean?”Asher asked.
I had both of their attention, whether I wanted it or not.
“I’ve never done something like that before.Anytime I’ve donestuff, it’s always been with a boyfriend.I don’t know how to process the fact that I let you do what you did or that I wanted Enzo to watch.”
My shoulders fell heavily with the breath I released.
They were both so silent for so long that I looked up to see if they were still there, even though Enzo’s hand hadn’t left mine.
“I think a lot of people place value on being with someone you trust when it comes to sexual activities,” Asher said softly.“And I think a lot of the time, that looks like being in a relationship with someone.Having that relationship feels like a safe zone to explore things because you’re committed to that person and have established that trust.”
I nodded, relief easing my worries knowing that he understood where I was coming from.
“I know that we’re not in a relationship, so this is unnerving for you,” he continued.“But Violet, I hope that you know that just because we don’t have the label of being in a relationship, that doesn’t change how Enzo and I feel about this.We respect you and want nothing but for you to be happy and feel loved.If you need a relationship to make this feel—”
“You don’t have to do that,” I rushed out, worried that they were going to tell me that they weren’t the relationship type of guys.I knew they could have any woman they wanted; I wasn’t naïve enough to think that it would be me.“I’m not asking for—”
“It’s okay to ask for it,” Enzo said, cutting me off.“If being in a relationship makes you feel safe and secure to explore the things you want to explore, by all means, we’re down.”
I let out a nervous laugh as I saw Asher nod in agreement.
“I...you guys...”I pressed my lips together and begged my brain to work so I could figure out what to say.“I don’t even know how that would work.I know you guys have mentioned that you likesharingwomen, but I don’t know how that works either.Is it getting hot in here?”
I fanned myself to try to cool the heat that was radiating off of me in waves while my heart raced.
Asher leaned in, pinching my chin gently between his fingers as he turned my head to face his.Before I could think about what was happening, his lips feathered lightly over mine.I started to pull back, not because I wanted him to stop kissing me, but because I didn’t want this conversation to get out of control and for them to feel like they needed to do something they didn’t want to.
But instead of letting go, Asher cradled my head in his hand and deepened the kiss.My lips parted, allowing his tongue access.A shiver ran through me, and I felt my body relax.The more he kissed me, the more I felt myself slipping into a comfort with him that I hadn’t known before.His kiss wasn’t just soft and gentle; it was soothing and a promise that he would always take care of me, however I needed.
He slowly pulled back, breaking the kiss as his eyes searched mine.He licked his lips, as if needing to taste me again, as he leaned back against the couch and glanced at Enzo.I turned to apologize to him, but before I could say anything, he wrapped his hand around the back of my head and brushed his lips over mine.
I felt dizzy with affection as he continued to kiss me, making me want more as a moan slipped out.Asher chuckled beside us, and I felt myself smiling on the inside because they literally did not seem to mind that they had both kissed me within minutes of each other.I guess they really did like sharing.A few minutes later, much to my disappointment, Enzo pulled away and chewed his bottom lip as he stared at me.
I ran a finger across my lips, feeling the slight swelling and knowing that it was well worth it.They were both amazing kissers, and I found myself still wanting more.
“So what now?”I asked, feeling a little unsure as I looked between them.
“That’s up to you,” Enzo said.“What do you want to happen now?”
I shrugged as a blush washed over me.I glanced at Enzo and noticed his raised eyebrow.
